OCTOBER/NOVEMBER
2015
ASK A PRIEST
QUESTIONS AND
ANSWERS
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER LAZARUS CHAWDI
PRIEST STAFF
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
"I
am Catholic and married a Lutheran who
is divorced. My priest advised me to marry
in the Lutheran Church and leave the paperwork
with him. Can you help me?" Mary Ann
Father Kevin:
I'm a 62 yr old
Catholic, widowed 7 yrs ago. I met a Lutheran who was divorced
from another Lutheran. I went to my priest who advised me to get
married in the Lutheran Church and leave all the paperwork with
him, come back after we were married and have my husband file
for annulment.
When we married my husband refused to go through an annulment
process, said it's nobody's business. We are married 4 yrs but
from day one it wasn't good. I feel I'm in limbo! We live like
brother/sister instead of a married couple but he refuses to
leave. I don't know what to do and I'm
afraid to go to a priest because he might tell me I'm outside
the church. I won't stay away from my faith. Thank you for any
help and God Bless,
- Mary Ann
_______________________________________________________________
Dear Mary Ann:
God never wants us to live in a prison, or a state of ongoing
unhappiness. You are certainly not “outside the Church” as you
put it. No one is beyond
the reach of God’s mercy, which is the part of the point of this
Year of Mercy that Pope Francis has begun this week. I hope can
find a priest with enough pastoral sensitivity to welcome you
and work through your issues with you. I suppose you need to
reflect on why you remain in the marriage
and weigh up the pros and cons involved in leaving the
relationship. From your short description, you are not happy at
all. Life is short enough, and given your age, important
decisions become a bit more urgent. I will continue to pray for
you and if I can be of any further help, you are most welcome to
contact me directly. Every blessing Mary Ann, - Father
Kevin
"I
married in a Russian Orthodox Church 50 years ago.
I am back to the Catholic Church. Shall I have my
marriage blessed? - Barbara
Father Kevin:
I
was married in a Russian Orthodox Church over 50 years ago. I
have come back to the Catholic Church. Do I have to have my
marriage blessed in the Catholic Church for me to receive the
sacraments? - Barbara
____________________________________________________________
Dear Barbara:
Your question is a
simple one really. The Catholic Church recognises the validity
of sacraments in the Orthodox Church and vice versa. The
question you raise is one of Church discipline. Pope Francis
recently in conversation with a Lutheran woman suggested that
since we all have one baptism, that we make that our starting
point, take ourselves into the Lord’s company, spend time with
Him and then see what happens.
Our laws are there
for a purpose, but their purpose is not to make life burdensome
for people. You should be welcome to approach the Sacraments
right now. A conversation with a priest who is wise and
sensitive to your story might help. Every blessing, -
Father Kevin
"My husband told me he no longer loved me. We
have 3 children with one disabled. What shall
I do?" - Laura
Father Kevin:
I
have a few questions for you and I'm hoping you can help me.
I
am a 45 year old Catholic woman. Married for 20 years with three children.
One of them is severely disabled. About eight years ago my
husband announced he was no longer in love with me and has since
refrained from
having intimate relationship with me. I am crushed and
heartbroken. I feel I am living a lie when surrounded by
family and friends and I am still
very much in love with him. I have been nothing but
supportive and loving, despite his cold heart. He wants to
stay married for the sake of the vows
and the children. Out of sheer loneliness, once or twice a
year I resort to masturbation and feel exceedingly guilty beyond
words afterwards. I have promised Jesus I will not sin
ever again in this way, but have fallen away again more than
once. Will He forgive me for breaking this promise? Or
will He punish me? I have confessed this sin and repented
but the guilt I have is unbearable. Also, I believe Our
Blessed Lady has granted me healing of a physical ailment. I
begged for this healing and promised her I would be pure and no
longer sin, but I recently broke this promise again. Will she
also punish me by taking back the miracle she procured? I feel
lost and alone. Lonely mom in New York. –
Laura
____________________________________________________________________
Dear Laura:
How sad you find
yourself in this unhappy situation. This week we begin the
Jubilee Year of Mercy. I suggest you focus yourself on God’s
tenderness and mercy when you are faced with the occasional
episodes of masturbation or any other behaviour that disturbs
your peace. The God of mercy knows how we are made. God Knows
well our need for comfort and love. That’s how he made us!!
