MAY/JUNE2017
ASK A PRIEST

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER LAZARUS CHAWDI
PRIEST STAFF
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

FATHER CARLOS MORALES

"My priest anointed me with Holy Oil and said
 "May your sins be forgiven.  Does this mean
that all of my sins are forgiven? "Stephen

Father Carlos: 

I recently went to an Anointing of the Sick Mass.  When the priest was anointing me with holy oil, he said may your
sins be forgiven.  Does this mean that all of my sins are forgiven from my past?  Thank you, Stephen

______________________________________________________________

Stephen:

The Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick, once called Extreme Unction (the Last Rites),  is a beautiful sacrament of
the healing of body and soul.  Let's see what the bible says about this sacrament.  In the Letter of James, Chapter 5,
Versus 13-15, in the New Testament (the Christian scriptures), James writes this:  Is there anyone among you suffer-
ing?  He should pray.   Is anyone in good spirits?  He should sing praise to God.  Is anyone among you sick?  He
should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of
the Lord, and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up.  If he has committed any
sins, he will be forgiven."  Yes, the forgiveness of sin is part of the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick according
to the bible.   

If you were repentant of your sins when you were anointed, you received the forgiveness of all your sins.  Usually, the
forgiveness of sins is usually associated with the sacrament of Penance (confession).  But in times of spiritual healing,
the Anointing of the sick has the component of forgiveness of sin.  That is made clear in the Gospel of Mark, Chapter 2,
Verses 1-12, when Jesus healed the paralytic man by forgiving his sins.  Jesus didn't say be healed of being a paralytic. 
Jesus said that his sins were forgiven.  True healing comes from the forgiveness of sin.  And such forgiveness of sin
makes its healing power present in the sick body. 

Yes, the sacrament of the anointing of the Sick forgives sin.  But that all depends on the repentant heart of the sinner.
The graces and forgiveness of sin through the Sacrament of Penance and the Sacrament of the Anointing of the sick is
dependent on whether one's heart is open to God's grace.  And when one's heart is open to the forgiveness of God,
healing happens within and effects the whole body in miraculous ways!  - Father Carlos Morales 

 

"I am Catholic.  My Grandson was baptized on Easter in a Christian Church.
I was not invited.  Should I have gone to the baptism?"
 - MD 

Father Carlos:
 

My grandson was Baptized on Easter Sunday in what they call a Christian Church.  I did not attend. I wanted to. I was
not invited.  I did not attend. Just told about it.  I did not make a big deal out of it because my understanding is if I had
attending it would be against the Catholic faith.  I have had such issues with my kids their whole life about the Catholic
church.  My husband used my faith against me to tear my kids away from me. It worked. I was not strong enough to
stand up to it. He won.  He passed away 7 years ago.  My daughter passed away 3 years ago and she was baptized
Mormon. I did go to that. I did not think about it as being wrong going but, that I was helping my daughter get away from
drugs. It failed.  She died from drugs in a house fire.  I cannot get my kids or grand kids to attend mass with me.  This
last Christmas Eve the one Grandson that is only 16 and has been Baptized is Mormon and he went to Mass with me. 
We spent Christmas Eve together and he believes in God but, he does not go to church regularly. I used the going to
mass as a Christmas gift to me and he was really happy with that. We had spent the day together and it was amazing. 
Ending with mass and him meeting Father Titus, our priest.  Could I have gone to the Baptism? What should I have
done?  God Bless...+   MD 
________________________________________________________________

MD:

You could question yourself to the extreme, but what is past is past.  Since you were not invited to attend the baptism
of your grandchild in another Christian denomination, there was nothing you could do about it.  So, please stop punish-
ing yourself about something you could not have done anything about.  Now, you could have gone to the baptism of your
grandchild. That would have been acceptable because family ties are sacred, and your presence in your children's lives
is extremely important and suggests that God loves them even though you may not agree with what they are doing. 
Family ties are important since these ties are forever.  Yes, forever.  In heaven, you will still be their mother and they
will still be your children.  Forever.  But in Heaven, you all will know everything about God's plan for your earthly lives
and be amazed at the depth of God's love for you all.  Any mistakes will be corrected and in Jesus all will be reconciled. 
Yes, you could have gone to the baptism of your grandchild with no sin involved.  Family ties are important and must be
kept strong.  Be at peace.  I share your joy that your grandson shared the Christmas Mass with you even though he is
not Catholic.  You are blest!   - Father Carlos Morales

"I have been baptized in the Baptist Church but I want to know
more about the Catholic Faith.  Is it possible for me to convert
to Catholicism?" - Felicia

Father:

My husband is currently incarcerated.  He has found God through the Catholic religion and it's a blessing!  For me on
the other hand, I have no clue about the Catholic Religion.  I do believe in God.  I have been baptized in the Baptist
Church but I would love to know more about the Catholic Church.  Is it possible for me to convert to Catholicism?  I
have so many unanswered questions and He tries to explain them, but still don't understand.  Is there any documents
that could help me?
  - Felicia

____________________________________________________________

Felicia: 

