AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2017
ASK A PRIEST
QUESTIONS AND
ANSWERS
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
PRIEST STAFF
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
Father Kevin Bates
"Why was it permissible and sanctioned by God for
Abraham
to sleep with Hagar when he was already married to Sarah?"
- William
Father:
In Genesis 16, the circumstances
surrounding the birth of Ishmael is
described. If the absolute
standard for
marriage today is between one man
and one woman, why was it permissible
and
sanctioned by God for Abraham to
sleep with Hagar? - William
_______________________________
Good question William:
I think we can presume that the story
was more concerned with the creation and
building up of
the new nation of Israel rather than personal
morality. It is problematic to presume
that the moral
mores of our own time
were the same some four thousand years
ago among a primitive tribe
of
migratory nomads who were just
beginning to discover a faith in the one
true God and whose
understanding of God’s purposes was very much
a work in progress.
What is remarkable is that God chose
such a people to begin to reveal his
saving purposes to
humankind. We can
look at our Church today in the mirror
and think much the same thing and
refresh our belief that God will never
abandon us no matter what our brokenness or incom-
pleteness.
Every blessing to you.
Father Kevin
Father Kevin Bates
"My
wife was previously married, but her
husband was unfaithful.
She
had been baptized in the Catholic Church
in El Salvador. Does
thisaffect our ability to follow through
with becoming Catholic?"
- Fernando
Father Kevin:
I am married, and have been married for
14 years. This is my first marriage.
My wife was
previously
married, but due
to her husband being unfaithful. she
became divorced. When we
first met, I
was not
baptized to any faith, and my
wife had been baptized to the Catholic Church
in El
Salvador. However,
she never practiced her faith and has not completed any of
her
sacraments. I grew up Pentecostal,
and
was baptized under
a nondenominational church. We
attend
church regularly now. We attend Calvary
Chapel in the city of Downey. We do
our
best to read our
Bibles, pray, pray together, and lead
good
Christian lives. However, I have
been perplexed lately. I have felt a certain sense to become Catholic.
I do
have some questions
about this though.
Seeing that my wife was previously
married, does this
affect our ability to
follow through with becoming Catholic?
What would need to be done in order for
us
to proceed?
Or, would this impede us
from becoming Catholic, as my wife was
previously married. She
was
not married through the church. I hope to hear what
exactly can be done with regards to this
matter.
I thank you in advance for your
assistance. God bless.
–
Fernando
_____________________________
Dear Fernando,
Thank you for your question and God
bless you too. As far as the Catholic
Church’s present
practice goes,
the
Church would presume that your wife’s
first marriage was not valid, since
she
married outside the
Catholic Church
without anypermission. It’s normally a
simple enough
procedure to establish
this and then
declare that your wife is
free to marry you. It would then
be
another simple procedure to have your present
marriage regularised with the
Church. A
good pastoral priest should be
able to assist you with all of the
above.
This would clear the way for you to be
received into the Catholic Church. If
you were in our
parish here, you
would
be welcome to begin that journey towards
reception into the Church
while you
proceed with the other
processes
regarding your wife’s situation. My
guess is you
are a long way from Sydney
which is where our
parish is! I suggest
then that you listen out
for a parish
community in your area where this would
be possible.
If you wish to be in touch with me
further to this, I am happy for you to
obtain my contact
details from Kathy
Bernard at CatholicView. Every good wish and blessing to you both.
- Father Kevin
Father Kevin Bates
"After 28 years of
marriage, I committed adultery and left
my family.
I never
understood the pain of sin until after
this.
Are my son
and ex-wife
biblically and spiritually correct to
not
associate with me?"- William
Father Kevin:
I am a 53 year old cradle Catholic who
after 28 years of marriage committed
adultery and
left my family. I
never
understood the pain of sin until
after this. Sin is truly separation
from
God. I was a daily communicant and
fell far. Three out of four of my
children will not speak
to me although
they loved and adored me before.
My
ex-wife and 14 year old son have
re-
peatedly said that they forgive me but
will not associate with me
because they believe they
"do not have
to associate with bad people." Jesus
hung with sinners but Paul
(Cor 5:9)
instructs to not associate with sexually
immoral people. I am so sorry for what
I have done
on so
many levels and have returned to mass and communion. I long
for my son and believe
it would harm him
if he
could not give and receive love
from his father. Are my son and
ex-
wife biblically and spiritually
correct to not
associate with me? Does
the commandment
"honor thy mother and
father " apply? Thank you for your
attention
to this. - William
________________________________________
Dear William,
Thank you for your question and I sense
the pain you are in regarding your son
especially.