Punishment, anger and such doesn’t enter God’s mind. You are
living your life heroically and as lovingly as you can in the
face of a loveless relationship.
God bless you in that and take heart in God’s mercy. I reckon
that through your suffering, you are becoming daily closer to
the heart of God. Being patient and forgiving towards our self
is always one of our hardest tasks, but it’s worth a go! Let
God’s Mercy look after you and may God bless you in your love
and care for your children. - Father Kevin
CATHOLICVIEW PRIEST STAFF
"Is it
permissible to have a Children’s Christmas
play during Mass?" - Carol
Father Francisco:
Is it permissible to have a Children’s Christmas (short) play
during Mass? If before or after Mass . .before opening prayer?
After Communion or after closing prayer? And lastly . . . is it
permissible to act out or have a skit for THAT Sunday’s Gospel,
that would replace the homily or at that time of the homily?
Thank you! - Carol
___________________________________________________________
Carol:
In the
liturgical rhythm of the Mass, such plays or dramas should be
done before or after Mass is complete, which means that a
children's play should happen before the processional hymn (the
actual beginning) or after the closing prayer of the Mass and
before the final blessing. In a children's Mass (that is a Mass
that is dedicated to children using the Eucharistic prayers
designed for children's Masses), the gospel can be dramatized
but cannot replace the homily. Merry Christmas and may the Lord
bless your efforts in making wonderful memories for those who
participate in your dramatic presentations.
- Father Francisco
"What is money usury and is it sinful?"
- Jemma
Father Francisco:
I am a 20 year old Catholic
and I have never heard much about the sin of usury. I have
recently looked into the issue and I have heard different things
from different people - that all interest is sinful, that
interest should only be applied to cover handling fees, or that
interest is ok so long as it isn’t really high (like loansharks)
because the nature of money and our economic system has changed
over the years.
If all interest is a sin,
then is it a sin to have my money in a bank account where I get
a very small amount of interest? And can Catholics morally
take out loans that have interest? Thanks for your help, it is very
appreciated. - Jemma
____________________________________________________________
Jemma:
Usury is
described as the practice of lending money with high interest
rates. The Old Testament is filled with admonitions about
lending money with the demand of interest.
In Exodus
22:24, one of the commandments of the Lord is this:
If you lend money to one of your poor neighbors among my people,
you shall not act like an extortioner toward him by demanding
interest from him.
The only reference to usury in the New Testament is Jesus' words
from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 6, Verse 35:
Love your enemies and do
good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward
will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for He
Himself is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful just
as also your Father is merciful.
Yet, Jesus
Himself used in the parable of the talents use of interest as a
good thing in Matthew 25:27:
Should you not then have put my
money in the bank so that I could have got it back with interest
on my return? Now then, take the talent from him and give it to
the one with ten!
In this parable, Jesus was making the point that God has given
to each of us talents and gifts for the glory of God, and that
our gift of life should give a "return" to the Creator Father.
It is clear that basic interest as part of the business of a
bank is not sinful, and interest is expected as part of the
business of finance. But when people demand high interest, it
is then that this practice of high interest becomes greed and
sinful. Jesus at no time spoke about gaining interest as sinful
though Jesus says that we should lend without expecting anything
in return when you and I deal individually with someone in
need. Jesus did not say that banks and financial institutions
should not charge interest. He was only talking about how we
treat one another individually.
