JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2015
Father Kevin: I have sinned today and I am ashamed, embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I had a moment of weakness, I met a woman some time ago and I lusted over her. My lust led to me almost betraying my wife. I stopped before anything happened. I was so caught up in the moment I wasn't thinking straight. Even though I stopped everything I feel horrible for betraying my beautiful wife, and the Lord, of course my wife doesn't know of my actions. I don't think it's in our best favor as a family to discuss this with her. I sinned the moment I lusted over her that I know. I feel absolutely horrible. What should I do, Father? I'm just a young man of age 23. I'm a chemical engineer and a devout Catholic. So it's not like I'm stupid, I just don't know what came over me. It's so unlike me to even look at another woman. The other woman and I didn't lay together, in fact we didn't even touch. I arrived at her house earlier in the night and it hit me like a brick "what am I doing!" I explained to the other woman that I could not continue talking to her and apologized. After that I promptly left, full of guilt and sorrow. Please, any guidance will go a long way in this time of dishonorment and shame for me. - Kevin
______________________________________________ Thank you for your question. The experience you describe is a very common one. Whatever our commitments, however deep our faith, we are, each of us, still prone to sin. It’s only natural that we feel attraction to someone who is not our partner in life. When it comes to lusting after this person, that’s where our sin kicks in. It’s expression of the Original Sin that is part of all our hearts. When we act on that lust, then the sin is compounded of course. In your case, you have done exactly what a good person of faith will do. You have recognised the temptation, fallen into it at least in your intention, and then you have come to the realisation that acting on this impulse would only make things worse. You have expressed sorrow and remorse for what you may have longed to do. All’s that’s left now is to let go and trust in God’s unconditional mercy. God knows exactly how we are made and understands perfectly well our temptations and the likelihood that we will give in to them. That is why Jesus comes to offer us healing, hope, and salvation from our sinful selves. God has no trouble forgiving us. It sounds from your letter that you are having some trouble forgiving yourself. I think that is where your next little project is. Allow God to forgive you and then forgive yourself. It can take time to get over the feelings of humiliation and shame, so you’ll need to be patient with yourself. I’m sure you are familiar with the old cliché: Forgive and Forget. Well, a wise old woman once told me that it was important to “Forgive and Remember!” Otherwise, she said, we might go back and do the same thing all over again. Our sins are a wonderful opportunity for God to show off how merciful He is. They are also often enough our times of best and deepest learning. God bless you in your life and your marriage and in this time of healing and recovery of some peace in your heart. I will continue to hold you in my prayers. - Father Kevin
Father Kevin: I was brought up a Catholic, then I lost God. I found God via a nondenominational church, but I have felt I should return to the Catholic Church as well, can I do both ? I never have taken communion in other churches. - Kerry _________________________________________________ Hi Kerry, Thanks very much for your question. God can find us, as you’ve discovered in many and varied ways and often in some surprising places. Let’s thank God for that Church community where you were able to discover something of God for yourself. I’m sure you will be most welcome back at your local Catholic community. There is no reason at all why you should not maintain the friendship, the fellowship and the sharing of faith you found with the other church community. You may well bring something lovely and fresh to your Catholic community as a result, and maybe even become part of some healing of the broken Body of Christ. Every blessing to you. - Father Kevin
Father Kevin: If a person dies without receiving baptism, can this person go to heaven? Jesus did say that no one goes to the Father except through him, and unless we are born of water and the Spirit we cannot enter the Kingdom of God. Thank you. - Marie ____________________________________________________ Dear Marie, Thanks for your question. The Catholic Church has always taught that if a person dies without having been baptised, it is still possible for that person to find their way home to the Father. The Church speaks of a “baptism of desire”, in which a person can be saved if they have felt in their hearts a certain longing for God but have not acted on it. Along the same lines, the Constitution on the Church in the Modern World from the Second Vatican Council, teaches that any of goodwill can be saved. In other words if one has live an honourable life and done one’s best to life lovingly, then God’s mercy would take care of that person. All good wishes to you. - Father Kevin
Father Francisco: ______________________________________________ Nick: The Christian message is about how Jesus Christ, through complete obedience to His Father's Will (through his life, death, and resurrection), achieved justification, salvation, and eternal life for all human beings who accept that gift of reconciliation and peace through faith. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus said clearly: (Luke 24:46) "Thus it is written that the Messiah would suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and that repentance for the forgiveness of sins, would be preached in His Name to all nations, beginning in Jerusalem." So, the Church and all its Christian members are driven to preach about the obedience of Christ in contrast to the complete disobedience of Adam and Eve (through which we have sin, suffer pain, and death), and through Jesus, we have forgiveness and peace, salvation and life eternal.It is imperative that all nations hear of the reconciliation that Jesus accomplished between God and humankind, and live in that reconciliation. The prophet Jeremiah in the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) saw this future of humankind when he wrote: (Jeremiah 31:33) "But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord. I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts, and they shall be My people. No longer will they have need to teach their friends and kinsmen how to know the Lord. All, from the