As you say, Jesus
hung out
with sinners and was accused of eating
with them, forgiving
them when no one
else would do so, and
loving them into
life. It’s really only once we have
gotten in touch with our sinful self
that we get a real appreciation of what
God’s mercy is all
about, and then we
understand how important it is for us to offer others that
same gift.
There’s no way you are a “bad person.”
You wouldn’t be asking these questions
if you were!
God simply cannot help
himself and loves us unconditionally.
This includes his readiness to
forgive
us again and again and no
sin is beyond
the reach of that Mercy.
Someone might do well to point out to
your family Jesus’ challenging
instruction that we not
judge each
other.
Whenever I judge you or stick a label on you, I limit my ability to
learn
who you really are. Labelling
someone
as a “bad person” seems to be a case in point.
Your ex-wife and son say that they have
forgiven you but will not associate with
you. Per-
haps they still feel
the hurt
and sense of betrayal that was caused by
your infidelity. This
is very
understandable. Maybe they
need more
time before they are ready to spend time
with you. It’s also possible that the
hurt they suffered
was so deep that this
may not be
possible and you may have to
learn to live with this.
You may need some prayerful patience
while they may also be in need of some
soften
ing of their hearts so
that the
forgiveness they say they are offering
you may become
more like the mercy the
father shows his son
in Jesus’ parable
of the prodigal son.
I pray for your peace in all this,
William. -
Father
Kevin
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I keep feeling
that I am going to die if my family and
I go
to visit a Church 4 hours away."
Alexander
CatholicView:
Is feeling that you are going to die for no specific
reason ( a car accident) a sign for
my
death or in
Christianity there is no such a thing as
signs. I promised my family to
go on a
trip tomorrow but I
keep on feeling that I'm going to die if
I go (we are going
to visit a church
that is 4 hours far from
home). Thank you and God bless
you!
- Alexandra
_________________________________________
Alexandra:
Have you prayed about
this happening? That you may die?
I must ask you to pray
privately, asking
our God, your heavenly Father, to send
His angels of mercy to keep
you moving
forward in their care
as you make your way to God's Church,
however far.
As to the four hours you must drive to get to that
particular Church, know that the Lord
is
pleased but,
He does not want you to worry about an
accident. If you are truly afraid,
just go to a nearby Church,
if possible. Remember, God can
read your heart and know
you will
find Him within any Church. Go
now, in peace. God be with you always.
-
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"My husband and I are 37
and have two beautiful children.
My
husband wants no more children and wants
to get
a
vasectomy. Please help!" - Caroline
CatholicView:
My husband and I are 37 and have two
beautiful children. He converted to
Catholicism
from Episcopalian
so we could have a full Mass at our
wedding. We make our faith a
priority in
our lives and in teaching our
children but there's one disagreement.
He wants
NO more children and therefore
wants to get a vasectomy,
but I don't think this is okay
according to the Church. I don't use
birth control and we've been able to
avoiding future
pregnancies by monitoring my
cycle. It's worked for over 8 years
(kids are 9 & 8.) We
slipped
up once (I wasn't watching the calendar
carefully), and now I'm late. We still
don't
know yet, but the stress
is too much for him! Is it ever okay to
do this? We really can
hardly
afford the family we have! (Note: If I
am pregnant, we will certainly love and
raise
this child!). I hate to see him
like this, with his heart history the
stress is awful, but God's
way comes
first! Help? Peace & Love. -
Caroline
______________________________________
Caroline:
As
Catholics, we are not all called to have
as many children as we are physically
capable of
bearing. If
we determine, with our spouse, through
prayer and spiritual direction that we
have
a serious reason to
avoid having children for a period of
time, then we are certainly permitted
to
use NFP. However, many
Catholic couples may come to the
conclusion that for the majority
of their childbearing years,
they do not have serious reasons to
avoid having children. For
those of us
who fall into this category, we
should REJOICE that God is calling us to
bring many
little souls into this world
for his glory! Often, those
of us who are in this position are
nervous
and unsure – can we truly handle
the demands of a large family?
How will many children impact
us
financially? And far too frequently,
what will others think of us? We
struggle with human res-
pect, which is
“the putting of the opinion of others instead
of
the place in our conscience.”
God has
given us the amazing privilege to
participate with Him in the creation of
new life.