So,
in this regards, the Church
has always taught against the practice of usury especially in
regards to the poor. But the cost of lending money by banks and
financial institutions is expected and not sinful. As
Christians, we can leave our money in the bank to receive
interest, we can invest our money in retirement funds without
any concern that it is sinful. We can also take out loans
because that is a free will decision we make for whatever
reason, though I pray that each person that takes out a loan is
responsible and mature in their reason for a loan. But in our
relationships with each other, there is the expectation that we
don't treat those in need as though we are banks and financial
institutions because we are not. We are individual Christians
answering the needs of our brothers and sisters in need. As a
side note, taking out a loan without the intention of paying
back that loan is considered stealing and is equally sinful as
usury. -
Father Francisco
Someone told me he had committed a serious crime.
Should I report it to the police?" - Rnevsimal
Farther
Cervantes:
Someone told me
he had committed a very serious crime. All I have is hearsay
and I'm not sure because he might have been bragging instead of
having really done it. Do I need to report it to the police?
I'm not even sure if the crime occurred. - Rnevsimal
___________________________________________________________
Rnevsimal:
We all
have the Christian responsibility to report any crime that is
considered, as you say, very serious. I consider murder, bank
robbery, breaking into houses and businesses, gang
activity, illegal drug dealing especially to minors' sexual
crimes, and human trafficing as just some of the major crimes
that need to be reported to the police. Let the police figure
out the details through their investigations. You don't have
the burden of proving anything, since that is the job of law
enforcement. But if someone is saying to you that they
committed a major crime, then you have the moral obligation to
make a report. The police will find out if it is the truth.
- Father Cervantes
"I am in need of
help. I am afraid I will be
thrown into hell. Can you help me?" Rena
Father Francisco:
I really need advice
from someone of the same religion, a priest, to tell me what I
should do. I am much too afraid to approach the priests at my
church in person. I really hope I won't be ignored. Please, or
if you know where else I can post this for help please do tell
me.
Well, I have been
suffering from masturbation addiction since I was around 9, and
when I was about 14, I started watching porn. I am still
addicted to porn and masturbation till now, and I do not know
how to stop. The longest I can go is perhaps a month. Anyway I
have had hearing loss in my left ear since I was young, and when
I was 14, my right ear too started to mysteriously lose its
hearing and I had to wear hearing aids in both ears. I am not
sure if this is the result of my sins from watching porn since
it happened around the time I started watching. Now I'm 19, and
my hearing became even worse that I might have to go for a
cochlear implant surgery.
When I masturbate, I
use a lot of water. I won't go into details, but I felt guilty
wasting water, so, when I was young I might have made a promise
to Mother Mary that I would stop wasting water. Well, now I am
feeling really troubled because I can't remember if I really did
promise her or not, and I'm afraid that she would be angry
because I broke my promise more than a thousand times. What
should I do? I have tried various means to quit watching porn
and masturbating, I punish myself by having to say 10 Hail Marys
each time I watch, and now I have more than 1000 Hail Marys to
to be said. This still couldn't stop me, so I began more
punishments like giving $5 to charity each time I watched, and
now I have to donate $15 so far. I feel bad as despite it being
my allowance, the money was earned by my parents.
Also, I feel like a
terrible child to my parents because they have spent a lot of
money on me, bringing me to hearing specialists and
acupuncturist in hope of getting back my hearing, and I feel like the
cause of it could be the punishment of me watching porn...and
yet I still do it. I am really afraid and lost. I do not know
what to do anymore. I am afraid I would be thrown into hell or
purgatory if I cannot overcome these sins. Also, I lust after
guy friends quite frequently and I don't know if I'm lonely or
just want to find a life companion. Please advise me. I don't
know what to do anymore. Thanks for reading this long message.
- Rena.
_____________________________________________________
Rena:
Your
actions betray that you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder
that needs to be addressed through a counselor, psychologist or
psychiatrist. Ever since you were nine, you have had this
obsession on sexual matters that is not healthy. The use of
water or pornography are tied into this obsessive-compulsive
disorder that is the cause of your emotional and spiritual
pain. You probably developed this obsessive behavior because
your health was always in flux, such as your ability to hear.