Your husband has found his faith in Jesus as his Lord and Savior within the Catholic Church.  Yes, you too can
become a Catholic.  If you reach the stage that you want to become Catholic, you will speak with your parish
priest or deacon and they will guide you into the process of becoming Catholic called the Rite of Christian
Initiation for Adults. (RCIA). Here is a simple summary of the Catholic Church here: http://www.acatholic.org/
about-the-catholic-faith/ .  And for a more detailed look at the Catholic faith, may I suggest that you read the
"catechism of the Catholic Church".  It is detailed and "heavy" reading, but it will answer all your questions:
 http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENGOO15/_INDEX.HTM  Just click on the chapters and read the paragraphs

according to subject title.  You could also download the whole Catechism for free here: http://www.usccb.org/
beliefs-and teachings/what-we-believe/cate-chism/catechism-of-the-catholic-church/.  I hope that the Spirit of
God will inspire you as you begin to understand the Catholic faith and your husband's new found relationship
with Jesus as Lord and Savior in the Catholic Church. - Father Carlos Morales.
 

"Can I Become Catholic If I have Tattoos?"
- Dustin

Father Carlos:

I was wanting to know if I already have tattoos, can I becme a Catholic?  Thank you. - Dustin

________________________________________________________________

Dustin: 

Yes, you can become Catholic even if you have tattoos.  There is no prohibition against tattoos except that
your tattoos are not glorifying the devil or sin.    -  Father Carlos Morales

"I have a history of trauma that causes me to be extremely
careful and extremely risk-averse.  Can you help me?
- Deschene

Father:

Thank you for providing this service. I don't know what my actual question is.  Here is the problem I find myself
having.   I have always wanted a relationship with the Divine in some way. One day, I was listening as someone
in my family was watching a religious program.  A woman was preaching, telling a story about how she gave
She said as soon as she gave her life over to God's will, she more or less went bankrupt, lost everything, and
ended up living out of her car with her family.  This absolutely terrified me, and I have been scared to pray or

with really have anything to do with spirituality ever since.  I don't know what my actual question is, but can
you provide any guidance, or even just comfort about this issue?  What am I supposed to do?  I have known

a lot of pain and gotten a lot of horrible surprises, including being homeless, and I'm really not willing to even risk

experiencing any more of that.  Please help. Thank you so much for your time.  Sincerely, Deschene:

______________________________________________________________

Deschene: 

I am responsible for my life, and what happens to me and to others around me (since every action I do
affects those around me).  And there are times when bad things happen because others cause the problems and
pain, and I must somehow rise above that and become master of my life despite what others are doing around me
and possibly to me.  My faith in God enables me to see the BIG PICTURE of life.  When I am in trauma, as you per-
sonally know, I do not see anything but the pain.  I see nothing else.  But my Creator (my celestial Parent) wants
me to open my eyes and see the bigger picture and wants me to have hope of overcoming the negative.  That's what
faith is all about:  to see that life is bigger than me, to snap me out of my self-centeredness and self-pity, and to
move forward without looking back and being weighed down by the past (the meaning of forgiveness).

As a Catholic Christian,  I am in a faith relationship with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  It is that Christian faith
that enables me to break free from my own pain made by my own decisions or by the decisions of others.  Instead
of feeling sorry for myself and allowing myself to be imprisoned by inaction and depression, my faith in God tells me
that life is so much more than the present pain.  I could go on, but I just wanted to simply answer your question clearly.

Having a relationship with God our Creator and Father does NOT bring anything negative.  Such a spiritual relationship
only brings life, joy, peace, serenity, strength, love, and hope.  The negative comes from within and from others around
me.  Without God, there is no hope and without hope, there is no joy.  With God, there is hope, joy, and fullness of life.  
For me, I cannot imagine life without God.  Now, it is up to you whether or not to have a relationship with the Divine.  
Have no fear of God.  That I do not have.  I do, sadly, have concern (fear, anxiousness) about the sinfulness of human
beings that can make life miserable.

Without faith in God, life can seem quite hopeless.  Choose God and live life to the full without fear.  And when you
choose God, you can do the impossible because, you see, God always believes in you.  And when you believe in Him,
you can overcome the negative and trauma of life.  Faith in God gives me the self-confidence I need for every situation
..why?  When I know my Creator, in whose Image I was created, through my spiritual life, I realize how much He be-

lieves in Me because He truly loves what He has made.  God looks upon me and sees me as "very good" (see Genesis

1:31).  Once I realize this truth of being eternally loved, I am at peace no matter what is going on around me. - Father
Carlos Morales
 

"My daughter is a cantor at Church but moved in with
her boyfriend.  Her priest told her she could never hold her
position.  Could she still take communion? - Lulu

Father Carlos: 
 