least to the greatest, shall know me, says the Lord, for I will forgive their evildoing and remember their sin no more." That is the Christian message in a nutshell (as repeated in the Letter to the Hebrews in the Christian Scriptures -- the New Testament -- in Hebrews 10:16-17). So, what about those, you ask, that have not heard the message of Jesus Christ and are not made aware of Christ's ultimate and uniquely one sacrifice on the cross? Saint Paul, in his letter to the Romans (Romans 2:12-16), answered this question in this way: "For it is not those who hear the law who are just in the sight of God; rather, those who observe the law will be justified. For when the Gentiles (unbelievers) who do not have the law by nature observe the prescriptions of the law, they are a law for themselves even though they do not have the law. They show that the demands of the law are written in their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even defend them on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge people's hidden works through Christ Jesus." It is very clear, then, that God has written His law and commandments in our hearts. The Law of God is something called by the Church natural law. The message of the gospel of Christ educates us to the mystery of God's life within my very heart and soul. Yet, those who have not the gospel of Christ are still going to be judged by how they have followed the Law of God written in their hearts. For, we are, by nature, moral human beings by God's design. And our acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior opens my eyes, mind, and heart, my whole being, to the reconciliation of God and the destruction of the power of sin and negativity in my life. For those who have not heard and had the chance to accept the gospel of Christ, salvation and reconciliation is still theirs through Jesus Christ (and ONLY through Jesus Christ) by following the dictates of God's commandments written in their hearts. That's why we have a conscience that keeps us always honest to those dictates written in my soul. Those who are not Christian will be judged accordingly by God (and Christians will be judged by our knowledge of the gospel of Christ). As for the mission of the Church to preach about Jesus to the ends of the earth, we cannot sit back and allow the ignorance of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice of total obedience to exist. All must hear and have the chance to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and achieve the fullness of their divine potential. The Church and its members could just sit and trust (being spiritually lazy) that God will save all those who follow the dictates of the Law of God written in their hearts without specific knowledge of Jesus as Lord. And God will save all who love Him no matter what. But we have been commanded and charged by Jesus to preach to all nations. Spiritual laziness is contrary to the command of Christ to share what we as Christians have experienced: the love and salvation of God. And that is a dictate of God written in my heart through my faith in Him. I must follow his command. I have no choice. Saint Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:14-15: "For the love of Christ impels us, once we have come to the conviction that One died for all, therefore all have died. He indeed died for all, so that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised." So, even though God is the ultimate judge of all human beings, the preaching mission of the Church continues until all have had the chance to seek union with God in Jesus Christ. By the love of Christ, we are impelled (compelled, driven) to fulfil the command to preach to all nations what we have received through faith: salvation and eternal love and life. Hope this helps. May the Lord bless you abundantly. - Father Francisco
Father Cervantes: Could you, please, help me with very important for my question: Can Catholic get married Christian of other denomination?For example: Can the Catholic male get married Orthodox Christian Female? Thank you in advance. - Olga _____________________________________________________ Olga: The quick answer to your question is yes. Yes, a Catholic and an Orthodox Christian can get married in either the Catholic Church or the Orthodox Church. Now, either church will demand a dispensation for either party to be sacramentally married in the Church. The requirements for either apostolic church include a promise that the children born of the marriage be baptized in the churches of each party, which means that if you marry in the Catholic Church, the Catholic Church will expect and ask you to sign a promise that the children be baptized in the Catholic Church. The same if the couple decide to marry in the Orthodox Church, with the Orthodox Church expecting that the children would be baptized in the Orthodox Church. You will have to make a decision on which Church you want to be married in. Not having your marriage solemnized in either church is unacceptable by either church. The Catholic party can more easily receive a dispensation to marry in the Orthodox Church than an Orthodox party can get such a dispensation from the Orthodox Church to marry in the Catholic Church. Both churches prefer and strongly suggest that anyone wanting to marry in the Church that you chose a marital partner that shares your faith. Differing religious beliefs can be a cause of great tension in marriage, especially when it comes to children. Consider this carefully. May the Lord guide you. - Father Cervantes
Father Francisco: It's been over one year since our marriage in the Catholic Church. I have observed my wife on several occasions talking to her ex boyfriend to which I expressed reservation. Twice when I told her not to she became violent and I responded by slapping her and throwing her out of the house as I was in drunken stupor of which I repent. I also exposed their affair on FaceBook. Are my actions grounds for annulment? - Johan _______________________________________________________ Johan:
I am really alarmed by your reaction to your wife maintaining
communication with an ex-boyfriend. Your actions betray your
immaturity and inability to handle this as a Christian man. You say
that you "exposed their affair on Facebook." Talking to someone
doesn't mean that there was an affair going on. Your sacramental
marriage is forever and cannot be broken. If you believe that your
marriage is not truly a sacramental marriage, then you must present
your case before a Church marriage tribunal (court) and present
evidence that proves that your marriage was somehow flawed from the
beginning and that the marriage was not of God.