That insecurity about your hearing may have caused you to seek
comfort in sexual matters that were beyond your level of
maturity to deal with. Now that you are older, you can seek
help for that now before these sexual sins take over your life
and destroy you. God is not punishing you for your
obsessive-compulsive disorder. God is not taking your hearing
away because you are involved in sexual matters. God doesn't
punish us, He forgives us and send us His Holy Spirit to help us
overcome our difficulties. Trust in God is absolutely necessary
to overcome your obsessions.
Do not
lose faith. Instead, rise up, hold your head high, and seek
help for your obsessions. And please, stop the promises to God,
Jesus, or the Blessed Virgin Mary. Stop the self-imposed
penances. Make your prayer to God through Jesus for freedom
from your obsessions. Do not fear to seek help from
professionals. They will help you understand why you developed
these obsessions. Here is a prayer that you can say with your
open heart and your strong faith:
"Lord Jesus, in your Name, please deliver me from my obsessions
that are taking over my life. I place my life and my problems
in your Hands. I trust in you to help me overcome my
obsessions. Please send your Holy Spirit to free me from these
obsessions. Please guide me to find help for what bothers me
and disturbs my peace. Thank you, Lord, for your many
blessings. Amen." - Father
Francisco
"If I accepted Christ
as Savior in a Baptist Church and
baptized, can I still be saved though I choose to remain
Baptist? - Jeff
Father Cervantes:
If I accepted Christ
as my Savior in a Baptist church and was baptized, can I still
be saved even though I understand Catholic teachings but choose
to remain a Baptist and not convert to Catholicism? - Jeff
___________________________________________________________
Jeff:
Concerning
your question whether you will be saved, that is not an answer
that I can give since I am not God. You belong to Christ by
your profession of faith. That is the key to salvation. Your
heart is open to Christ and you know His love for you. Heaven
awaits you. You say that you understand Catholic teachings. I
don't know what you mean by that. If you know through your
studies that the Catholic Church is the Church founded by Jesus
Christ and built on the apostles, and if you know that the
Catholic Church is the custodian of truth for the world, then
you should become a Catholic so that you can have the sacraments
that will make your Christian life fuller and more
grace-filled. You are saved by your faith. You are judged by
God, not by anyone else. Be at peace. I encourage you, though,
to do more research about Church history and the find out how
you can become Catholic and belong to an apostolic Church
founded by Jesus. -
Father Cervantes
"I woke last week and
took a shower. When drying
myself I noticed a black crucifix on my right arm. I
tried to wash it off to no avail. Can you shed some
light on this?" - Ann
Dear Father
Francisco:
I come to you as I am truly baffled by what happened to me on
October 30, 2015 and since then cannot find any answers to my
question. I will attach a photo for your viewing in determining
the best answer or approach. I woke up last Friday morning and
jumped into the shower. When I was drying myself off, there was
a black crucifix that appeared on my right arm. I didn't think
too much of it and figured perhaps it was makeup or ink. I got a
sponge and makeup remover to remove it however, it didn't go
away!!! It stayed with me all day even after going to the gym
for cardio. I went to my son's doctor to obtain his prescription
as it cannot be faxed and spoke to the medical assistant there
who observed the marking and mentioned that it was NOT a black
and blue, pinched skin, swelling or anything she could identify.
She even examined it closer to see if perhaps it was a mole,
skin cancer, etc but nothing added up.
I am spooked and scared . I am a female, a mother to an 8 year
old autistic boy and have been feeling rather down due to his
condition since the medication once it wears off has nasty side
affects. I am married for 14 years, currently do not work due to
my extensive traveling for work. Our son needs my presence and
guidance and no one is capable of watching him due to his
problems.