My grown daughter served as a cantor at Mass. she moved in with her boyfriend. I was told by our priest that
she could no longer hold that position because she could not receive communion.  The words he used were
"scandalous" and the Parish would never tolerate this."  Is this within the rules of the Church?  Could she still
cantor but not receive communion?"  We are extremely hurt by how this has been handled. Lots of gossip and
talk in the parish. Yet the priest has NEVER spoken to my daughter but called us in to let us know she can't
fulfill that position any longer. She is 25 years old and the 7th generation in my family to be a member of that
parish.  We are so hurt that my child feels unwelcome in our parish that we are considering leaving.  We are
extremely hurtby how this has been handled. Lots of gossip and talk in the parish. Yet the priest has NEVER
spoken to my daughter but called us in to let us know she can't fulfill that position any longer. She is 25 years
old and the 7th generation in my family to be a member of that parish.  We are so hurt that my child feels un-
welcome in our parish and we are considering leaving. -  Lulu   

_______________________________________________________________

Lulu:

I am saddened that your parish priest did not handle this situation better, but the conclusion he came to is
correct.  As a parish priest, if I had a concern or problem with anyone if the parish, I would talk to that person
face to face.  I would never talk to the parents unless the person in question is a minor.  Your daughter is not
a minor so your priest should have spoken to your daughter directly and not to you, her parents.

Let's be clear about a moral Christian life expected of all leaders of the Church:  all leaders, even cantors, must
be living the teachings of the Church in their daily lives.  Since there is no acceptance of sexual relationships out-
side of a sacramental marriage as a Christian moral decision, your daughter made a decision to live with her boy-
friend before marriage, and by doing so, is loudly saying that she is rejecting the teachings of the church and the
gospels in regards to living a moral life in the area of sexuality.

The role of Cantor (leading the people in song during liturgical celebrations) is considered a leadership role.  She
is before the people of God not only as a song leader, but also as an example of a Christian moral life.  By lead-
ing in prayer and song, she is a leader and a moral example of living the Gospel in all areas of her life. 

By living with her boyfriend, she has decided to leave behind her role as leader and example, and, sadly, there
are consequences to that decision.  One of the consequences is that her parish priest has to remove her from her
leadership role because she is living in fornication (a sexual relationship outside of a sacramental marriage).  Any
sexual relationship outside of marriage is sinful.  And as long as she lives with her boyfriend and continues her sexual
relationship with him, she cannot receive communion and she cannot be in a leadership role in the parish.  As soon
as she moves out on her own and not live with her boyfriend, she can come back to her leadership role in the parish. 
As soon as she moves out on her own and not live with her boyfriend, she can come back to her leadership role after
participating in the sacrament of Penance (confession).

If she should marry her boyfriend in the Church, she would be able to return to her role as Cantor.  But as long as she
is in this relationship outside of marriage, she will not be able to take part in a leadership role in the Church.  She can
participate in the life of the Church, but she cannot receive Holy Communion until this relationship is resolved according
to the Gospels and the Church.  Being a Catholic Christian means that we take on a specific life long spiritual discipline
upon ourselves as we journey to salvation in Jesus.  Jesus wants us to be pure. 

In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 5, Verse 48, Jesus said this:  So be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.
The Gospels demand that we take on the discipline of Jesus' teachings (hence, we are disciples of Jesus) as we look
forward to our place with Him in Heaven.  And spiritual discipline and faith is what being a Christian is all about.

Once again, your parish priest handled this badly but he knew that he had to challenge your daughter to be a disciple of
Christ by pointing out her sinful decision to live with her boyfriend.  I know that your daughter is strong enough to chose
the right way of Christian morality. 

It is difficult to live as Christ wants us to live, to be a light and model to the world of Christian virtue.  As loving Parents, I
appreciate your hurt and anger towards your parish priest about this matter.  But see the bigger Christian picture in this
painful moment  Your daughter is an adult and she must know that there are consequences to every decision she makes. 
May the Spirit of God guide her in all that she does and I pray that she re-evaluates her moral decisions.  I will pray for
her tonight, and I will pray for you as well. 

Your daughter's decision does not reflect your excellent parenting.  All children adults are responsible for their own
decisions.  Their parents are not.  But you can speak to your daughter about her decision to live with her boyfriend.
Then, after doing so, let her be.  She is responsible for her life before God.  -  Father Carlos Morale

"My Dad was diagnosed with heart Arhythmia a while
ago and takes heat medications.  I get very unsettling feelings and
think he's not telling me everything about his health.  Please help?"
- Canasta

 

Father Carlos:

First off, thank you all for taking the time to answer questions.   I'm in need of advice here!  Here's the problem I'm
facing.  which was a while ago, don't exactly know how many years it's been. I just wonder if there are times that
he's not telling me certain things. I can't say for sure.  I know that we have a great relationship and do talk, but
sometimes.  I did ask him before, a few times at least how he's feeling. I know that there have been times that he
would feel lousy, sometimes it happens, he's on heat medications, and that's good. I just don't know what to think. I
have to be honest here, what I'm feeling Is I just don't know what to do. Please help!  Any advice would be welcomed!  
- Canasta
________________________________________________

Canasta:  

I know that your feeling of love and care for your father is driving you to protect him and control every aspect of his life. 
But there is only so much you can do.  If your father wants to spare you what he is feeling, or if he doesn't have the
vocabulary to express what's going on, then please, let him be at peace.  You cannot heal his heart problems.  You can-

not stop the march of time.  You cannot make your father say anything he doesn't want to share. 