Father Francisco If a Protestant person marries another Protestant, can the marriage be considered invalid if there is later found to be no record of their baptism? I am considering seeking an annulment and joining the Catholic church, but I am divorced and very young and would want to pursue marriage in the future. - Ashley ___________________________________________ Ashley:
I am happy to know that you seek full communion with the Catholic
Church. Praise God! As to the validity of your marriage in a
Protestant congregation, your marriage would be considered
sacramentally valid unless proven otherwise. The Catholic Church
recognizes all marriages of people not members of the Catholic
Church to be sacramentally valid, even if there is no record of a
person's Christian baptism. But when you become a Catholic, another
process happens concerning your previous marriage: a dissolution of
your marriage by a biblical privilege granted to those who become a
believer when their first marital partner was not a believer.
Father Francisco: Can a mortal sin be committed if you had no idea there was such a thing as a mortal sin and you did not know the affects of it, which may mean I did not have full knowledge. ((I suffer from scrupulosity) - Daniel _________________________________________ Daniel: I am grateful to God that you continue to find your peace in Jesus Christ despite your heavy cross of scrupulosity. This kind of obsession of making sure that things are correct morally (and religiously) can really cause great unrest in a person's soul. Jesus loves you no matter what. Focus on His love for you and not on any perceived wrongdoing on your part. For a mortal (deadly) sin to be committed (as described in I John 5:16-17), these three conditions must exist: 1) Must be of grave a serious matter; 2) must be committed with full knowledge; 3) Mortal sin must be committed with deliberate and full free consent. If you "had no idea there was such a thing as a mortal sin," then no mortal sin was committed on your part even though there may be serious consequences to the action done. But now you know that there is such a thing as mortal sin, you will be held accountable for your actions by God and those around you. But, knowing that you struggle with scrupulosity, please remember and focus on the love and mercy of God which is more important than the tricks your mind can play on you in regards to all your actions. I pray that you can use the energy that you spend on your scruples to focus on the face of God Who only smiles with great love when He serenely sees you. God bless you. - Father Francisco
Father Cervantes: I have a
condition which may require an operation to fix. However, the
operation is somewhat crippling. May I _________________________________________________ Doug: I do not know what kind of surgery you seek to deny yourself. You may refuse any medical procedure that is considered "extraordinary," as defined as any medical procedure or measure which, when administered to a terminally ill patient, will only prolong the process of dying when death is imminent, excluding palliative care. You did not mention that you are considered a "terminally ill patient." Instead, you say that not accepting this surgery may result in an early death. Therefore, you are not considered terminally ill at this time in your life. So, this surgery is not considered an extraordinary means of preserving your life. As Catholic Christian, you may refuse the surgery but you will need to make sure that this surgery would be considered an extraordinary medical procedure as described in the first part of this answer. May the Spirit of God guide you in all your decisions and may the Spirit of God open your mind to the gift that is your life. Preserve what God has given to you for His Plan which is much larger than you. - Father Cervantes
Father Francisco: My question is about confession. I am in my late 50's. I have committed so many sins through out my life. I am not sure how to confess all the sins I have committed. I am closer to God now and my life has become much more faithful. Thank you! - Joe _______________________________________________ Joe: When you participate in the Sacrament of Penance (confession) and you make a general confession (which means that you present the sins of your entire life), you may not remember every sin and every act of not fulfilling the gospel of Christ. In a general confession, start by saying that you haven't been to confession for many years and that you desire to make a general confession and want to start again. Let the priest-confessor guide you. You can just start with going through the ten commandments. Take a copy of the commandments with you and just say what major sins you committed under each commandment. You don't have to say the details, just mention how you broke that particular commandment. If the priest has any questions, he will ask you.