Can you kindly shed some light as the more I read the more I was
scared and pray with all of my heart that Christ was trying to
relay something to me. I truly welcome your professional opinion
and or perhaps facts. May this email find you well and may
God Bless you for your time. Sincerely, Ann
__________________________________________________________________
Ann:
Thank you,
Ann, for your picture. What a wonderful sign from God that you
are loved. That cross, though it may have medical and physical
causes, is nonetheless a sign that you are loved infinitely.
Why are you spooked and scared? You have worked so hard for
your autistic son! You have sacrificed so much for your son as
you should as a loving mother that you are. Why shouldn't God
tell you that you are not alone in your work for your son? It
seems that the cross is a sign that God is with you and will
bless you
abundantly for all you do, for your sacrifices, and for your
maternal love. You are so blest. Don't give up. I know that
there will be times when you wish that things would be different
and why you are in this situation. God is simply sending you a
little message: He is with you. He loves you. He appreciates
your sacrifices. And He will bless you
abundantly! You are so blest!
And your son is being protected by God Himself. What a
beautiful message! Time to dance for joy!
-
Father
Francisco
My wife and I married in the civil court fourteen years
ago but now she wants a divorce. We have two
children.
She is unfaithful. What should I do?" - Rick
Father Cervantes:
My separated spouse
and I have been married through the civil court for 14 years,
she told me she wanted a divorce in Aug.2014, she separated me
in march 2015, I went to counseling on my own, I go to church,
she refused to go to counseling with me or a retreat. I've
changed my ways for the better. But she has always refused to
come back. She has had her own apartment since May 2015, she
doesn't want to come back to me, we have 2 kids we split weekly
50/50. I prayed for God to find me someone to keep my mind of
her since I was not sleeping and still can't, well this girl and
I have been having relations, my wife has not filed for divorce
because of financial reasons. I have confessed several times
but I am really lonely without any friends and she believes in
God and we go to church together. This is not my plan and I
would like my family back. Am
I committing sin even though we are not married through church?
What should I do, I am confused? Please father forgive me.
I am always in doubt and not happy, I miss my family and she is
already talking to other men. - Rick
___________________________________________________________
Rick:
Any sexual
activity outside of a sacramental marriage is considered sinful,
so your affair is considered sinful. I understand that you are
lonely and lost because of the separation of your wife of 14
years. It is especially painful when you are separated at times
from your two children. This pain will not go away as you will
always have to deal with this separated situation. Even though
you are not officially divorced, you are tied to each other in
marriage though it is considered a civil marriage only. So,
stay faithful, even though it may seem your wife is not
faithful. Your two children are the most important parts of
your marriage. Keep your focus on them. They need a father who
will love them into maturity and
responsibility. I do not know if your marriage has any hope of
reconciliation. As you said, you have more
self-knowledge now that enabled you to understand your part in
the break-up of your marriage. Your two children will always
keep you in contact with your wife even after divorce. It is
time for you to accept your situation and work with what you
have. One of the greatest temptations that will tear you apart
and make your life and the life of those around you miserable is
the temptation to feel sorry for yourself. Stop feeling sorry
for yourself. This is not about you. The focus should be on
your children who need a father who is mature and able to pay
attention to them. Continue with your counseling. Please do
that so that you can overcome the problems that cause you to be
lonely. God is with you.
- Father Cervantes
I have a prostate condition and my doctor suggested
trying a Prostate Massager to clear up the pain. Is
this sinful to use this device?" - Rusty
Father Cervantes:
I've been diagnosed
with a prostate condition (I think it is prostatitis) that I
forgot the name of. For the last year I have had to try
dozens of options to deal with or cure the condition.