Please accept that your father is in God's Hands and that your father's life is in God's control, not yours.  You are feeling
unsettled because you feel so powerless.  This is one of those life situations in which you give to God and say that you will
trust God totally.  Just be present to your father, do what is necessary, and make sure that he has what he needs.  Other-
wise, let your father lead his life as he wishes.  Here is my favorite little prayer when things get out of control in my life: 
Lord Jesus, I trust in you. 

Keep saying that prayer when you are anxious about your father's health.  Trust in God always even when life experiences
are out of your control.  -  Father Carlos Morales
 

"I have been a smoker since young age and it is a difficult habit.  
I also smoked cannabis since high school.  Until I break the
habits, should I be confessing every week?" - Kevin

Father: 

I have been a regular smoker since a young age and am finding it difficult to give up the habit. I have also smoked

cannabis since high school and been a heavy user most of my life, though with determination to also give up this
habit, I now only smoke cannabis occasionally. Having attended a Catholic school and then straying from the
Church for more than 40 years I now attend Mass every Sunday and usually take communion.  Until I break
the habits should I be confessing every week.  I am now 57 and wanting to amend my life and be at grace
with the Lord.  -  Kevin
____________________________________________________

Kevin:

Whenever a person does something against the body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, that is addictive, it is
considered sin, something that is against God's Will for the welfare and salvation of a person.  Smoking,
drinking alcohol in excess, smoking marijuana recreationally (cannabis), overeating (gluttony) and other des-
tructive behaviors are all considered actions against the temple of the Holy Spirit (please see 1 Corithians 6:
19).  Since you are trying to be free from addictions and keeping your body pure for God, I would strongly sug-
gest that you mention your struggle with these additions in confession so that you may leave them in God's
merciful hands and seek His strength and grace in the sacrament of Penance (confession).  By doing so,
you hold yourself accountable to God for your actions against the temple of the Holy Spirit which is your body
created for God's greater Glory. -   Father Carlos Morales

"What is the meaning of the Second Coming?"
- Gianni

 

Hello Fathers:

I hope this message reaches you in good health. I was hoping you could give me an answer to
a question. What is the meaning of the Second Coming?  As for my religion I would say that I am the perfect
example of a Christian, of course preferring the Catholic tradition. - Gianni
____________________________________________________________
 

Gianni: 

The Second Coming is the promise that Jesus would return at the end of time to bring everything together and
present all creation to the Father.  I think of one particular bible verse that sums all the teaching about Jesus
coming back at the end of time in the Book of Revelation, Chapter 1, Verse 7:  "Behold, He is coming  amid
the clouds; and every eye will see Him; even those who pierced Him; All the peoples of the world will
lament Him; Yes, Amen."  In the Acts of the Apostles, when Jesus ascended into heaven before his disciples,
this happened as stated in Acts of the Apostles, Chapter 1, Verse 10:  While they were looking intently at
the sky as He was going, suddenly two men dressed in white garments stood beside them.  They said,
"Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky?  This Jesus who has been taken up
from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven."   Yes, Jesus
is coming again, and when He does, all things will be reconciled in Him!   A very important aspect of the  Second
Coming of Jesus Christ at the end of time is the Final Judgment. In the Gospel of Matthew,  Chapter 25, Verses
31-46, Jesus said that at the end of time, the sheep and the goats will be separated and judged according to
their deeds while on earth, and judged according to their deeds while on earth and judged according to their
deeds while on earth.  You can read the verses yourself and judged according to their deeds while on earth. You
can read the verses yourself.  In the same Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 24, Verses 29-50, there is quite a clear
description of the end of times and the Second Coming of Jesus. Yes, Jesus is coming again!  and they will see
Him come on the clouds and there will be no doubt about Jesus as the Son of God and Savior.  Come Lord
Jesus!  - Father Carlos Morales

 
"When I was in my early teen years I became severely depressed
and renounced my faith.  I committed what Jesus said was an
unforgiving sin.  Recently I was told I can never be forgiven
for blasphemy.  Is this Really true ?  Aleeshya

 

Hello:

When I was in my early teen years I became severly depressed.  At that time I renounced my faith.  At that
time I committed what Jesus said was an unforgiving sin.  I was so depressed I even turned to other religions
trying to find some form of happiness.  Nothing worked until I went back to my Christian faith where constantly
prayed and tried to find my way back to God.  Recovery was long and difficult but with faith I got through and
now I'm stronger.  But recently I told I can never be forgiven for blasphemy. Is that really true?  I was raised in
a Pentecostal home but went to Catholic school and chose the Catholic way because  I felt it resonated with
me more.  - Aleeshya
_______________________________________________________

Aleeshya:

I praise God for your recovery and your control over depression.  God has guided you in this recovery and has
given you the spiritual strength to stay on course oin your healing.  You have had a difficult  journey.  Because
you have now been healed from your pain, you have found the peace you desire in God's Spirit through Jesus
Christ!  Praise God! Now, to make this as clear as I can: You have not committed the unforgivable sin of blasp-
hemy against the Holy Spirit.  You are making a reference to the verse in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 12,
Verse 31:   "Therefore I say to you:  every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven, but blasphemy against the
Holy Spirit will not be forgiven."  Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is a life long act that will not accept the
free gift (amazing grace) of forgiveness from God.  A person, making a life long free will act of not accepting
God's  forgiveness, means that the person will die with all their sins intact.  Blasphemy against the Spirit is more
than just one act of blasphemy or sin.  Notice that in Matthew, Chapter 12, Verse 31, Jesus said clearly that
every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven.