I rejoice in the Lord that now you have become a faithful person in
Jesus Christ. Rejoice in the Lord! Rejoice in His mercy and love.
Rejoice that you can begin again. How blest you are! Be peaceful.
Your general confession will be a moment of reconciliation and
spiritual healing in the Lord. -
Father Francisco
Can a Catholic person financially support a Protestant ministry that helps children in poverty internationally? - L.M. _________________________________________________ L.M.
The answer is simple: yes. Of course, the Church asks that you
check out any organization that does this kind of work to make sure
that the organization isn't using your donations to act against the
Catholic Church. The Catholic Church has poverty programs that also
help young people around the world. CATHOLIC CHARITIES USA is one
of them. Here is their web site for your information:
http://catholiccharitiesusa.org/.
May the Lord bless you greatly for what you are doing for poverty
stricken children. - Father Francisco
Father Francisco: A family friend was in an abusive marriage and was being beaten by her husband. She applied for an annulment and was granted one. I thought this could not be done as it was a legal, consummated marriage with a child? Is she still married in God's eyes? - Isla _______________________________________________________ The annulment decision by a church tribunal states definitively that your family friend was NEVER married in God's eyes. Let's look at what the bible says in regards to the indissolubility of a sacramental marriage in Matthew 19:4-11: "Therefore what God has joined, no one must separate." The question that the marriage tribunal tries to answer in regards to an annulment case is: did God join this marriage? Not all marriages are joined by God, nor by God's Will. Not every marriage is a sacramental marriage. Here is what a Christian marriage is all about as described in Ephesians 5:31-32: "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak in reference to Christ and His Church." That means that the marriage of a man and a woman represents the love of Christ for His Church.This is clearly described in Revelation 21:1-2: "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." The new Jerusalem is the Church, the body of all believers in Jesus Christ, and the groom for the bride is Jesus Christ Himself. A sacramental marriage between one man and one woman is literally the living symbol of Christ's marriage to His Church. In a sacramental marriage, solemnized in the Church through the sacrament of holy matrimony, husband and wife represent the love of Christ for us all. To take on this special vocation of holy matrimony, both parties must be ready to love and sacrifice for one another as Christ has sacrificed all in love for His Church, us, and be free and open for the procreation of children for the greater glory of God. From what you described, your family friend was in an physically abusive civil marriage that in NO WAY represented in any form the love of Christ for His Church. And even though they had children, all they had was a civil marriage, not a sacramental, God-willed and God-planned marriage.
In canon law, the Church outlines the
conditions for a God-joined marriage, therefore a unbreakable
sacramental marriage. These conditions must be met before a
sacramental unbreakable marriage can be contracted. You can study
these conditions as described TITLE 7 of the Sacramental Canon Law
on Marriage (here is the link and there are several pages to look
through:
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3V.HTM ).
Father Cervantes: When I had a massive heart attack 8 years ago, the priest in the hospital anointed me but never gave me a chance to confess my sins. Does the anointing of the sick absolve you from your sins? - Christopher ___________________________________________________ Christopher:
Eight years ago, through the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick,
God started the healing process that gave you life today! You were
healed physically by God's love and mercy for you. And through that
same sacrament, you
were
also spiritually healed from all your sins committed before that
anointing of oil. Here is what the scriptures say, in James
5:13-16:
"Is anyone among you
suffering? He should pray. Is anyone in good spirits? He should
sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? He should summon the
presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint
him with oil in the name of the Lord, and the prayer of faith will
save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has
committed any sins, he will be forgiven."
It is quite clear from scripture that when you were anointed with
oil through the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick (called
Extreme Unction), your sins were automatically forgiven! The priest
who anointed you with oil in the name of the Lord probably could not
physically hear your confession with the medical personnel around
you when you had your massive heart attack. Nonetheless, you
will healed through this sacrament and your sins were forgiven. How
blest you are! And how marvelous is the mercy of God! Rejoice in
the Lord and please, give testimony of God's healing in your life
through the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick! Be at peace.