Women
were
chosen to bring this new life into the
world. God knows what He’s doing. No
child will be
created without
His plan for us. Your husband must know
that this child, if you are pregnant
with
your precious baby,
is not unwanted or unplanned by God. Do
not "destroy" what the Lord has
given to
you. If you find
yourself pregnant, you must not destroy
that baby's life.
If you are not pregnant,
please speak to your priest about NFP
(Natural Family Planning). National
Family Planning is a scientific method
for determining human fertility through
the observation of a
woman's biological cycles. It is a
natural alternative to artificial birth
control. We hope this helps
both you and your husband. -
CatholicView
Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I want to leave this
world and go "Home". I cannot
take the pain anymore." - Janet
CatholicView:
I want to leave this
world. I want to go home. I
don't want to walk on this earth any
more. I want
to go home. May I please? I can't
take the pain anymore? - Janet
_______________________________________
Janet:
I am so sorry to hear
that you are suffering. Sadly, I do not
know if you are in extreme physical
pain or sorrow. Is it your health?
Have you prayed to our Heavenly Father
for His help? You do
not say what is causing you to suffer
this way.
Have you tried to talk
this out with your priest or minister
for help to see beyond the sadness you
are facing? Please read this short
prayer:
"Lord, sometimes I become
fearful of the pitfalls and roadblocks I
face in my life. But I know
with each burden it makes me stronger,
though many times I feel uncertain of
the future.
Help me to remember that Your Son, Jesus
Christ, promised never to leave me to
face
obstacles and miseries alone. I know He
is with me, speaking to me through the
Holy Spirit.
Someday, when this journey is over, I
will rejoice in victory one day in Your
glorious heaven.
Then I will faithfully wait for you to
take me home."
Please read
Hebrews
Chapter 13 Verse 6:
“So
we say with confidence, The Lord is my
helper;
I will not be afraid. What can man do
to me?
CatholicView will pray
for you. Please know that whatever is
upsetting you, believe that our God
will always be with you. With much love
to you. -
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I had nocturnal emission
in my sleep.
Is this a sin?" - Thomas
CatholicView:
Recently I had nocturnal
emission in my sleep. I had confessed
and received Holy Eucharist the
day before. My question is whether
nocturnal emission is sin and whether I
have to confess be-
fore
receiving the Holy Eucharist next time.
Thanks in advance, Thomas
___________________________________________
Thomas:
You ask if you had
nocturnal emission in your sleep, would
that be a sin? Generally, nocturnal
emissions are most common during teenage
and early adult years. Sometimes this
happens
during
sleep without a desire for this to
happen.
If you went
to sleep desiring this emission, ask God
for forgiveness. Please talk to your
parish
Priest and discuss this happening with
him. I hope this helps. -
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I am a Hindu but I
believe in Jesus Christ and my girl
friend
is a Christian. Would it be a sin
to have a date before marriage?
- Arjun
CatholicView:
My name is Arjun and I'm a Hindu but
I
believe in Jesus Christ. My girl friend
is a Christian girl
and
Catholic. My question is, Is it fair to
have date before marriage? Is that a
sin? - Arjun
___________________________________________
Arjun:
You asked if having a date is sinful.
It depends on what you do during a
date. If you remain
without
sinful behavior, (not indulging in sex
without marriage) then you are not
committing a sin.
If you are
in love with your girl friend, then you
must seek marriage. I hope this
helps.
- CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I
am a devout Catholic, diagnosed with
severe anxiety disorder
and schizoaffective. Sometimes I feel
anxious, scared, and many
times have
powerful intrusive thoughts of
masturbation, etc. Are
these
thoughts sinful?" -
Sloskie
CatholicView Staff:
I’m 62, live in almost
complete solitude and I’m very devout
Catholic. I’ve been diagnosed with a
severe anxiety disorder and
schizoaffective.
When I wake up in the
morning I feel very spiritual, calm and
peaceful, especial while in prayer,
but after several hours I begin to feel
anxious, scared, insecure, and sometimes
feel like I’m going
to go insane. The only thought of
comfort is wanting to die and go to
Heaven, which causes me to
be in good spirits! Living in this
world filled with so much evil scares
me. However, I sometime
have powerful intrusive thoughts of
masturbation that change my entire state
of mind and seems to
eliminate my free will. I consider these
thoughts to be evil and it’s difficult
to get back to my right-
eous frame of mind. Are these thoughts
sinful given my circumstances? How
about if I act them
out, which I have started to on several
occasions? I have only masturbated about
6 times in the
past 10 years. -
Sloskie
______________________________________
Sloskie:
I am so sorry to hear
that you have been diagnosed with an
anxiety disorder and schiz-
oaffective.