So, even though you said things when you were in the grip of despair and painful depression, the fact that you
accepted God's forgiveness and were given the spiritual and emotional strength to reach recovery, that in itself
is clearly a sign that you have NOT committed the unforgivable sin.  You are forgiven and saved!  Revel in the
love that God has for you, and give thanks for your recovery!  Now, go help others to reach recovery and know
of the eternal love that God has in reach for each of us.  The unforgivable sin is dying without accepting God's
forgiveness and turning one's back on God's Spirit even at the point of death. You have not committed this un-
forgivable sin.  You are saved by God's grace.  You are loved forever!  Alleluia! -  - Father Carlos Morales

"If a couple has divorced but remain intimate, are
they committing fornication?  - Rcorujo

Father: 

If a couple who was married in the Catholic Church divorce, yet remain with each other and still love each other
very much, are they committing fornication?  I would expect "no" since although they have a civil divorce, they
are still married according to the Church.  Is this correct?  - Rcorujo
_____________________________________________________________

Rcorujo:

Your first answer is correct: The couple who are divorced and living separate lives are committing sin if they
continue to have physical sexual relations.  My first question is why did they divorce?  What was the purpose
of divorce if they will continue to have sexual relations?  You say that the couple still love each other?  Then
what up with that?  What's the divorce for?  Yes, the couple is still sacramentally married, but their decision
to divorce would mean that they also decided to end all physical sexual relations. 

If they want to be faithful to themselves and to God, then they should end their divorce and reaffirm their marital
vows.  Until they do, their sexual relationship is sinful.  - Father Carlos Morales
 

"A Friend of mine was refused entry into a Catholic
Secondary School in the UK because the child was
not baptized before 6 months." - Onet

 

Dearest Father:

I have a question.  A friend of mine was refused entry into a Catholic secondary school in the UK because the
child was baptized before 6 months.  The reasons behind this was that she was awaiting papers from the home
office, as she is from the Philippines and she was unsure of her residence status.  Furthermore, she wanted all
her family to take part in this event but could not travel, due to the lack of papers.   She is and was a very devout
Catholic and her husband is too.  They have a second son who was baptized within the 6 months time frame.  But
the first was not, he was baptized after.  Also the mother suffered severe depression during the period she waited
for her papers.  My question is, does this brand her as a bad Catholic?  Where was it written that she has to bap-
tize in 6 months, when the apostles were baptized as adults, and furthermore the fact that she desperately
wanted her family to take part and was awaiting the papers, does this work against her decision to baptize later? 
How can she be branded not worthy of a Catholic School?  - Onet
_____________________________________________________________

Onet:
           

I must say, I am mystified by this situation that you described.  A baptized person is a Catholic no matter what the
age is, and the baptized person is free to be a student at a Catholic school.  I have no idea what the rationalization
for their decision not to accept this student is. The reason why the student wasn't accepted into the school must be
more that the student was baptized after 6 months of age.  There is more to this story that you do not know.  Any
Catholic baptized person can be accepted into a Catholic school.  I must conclude that there is another compelling
reason for the non-acceptance of this student into that school.  -  Father Carlos Morales

"I am a Hindu boy and I am in a relationship with a Catholic girl.
She wants me to become Catholic for the future of our children.  If
I am willing to become Catholic, can I be baptized or would this
be sinful?" - Arjun

Your excellencies: 

I am a Hindu boy but now I"m in a relationship with a Catholic girl.  She loves me and she wants me to change into
Catholic for the better future of our children.  If I am willing to change into Catholic, can I be baptized or is that any
kind of sin?  Please give me an instant reply after reading this email.  - Argun
___________________________________________________________
 

Argun:

If you are willing to leave behind your Hindu faith and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you can be bap-
tized and be saved according to Catholic Christian theology.  I know that you will think very deeply about this decision
to leave behind behind your Hindu faith, customs, traditions, family activities that involve Hindu worship of various deities,
and the Hindu thought process (theology).  