- Father
Cervantes
Father:
I have recently started to date a
man that's Roman Catholic. Generally he is a very nice guy and we
get along extremely well. There is one thing that is weighing on me
about him though and that's his past. I've always been a strong
Roman Catholic girl and within that lived my life with the mentality
that I'd like to wait until marriage and I've always expected that
from my future partner (whoever that may turn out to be). This man
however, although had been raised with that mentality, has not lived
his life that way throughout his late teens and twenties. To be
fair, he has recently (in the past 2 years) changed his way of life
and wants to live a religious life and as part of that, wait until
marriage. His argument is that while he recognizes his past, he is
not proud of it, and was never "completely there" in his previous
relationships. I don't know whether it's something with me, but
even though he is in a good place now, I just can't seem to forget
about his past. Is this normal? Should I break it off? Or should
I try and struggle through until I can accept that part of his
life? I am torn between two elements - I feel like I wouldn't be
true to myself if I let myself continue in this relationship, and
yet I also feel like he is a great man who is going out of his way
to make me happy - even if that involves having the hard
conversations about his previous relationships. I would appreciate
some advice on my dilemma. I am at a loss with what to do and some
advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Ania Ania I am saddened that you find yourself in this dilemma. As you said, you are torn between your "love" for this man and his past sinfulness. But I don't get it. What part of "sinner", and we are all "imperfect" before the Lord, that you do not understand? He has said that he has changed his way of life and is no longer the sinner that he was in the past. And where is your Christian call to forgive all so that all might live in peace? You say that "I don't know whether it's something with me, but even though he is in a good place now..." Even you acknowledge that "he is in a good place." True love and true forgiveness means that you live in the present and not in the past. God does not "live in the past," for if He did, we all be in trouble and never see salvation. But as long as you say and believe that "should I struggle through until I can accept that part of his life," and "I feel like I wouldn't be true to myself if I let myself continue in this relationship," then your relationship with this man is set for failure. If you truly believe that you would compromise your very self in this relationship, then break it off. This relationship and your expectations of this relationship will be the cause of much pain and disillusionment if you don't break it off. But I am mystified by your reaction to his past (you'd probably judge me as a bad priest if you knew my past before my acceptance of Jesus as the center of my life and my ordination). Before you make any decision about the future of this relationship, please read the story of the Prodigal Son in the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 15, Verses 11 through 32. The story so clearly describes how God deals with us when we turn our backs on our sinful past and live for Him in the present (and how we should treat others). But as long as you feel that you would struggle through in your relationship, then there is no hope for any future with this good man who has left his sinful past behind. There is probably another man out there who would fit your criteria that you set for a future relationship that would lead to marriage. Think careful about your decision. Please pray about it. - Father Cervantes
Father: I'm an artist who sells over the internet. I don't make a lot of money. The artwork I draw is of the sexual manner. I'm not Catholic, but Baptist and firmly believe in God and accept Christ. I'm really just trying to get by. Is what I'm doing a sin? That is creating artwork that is of the pornographic nature? The art is all hand drawn, no one else is involved. - Rex ______________________________________________________ Rex: In the Catholic Church, we have a term in our prayer called the Act of Contrition (a formal prayer asking forgiveness of our sins). As we pray that formal prayer, we ask the Lord to help us "to avoid the near occasions of sin." You say that you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, but your actions betray your sinfulness in providing through your Internet business the "near occasions of sin" for others as well as for yourself. Your mind and heart are not in the Spirit of the Lord. To make such pornographic and sexually suggestive pictures, you must dwell in a impure imagination to make such pictures that would cause an impure reaction in the one who buys your drawn by hand pictures. I am reminded of Saint Paul's letter to the Galatians, Chapter 6, Verses 7-8: "Make no mistake. God is not to be mocked, for a person will reap only what he sows, because the one who sows for his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but one who sows for the spirit will reap eternal life from the spirit." Through your pornographic and sexually suggestive work, you are sowing seeds of sin and corruption in yourself and others and you are mocking God by saying you believe in Jesus and yet do not act as if you are living in Jesus. Where is that faith you have in Jesus? Did you throw it out the window when it comes to business? In I Corinthians, Chapter 6, Verses 17-20, Saint Paul writes so clearly, "But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Avoid immorality.....do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not his own? For you have been purchased with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body." You are mocking God by drawing the "temples of the Holy Spirit," human bodies created by God in His Image, for sexual immorality. You are drawing others into "near occasions of sin," sowing seeds of immorality, and therefore your actions will only be harvested as the cause of sin in others. Your actions have consequences and you will be judged accordingly. Are you so blind as not to see what you are doing for money, no matter how small the amount, and how that will destroy others in their walk of faith? May I suggest that you read this article about living a pure life in the Lord according to your evangelical tradition (and in which I can say AMEN to it)http://www.evangelicaloutreach.org/keep-yourself-pure.htm . I hope this article will convict you to change your life and repent of your impurity. Time to have your heart re-orientated back to God through Christ the Lord. Your "art work" is the product of sin, your sin, and produces in others sin and its evil consequences. Matthew 5:48 - "So be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." Please think very carefully about what you are doing. - Father Francisco