The physical
symptoms of anxiety during a
panic attack
can be severe and include a
thumping heart (palpitations),
trembling, feeling short of breath,
chest pains, feeling faint, numb-
ness, or pins and needles, etc.
You say
"Are these thoughts sinful given your
circumstances? How about if I
act them out?"
Yet you speak of "wanting
to die and go to Heaven.
Here is what
I want you to do: You indicate that you
are a devout Catholic so live this way,
show-
ing your love to Almighty God. Start
praying, and asking the Lord to give you
peace during this
earthly time. Stop doing the things you
mentioned,.. intrusive thoughts of
masturbation and want-
ing to act out sinful thoughts. Because
you claim to be a devout Christian, act
like on, and do not
hang on to sinful things. Let your God
see a real you!
It is time
to make a change in your life. It is
time to live within your Christian
duties. It is time to
stop the pity and focus on your health
issues. But most of all, hang on to
your faith in Jesus Christ,
our redeemer, and our Heavenly Father.
Let go of the evil thoughts. Now is the
time to start pray-
ing hard, asking God to strengthen you
during your present life; asking Him to
keep you strong in
that loving way He gives to all true
Christians. Stay away from sinful
thoughts, move forward in the
love you have for Almighty God, and His
precious son, who both love you. Jesus,
as you already
know, gave His life, for you and I.
Without them, we are nothing.
One day, if
you turn away from sinful thoughts, God
has planned a forever life for you,
where you
will live one day. None of us knows
when, but that day will come, so if you
continue to live in true
faith, you will live in peace and joy
because He will take you to His eternal
home where you will live
in joy, peace, and happiness FOREVER.
Keep praying!
Turn away
from Satan who is trying to win your
soul and one day sent you to eternal
hell forever.
May God be with you during this time. -
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"What
does SEE mean when proceeding a bible
verse? Thank you". Rich
CatholicView:
What does “SEE” mean when
proceeding a bible verse? Such as i.e. "2
Timothy 1:10". Thank
you. Rich
_________________________________________________________
Rich:
It simply means "Read"
(or See) the verses within the Bible
for clarity of a particular verse. It
is
also
a referral to a topic within the bible.
Hope this helps. -
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I had lustful thoughts about a
woman and feel great
shame and guilt and cannot go to
confession until next
week. If I should die before
Confession, will i have
consequences in Purgatory? -
Bryan
CatholicView:
I am not able to go to
confession until next week. I had
lustful thoughts about a woman and feel
great shame and guilt. If I die before
I get to confession am I going to have
consequences in purg-
atory. I have been and will continue to
pray hours and hours a day because of my
remorse.
- Sincerely, Bryan
________________________________________________________
Bryan:
I am sorry to hear that
you are unable to get to confession. I
would suggest that you pray to
Almighty God, asking His Help and
forgiveness for your sins during this
time of aloneness. Pray
and tell the Lord of your great shame
and the guilt of your behavior . Ask
the Lord to strengthen
you, asking Him to help you move forward
in His mighty love and caring for you.
Seek His
wisdom to help you move away from sin,
and give thanks that He
is so infinitely patient with us all.
Read Psalm 51: 1-6
for God's Cleansing and Pardon:
"Have mercy on me, O God,
according to Your steadfast love. And
according to your
abundant mercy, blot out my
transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from
my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin. For I know
my transgressions, and my sin is ever
before
me. Against You, You alone, have
I sinned and done what is evil in Your
sight, So that
You are justified in Your
sentence and blameless when You pass
judgment."
Amen
Bryan, keep praying to the Lord in the
meantime. May God be with you always.
-
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"My girlfriend of three
months has decided to move in with
her ex-boyfriend. He has promised he
will commit to
marriage in 2 years. How can I make her
see he is
using her?" - Ken
CatholicView:
I dated a lady for 3 months. She
decided to go back to her ex boyfriend
who doesn't want to
commit
to her, but wanted her to move in with
him. I'm lost. He now says in 2 years
he will
commit to her in
marriage. I don't want to lose her. What
can I do to try to make her see that
he is using her. You
know, why buy the cow when you can get
all the milk for free? - Ken
_______________________________________________________________
Ken:
I am assuming that you are Catholic.
And I am so sorry to hear that the lady
you dated for
these 3
months may be now living in sin with her
ex boyfriend. From what you state, she
is
apparently living
and indulging in sexual activity with
her ex-boyfriend.
Why would you want to be with such a
sinful person?