Once you accept being a Catholic Christian, you will leave behind all worship of the various deities of Hinduism.  You as a
Catholic will only worship one God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), and you will have Jesus Christ as your Lord and no one
else.  If you are willing to do that and truly believe only in Jesus Christ, then I welcome you.   There is only grace and joy in
God and salvation ensured by your new relationship with Jesus!  God bless and think clearly.  Are you ready to leave
Hinduism behind?  And what about your own family?  How will they react?   These are points that you need to think clearly.  
I hope you chose Jesus!  My prayers are with you this day. - Father Carlos Morales 

"My husband does not go to Church anymore and
this hurts me when I discovered his cell phone has many
porn sites on it.  And would a Catholic priest ever tell a man
that looking at porn is okay? - JD

Father: 

Would a Catholic Priest ever tell a man who looks at porn is okay?  My husband of 52 years has been addicted to
porn for some time.  He doesn't go to church with me anymore and that hurts me too but when I discovered his cell
phone has many porn sites on it, I was devastated.  I did suggest to him that he go to Penance at a church nearby
today.  When he came home he told me that the priest said it was okay to look at porn as long as he doesn't do any-
thing further.  What does that mean?  Now I am angrier than I was before...I don't even know if I can believe my
husband. Could he be purposely misunderstanding the priests words so that he doesn't feel any guilt or sorrow? 
Our marriage isn't the greatest but I would have never believed he would do this to me or to himself.  Ok.. Done
with my rant.  I guess I just don't understand why a priest would give a penitent the red light to continue in sin.  I'm
sorry.  I suppose this question is too long to expect an answer. Thank you.  A Sad wife. - JD
______________________________________________________________
 

JD:

As a confessor, I would NEVER advise anyone with an addiction to pornography to continue to feed his addiction.  
No, your husband must have heard or misinterpreted his priest-confessor.  

Addictions are serious human actions that get out of control of the addicted person.  Pornography is addictive be-
cause it causes the brain to actively seek pleasure and fantasy and then this process of seeking pleasure and fantasy
changes the brain neurons and chemical interaction between neurons to further cause the person to fall more deeply
in addiction.  Your husband needs an addiction intervention.  He needs the help of a therapist to get his addiction back
in his control.  He cannot overcome this addiction on his own.  He needs others, professional therapists, and he needs
Jesus Christ and the Holy Eucharist (holy communion) to overcome this addiction.

This addiction is not your fault.  You can punish yourself saying if you were more intimate or more "whatever," he
wouldn't be turning to pornography.  That is not true.  Your husband's pornography addiction is a deep seated pro-
blem within your husband and his own selfishness and narcissism.

It might be wise for you to seek a counselor FOR YOURSELF and talk about this situation with a professional.  You
need to understand the nuances of addiction so that you can deal with your husband.  You cannot change your husband.  
Only your husband can change himself.  People caught in the slavery of addiction will not easily accept counsel from those
around him.  So, don't blame yourself for your husband's addiction.  Please pray each day for your husband's deliverance
from this addiction.  Trust in God and do all you can to learn more about this type of addiction and find a way to help your
husband.  But if he doesn't want your help, you may need others in the family to help you confront your husband about this
issue.  You are in my prayers and thoughts this day.  -  Father Carlos Morales

FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM

"It is my understanding that the Blessed Mother was born without
original sin so that she could be the vessel for the Son of God.  So
if God made her without original sin why doesn't He make every
human without original sin? - Tom
 

Good morning, Father:

I'm a Catholic married to a non-denominational Christian.  Sometimes she has questions for me about Catholicism and
with references that answer them as best I can.   But some questions stump me.   For instance: it is my understanding
that the Blessed Mother was born without original sin so that she could be the vessel for the Son of God.  So if God
made her without original sin why doesn't He make every human without original sin?  Good one right?  You could help
me out with this I'd greatly appreciate it.  Thank you and God bless.  Respectfully, Tom

_____________________________________________________________

Hi there Thomas and good question: 

The Church’s teaching on Original Sin is a sound one based on human experience.  all have the propensity to sin. We
experience it in ourselves and see it at work in each other. Why didn’t God do things differently?  Perhaps God had too
much respect for human freedom and wanted us to have choices in the way we behave.  Our teaching about Original
sin is healthy and realistic.

Having said that, it is possible for a person like you and me to have original sin but never to sin.  That’s probably a bit of
a pipe dream of course given our track record, but we can say that this is possible for someone. 

When it came to Mary, the Church believes that she had to be free of all semblance of sin in order to carry God’s Word
for the rest of us.  It’s a tradition that grew up in the Church over time and developed to the point where the Church de-
cided it was true.  Mary’s perfection gives us something to aim at. In the meantime we struggle along and have the joy
of being victorious over our sinful self from time to time. I wouldn’t miss that challenge for the world.  Every blessing.
-  Father Kevin
 

In regards to abortion, I understand that the procedure is strictly
forbidden, but are there any circumstances  where abortion is
allowed or tolerated?  What would be the moral fallout for a
Catholic if they were to be forced to perform an abortion?"
             -   Lorrie

Dear Father:

I have currently came across a controversy regarding the Catholic Healthcare system and reproductive rights.  It is
my understanding that a Catholic hospital or Catholic affiliated hospital follows the Ethical and Religious Directives
set by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishop.  These Directives provide guidance on how to treat patients
according to the Catholic Church.  In regards to abortion,  I understand that the procedure is strictly forbidden, but are
there any circumstances  where abortion is allowed or tolerated?  I ask this because of the reported cases raining
controversy at Catholic hospitals where it is claimed that an abortion was necessary to save the life of the mother but
was not provided because of the Directives.  Further, doctors are protected by refusal laws in the U.S. from being
forced to perform procedures that go against moral beliefs.  But how would that affect their conscience?  I am not
a Catholic so any insight you could provide would be greatly appreciated in understanding the Catholic faith.  Thank
you. -  Lorrie
________________________________________________________________
 

Dear Lorrie: 

You raise a question around one of the more vexed moral issues of our time. I am an Australian and live in Sydney
and so am not privy to the legal caveats that may or may not apply to doctors  faced with these decisions in the US. 
If a Catholic doctor went ahead and performed an abortion, the question of his conscience would be strictly between
that doctor and God.  While he or she would be acting against Catholic teaching in doing so, none us is privy to the
pressures, the workings of the doctor’s on heart that led to the taking of that decision.  The doctor may choose to
discuss the matter with a priest following the event and would be offered appropriate pastoral care and forgiveness
should he or she ask for it. There is no way that the doctor’s belonging to the Church should be jeopardised.  We are
a Church of sinners, each of us struggling to learn and observe God’s good purposes.  Sometimes these purposes
are not as clear-cut as is sometimes imagined.  God’s first movement towards us is one of compassion, forgiveness
and healing when we stand before God as honestly as we can.  Every blessing to you Lorrie. -  Father Kevin

"I live in Malaysia and want to ask you about Filial Fear.
Does this mean God hurts when we offend Him? -  Christopher 


 

Father Kevin:

Shalom Friar!  I'm Christopher and I live in Malaysia.  I just want to ask you Father about filial fear.  "Fear of the Lord,
however, is more like the fear of a good child about causing hurt to his mother"   Does it mean God hurts when we
offend Him, or it just anthropomorphism? Thanks and God bless. -  Christopher
_______________________________________________________________

HI Christopher:

If I was asked to play a set of tennis against someone like Roger Federer, I would no doubt be shaking with fear and
feeling completely out of my depth.  If however, I was given front seat tickets to watch Federer play, I would not only
be delighted but filled with awe in the presence of such sporting greatness.

What we mean by Fear of the Lord is a more like my second situation than the first.  Being in God’s presence and
even getting  a tiny glimpse of what God is a bit like, leaves us in awe and wonder, almost like fear, but not quite.  Being
in the presence of unconditional love and knowing that love is for me, leaves me most aware of my sinful self and perhaps
in fear of being exposed. 
 
When I realise that this love is more than enough to forgive anything I have come up with, then fear is quickly replaced
by joyful wonder.  When we offend God we hurt ourselves.  God is perfectly fine and His happiness does not depend on
our good behaviour.  We can safely say that God aches for us to be happy. That is why He sent his Son to save us. I
hope this clears the air for you a bit.  Every blessing.  -  Father Kevin
 

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

"When we die do we meet our loved ones who
have died before us?  - Derek

CatholicView Staff:

When we die do we meet our loved ones who have died before us?  Will we recognize each other?   Thank you. - Derek
___________________________________________________________

Derek: 

I am assuming that your loved ones are believers in God, our Heavenly Father.  As a believer yourself, you will absolutely
meet and recognize each other and together you will live forever and ever.  It will be a wonderful meeting because there
will be no more suffering, sickness, and no more dying.  If your family meet the Lord  one glorious day, together you will
sit at the feet of Almighty God and Jesus, our Redeemer, Who paid for all our sins.  Glory be to God for His eternal love
for us.  -  CatholicView Staff

Is it a grievous offense if we were intimate with each other?"
 - Mary

CatholicView Staff:

I am a Catholic and a widow in my 70's. I recently began seeing a widower who is also in his 70s and Catholic. Is it a
grievous offense if we were to be intimate with each other? - Mary
______________________________________________________________

Mary:

Yes, it is a grievous offense to be intimate with each other without the bond of marriage.  As both of you are Catholic
Christians, you would be an offense to God. If you love each other, then you must marry. Intimate relations without
marriage is sinful in God's eyes. If you cannot exercise self-control, get married.  Read 1 Corinthians 7:2 "To the
unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise
self-control, they should marry.  For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion."

Please talk to your priest about your situation. - CatholicView Staff

"My Best Friend invited me to her wedding which will be a Goth
ceremony in Vegas on Halloween. The ceremony will include a
coffin and a person in a Dracula costume as an officiate.  
  Is attending the wedding wrong?"  Deborah

Father Carlos:

I was raised Catholic, and currently rediscovering my faith.  My best friend has invited me to her wedding which will be a 
goth ceremony in Vegas on Halloween.  The ceremony will include a coffin and a person in a Dracula costume as an
officiant.  My friend thinks its just Halloween fun.  So I am wondering if it would be wrong for me to attend this wedding.
Is attending a friend's Halloween wedding wrong?  Thanks for any reply, Deborah

__________________________________________________________

Deborah:

You know your heart and you know your own moral code that you live by.  If you feel that you attending this Halloween
marriage ceremony is uncomfortable or too weird for you, then you are free not to attend.  Please be true to your
principles.  I do feel, in my opinion, that making a marriage ceremony a Halloween farce means that they do not take
their marriage vows seriously.  They would not have a goth wedding in the Church.  My prediction: this civil goth-themed
marriage won't last long.  Marriage is a serious, cultural, and religious public act that represents God's love for us all.
True marriage is a sacrament.  Marriage is not to be trivialized in such a way.  - Father Carlos Morales

"My Mom requested to be cremated when she died.  We had a small
Catholic Church service and her ashes were blessed, etc.  My
brother and I took some of the ashes and we now feel
guilty.  Any advice?" - Laura

Father:
 

My mom died in 2010 and requested to be cremated-we had a small Catholic Church service where her ashes were
blessed etc - she had purchased a plot at the cemetery to have her ashes buried which we did.  My brother and I re-
moved some of her ashes to be kept for our own special reasons.  Mine are buried in my garden at the beach.
Neither of us knew this was against catholic teachings and we both are experiencing tremendous guilt!  Any advice
would be greatly appreciated- my brother has scattered his- sincerely,  - Laura
________________________________________________________________

Laura: 

Please be at peace.  There isn't much you can do about what happened in the past concerning the placement cremains
(ashes) of your beloved mother.  I understand why you wanted to have a relic of your mother always near you.  It is the
Church's teaching a believer's deceased body be buried or ashes set in one place in the belief that Jesus is coming at
the end of time to raise our mortal bodies from our graves.  Burying or placing cremains in one place is a sign that I am
awaiting the resurrection of the dead at the end of time.  But Jesus will find your mother and all will be reunited with her
GLORIFIED body.  Don't feel guilty.  Instead, feel grateful for your mother and for the coming resurrection from the dead
where there will be no more tears, sadness, suffering or pain! (see Revelation 21:4).  Jesus is Lord!  He is coming soon!  
Alleluia!  - Father Carlos Morales
 

"My son's father is a habitual and pathological liar. He has
been charged by the police with several financial crimes.
How do I raise a child with a man like this?"  Lindsay

Father:

I am seeking guidance on how best to understand a person in my life who is Catholic, and with whom I am involved in a
highly conflicted custody case for our son.  Over the course of our custody case he has lied extensively, falsified
evidence, and fabricated allegations.  He never takes responsibility for his sins. Instead he denies, makes excuses, and
shifts blames on to others. All the while quoting scripture.  So my question, how do I deal with someone who professes to
be a devout Christian but lives his life contradictory to Christian values.  When he denies his sins, he diminishes the cross.
When he avoids any guilt he diminishes CRUXIFIXION making it seem a fool's errand. In my mind, he conducts himself in
such a manner that the death of Christ seems unnecessarily cruel.  So how can he call himself a Christian?  How do I
raise a child with a man like this?  Thank you, Lindsay

______________________________________________________________

Lindsay: 

Well, it seems you understand your husband very well.  Catholic or not, you have correctly understood the situation with a
man who is a pathological liar.  You are also correct in saying that your husband's inability to accept responsibility for his
actions is diminishing the eternal value of the saving act of the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
is the bad news:  you cannot change your husband's pathology.  He can change himself, of course:  

We all have free will and we are in control of our destiny.  We all have free will and we are in control of our destiny.  Right
now, it seems he lives in his own pathological world of lies and crime.  We do not have control over others, so only your
husband can change himself and his inability to see the consequences of his evil actions.  But you can confront him about
his actions and show him the truth of the situation.  Just know that you cannot make him see it.  He is blinded by sin itself.  
That's why when we give our lives to Jesus as Lord and Savior, then we are no longer a slave to sin.  Your husband is
enslaved by his sins.

Everything you said in your question to me is correct.  You are an amazing spiritual person.  Obviously, you are wise and
have been guided by the Holy Spirit.   .  You said that he likes to quote scripture to throw you off and make him look good
or intelligent.  Well, even the devil himself can quote scripture to make himself look like telling the truth. An example of this
is seen in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 4.  Read it for yourself.  Here is the devil quoting scripture to Jesus!  So, your
husband can quote scripture to you all he wants.  It is just a ruse to confuse you and deflect the truth from him and his
actions.  Your husband is showing signs of mental and emotional and even illness.  Please understand that this is not your
fault, nor is your husband's posturing against the truth something that is acceptable.  He needs to accept responsibility for
all his actions.  

My advice:  pray, pray, pray for your husband's deliverance from this pathological world of lies and immaturity.  I am sure
that others have told you about getting into marriage counseling. That is all good and fine if your husband is willing to go
into counseling.  But if he doesn't want to, then you must do all you can to stay away from your husband, and if possible,
keep your child away from this destructive man.  You asked if I could give you insight how to deal with a Catholic man.  
Your question is clear.  You already understand this man.  Your husband claiming to be a Christian Catholic doesn't make
him right.  Instead, it shows how evil he has become.  Pray.  And protect your son and yourself in all ways,  even legally.
 - Father Carlos Morales