CatholicView Staff: A friend asked when Lent officially started. I told her that it started at midnight on Ash Wednesday, but another friend said it didn't begin until she received her ashes. Which is correct? - Chari ________________________________________________ Chari: In regards to the start of the Lenten Season, Lent begins at midnight of Ash Wednesday. Lent doesn't start with the imposition of ashes which is a spiritual symbol of repentance, Lenten discipline and spiritual exercising. Some people cannot receive ashes on Ash Wednesday for various reasons, yet they are expected by the Church to participate in the Lenten spiritual disciplines with or without the imposition of ashes. Also fasting for both Ash Wednesday and Good Friday begin at midnight. So, your friend is incorrect. Ash Wednesday and Lent begins at midnight of Ash Wednesday. God bless you! - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I'm 58 and a family man. Never been in trouble. Stole something and do not know why I did it. I am scared an ashamed and feel so alone. I have to go to court. I'm not a bad person. Please pray for me as I am battling depression too. Thank you. God bless - Jerry ________________________________________________________ Jerry: I am saddened
to hear of your situation. I know that you too, are so sorry and
ashamed of your action. But God knows your heart and has forgiven
you for what you did. Here is a prayer for you: Jerry, know that our God has already heard your plea. He loves you and forgives you. It is up to you to make your peace with Him and the Church during this Lenten season. I will be adding my prayer for you. And may the Lord give you peace that only He can give. God bless you always - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My girlfriend is rather concerned lately about intimacy. Sometimes she loves being close to me and fantasizing about passionate things, and other times she insists I remain a foot away from her and only look at her. I believe that it is possible to be intimate and still keep your faith sin free. What do you think is acceptable for intimacy and passion in the eyes of God, in both mind and body? - Robbie __________________________________________________ Robbie: You are to be praised for trying to keep your faith sin free which means you are strong in the faith. BUT, remember too much closeness can lead into sinful behavior. From your email, I am assuming that your girlfriend is trying to "avoid the occasion of sin". Have you asked her why she wants you to remain a foot away from you? Perhaps she knows and wants to keep your relationship pure. When you say it is possible to be intimate and sin free, how do you plan to do this? Intimacy is heightened when one becomes INTIMATE as you say. It is a human reaction. This you must avoid if you plan to remain pure. Save these feelings until you are married. Continue to be sin free in your relationship. God will always give you the strength to remain pure. Please pray about this. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My 14 year old daughter admitted to us last night that she has had sex with her 13 year old boyfriend twice. She was very distraught and apologetic and said it wouldn't happen again. It occurred at her boyfriend's house, when parents were home, but the parents didn't know. All parents are aware now. My daughter is an athlete, and hopes to continue athletics in college. She also is very active in our local parish, and will be going to NCYC in November. I'm not sure what to do with her at this point. Please help. ____________________________________________________ Todd: As a parent, I
am sure you already know that children of age 14 are vulnerable to
the sexual changes in their bodies. It is a time that these
feelings of sex begin to heighten greatly and the parents must
intervene and talk to their children.
But what is
really important is to keep the lines of communication open between
you and your daughter.
But first, let
me say that I am impressed that your daughter talked to you frankly
about her first sexual experiences. This shows that she trusts you
and can be open to you with such personal and secretive events in
her life. Thank you for being such open and understanding parents. I am pleased to hear that your daughter is very active in your local parish, and this is admirable. And you write that your daughter is an athlete and wants to pursue this in college. But these are things that she might find a hindrance if she continues having sex, perhaps get a disease, or become pregnant. But you know that and so does she. Be careful of being judgmental or condemning, but at the same time, you must be clear and strong in our Christian value of purity and staying away from sexual immorality that can destroy all her future plans. Just keep talking, and keep sharing the values of the gospel of Christ. Time to have that sex talk and bring in the Lord into your conversation. But please know that I give thanks to God that your daughter could be so open to you about her sexuality. You are on the right road in regards to communication. Keep praying for your daughter that she may always have the Spirit of God guiding her in all her life decisions with your guidance and help. God be with you always. - CatholicView Staff
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