Move forward instead, and pray for her,
and ask the Lord to send you someone who
will share the
Lord with you. May God bless you.
-
CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I am twice divorced and
living with a woman and
have not been to mass in years.
According to
the Church, divorce and adultery is
sinful.
Is communion forbidden?" - Luke
CatholicView:
I am twice divorced and now living with
a woman. Because of this I have not
gone to mass in a
few
years. I understand that according to
the Church that divorce and adultery are
a sin. To be
honest
I will not stop living with this person.
Is communion forbidden? I have not
taken it because
I do not
want to dishonor anyone by receiving
unworthily. I will not enter God's
house and disres-
pect His
rules while there. My understanding
that even with confession, I would have
to remedy
the situation. I am in before receiving the host. Is
that correct? - Luke
________________________________________________________________
Luke:
Because you are living in sin, yes,
communion is forbidden. It is true that
you are violating what
God,
your Heavenly Father, wants for you. You
are dishonoring God. The fact that
you already
know the
consequences of what you are doing is
sinful and wrong. This is
something you must
think very hard
about.
Most importantly, you must realize that
should you die in this state, you will
not be welcomed in
Heaven.
Which is most important, living in sin
or following in the footsteps of Jesus
Who gave
His life for you
and I? Please think and pray about
this. If possible, talk to your priest
about this
situation?
- CatholicView Staff
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"Does the statement of
Matt 5: 11-12 just refer to
religious
persecution
or just good things that one
does in life toward other people or even
my wife
and getting nothing in return? - Jim
CatholicView:
Matt 5:ll-12
“Blessed
are they that are prosecuted for
righteous sake for they will inherit the
king-
dom of God” In your opinion, does this
statement just refer to religious
prosecution or could it be
also the good things that you do in life
towards other people or even towards my
wife and then get
nothing in return, not that I am
expecting it. It just seems that I just
get the cold shoulder or ridicu-
led by my wife because I am trying to do
nice things to show my love towards
her. Thanks. - Jim
_____________________________________________________________
Hello Jim:
You ask
CatholicView the following:
"In your opinion, does this statement
just refer to religious
persecution or could it be also the good
things that you do in life towards other
people or even to-
wards my wife and then get nothing in
return?” Notice that Jesus is
telling us that although we try
to
demonstrate to others the
righteousness that God wants us to share
with all people, many do not
want to follow God's teachings. It is
not a teaching to receive earthly
things, Jesus wants us to bring
the message of eternal life to all who
will listen.
As Christian believers,
we want to share the teachings of
Almighty God to others, but the
sinfulness
of others may not want to listen or
accept God's offer. They do not want to
hear about the blessing
of being persecuted for doing the
righteous things in this earthly world.
They turn away and many
persecute Christian believers.
The reality in today's
world is that IF we demonstrate genuine
righteousness, some will reject us,
and
accept the sins of this earthly world;
thus losing the Kingdom of God. When we
speak of the
righteous things, Jesus tells us, even though
the sinful will persecute us, we must
continue to spread
the
good news of righteousness and eternal
hope. And if we stand strong and follow
His teachings,
one
day when the Lord comes, He will take us
home to inherit the Kingdom of God.
Jesus speaks about the
blessing of being persecuted for doing
what God as us to do. The reality
in our fallen world is that if we
demonstrate genuine righteousness, there
will those who will continue
to live in sin. Jesus elaborates by
pointing out that the prophets, who,
like Him, announced God’s
kingdom and were persecuted. He tells
us: “Blessed are you when people revile
you and persecute
you and utter all kinds of evil against
you falsely on my account. Rejoice and
be glad, for your re-
ward will be great in heaven; for in the
same way they persecuted the prophets
who were before
you”. Those who
would live righteously for God have
always been persecuted by people who do
not believe,
but Jesus also tells us: "Blessed
are you, when men shall revile you, and
persecute
you, and shall
say all manner of evil against you
falsely, for my sake." Keep
in mind that we are
members of God's
loving mercy, and one day we will be
taken up to live eternally.
The reality in today's
world is that IF we demonstrate genuine
righteousness, some will reject us,
accepting the sins of this earthly
world; thus losing the Kingdom of God.
When we speak of the
righteous things, Jesus tells us even
though the sinful will persecute us, we
must continue to spread
the good news of righteousness and
eternal hope. And if we stand strong
and follow His teachings,
one day when the Lord comes, He will
take us home to inherit the Kingdom of
God.
Hope this
helps
you, Jim.
-
CatholicView Staff
Please
use the link at the top left side of this page
to comment or be added to the mailing list.