Recently my doctor
has suggested trying a Prostate Massage or Milking to see if
that would clear up the pain I have. I gave it a try and my
condition improved for a few days. My doctor then prescribed to
me a medical device to me a device I could use to massage the
area every so often to increase blood flow. My question is, is
it sinful to use such devices for therapeutic use like this? I
really do not want to commit sin, but I really do want relief
from the condition. - Rusty
________________________________________________________
Rusty:
In regards to your medical condition, always follow the advice
of your doctor. If you are following your doctor's advice in
regards to your prostate condition, then no sin is involved. I
pray that the Spirit of the Lord will heal you and give you
peace.
-
Father Cervantes
"My husband and I divorced two years ago. He was
having an inappropriate affair while married to me.
Our marriage was not annulled so can he be married
by her uncle who is a Catholic Priest? - Charisse
Father Francisco:
My husband and I
divorced two years ago after 37 and a half years of marriage and
3 years of dating. There were many factors in making the
difficult decision to file, but there were two things that, for
me, were the “straws that broke the camel’s back,” so to speak.
One was the fact that my ex-husband was having an inappropriate
relationship with a woman, while we were still married and even
with me repeatedly asking him to get rid of her and telling him
I would forgive him, he would not get rid of her. The second
was the deplorable way he treated our daughter, telling her she
was a mistake and was never meant to be born, plus neglecting
her in a time of great need in her life. She was having several
health
issues (flesh-eating bacteria) and emotional issues due to an
abusive boy friend.
Anyway, as soon as
the divorce was final, he filed for an annulment. The paperwork
went to the Tribunal in our diocese. The Tribunal did not even
hear the case stating that he had not provided any evidence to
show that our marriage was invalid. So, my question is this:
Since our marriage was not annulled, can he be married by a
Catholic priest? He is marrying the girl that he was cheating
on me with and her uncle, a retired Catholic priest, is
performing the ceremony. How can that be? Is that even
allowed? I thought if your marriage was not annulled, he could
not be married by a Catholic priest. - Charisse
___________________________________________________________
Charisse:
I am as
confused as you are. If the Tribunal did not make a decision in
regards to the nullity of your marriage, no deacon or priest can
preside over your ex-husband's marriage. I am not sure if the
uncle priest knows of the circumstances of the marriage. Maybe
the uncle priest has been mislead to preside over the marriage.
Nonetheless, that marriage is invalid from the beginning no
matter who presides over it. If you can, I would write a letter
to the uncle priest to inform him that the Tribunal has made no
decision in regards to the nullity of your marriage in the
Church. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I pray
that you can move forward with your life and leave your
ex-husband to God's Justice.
- Father
Francisco
"Is an emotional affair a mortal sin
if the two
people have never met?" - Siennarva
Father Francisco:
I had a question
about emotional affairs. Is an emotional affair a mortal sin if
the two people have never met? - Thank you - Siennarva
___________________________________________________________
Siennarva:
In this
age of Internet meetings and messages by mobile phones, an
emotional affair without meeting the other is still considered
sinful since it is a cause of temptation to sin. Stay away from
these emotional affairs. These kind of affairs always come with
a cost that you do not want to "pay." Trust in God for your
emotional fulfillment. -
Father Francisco
"I am Catholic married mother of 6 and
married
for 24
years. We have not been intimate for two
years and live from paycheck to paycheck. Should I
get a divorce?" - Mary
Dear Fathers:
I am a 53 year old
married mother of 6. I have 3 boys still at home: 19, 17, and
11 years of age. I was raised Irish catholic in the great city
of Boston. I now live in Florida. I have been married for
24 years. I had two girls when I met my husband. I was not
attracted to him at all. I was pressured into marrying him
because he's a firefighter and everyone said I needed a husband.
Now we hate each other. He did go through Rica and became
catholic shortly after we got married. I have no hope no bank
account no job no money. We live paycheck to paycheck. We live
as roommates. We have not been intimate for 2 years. I want a
divorce but have no place to go. I haven't been to mass for a
few years because when I see the happy people in church I feel
jealous and I feel like I don't belong. I am 150 lbs overweight
I wish I was dead or had never been born. I was wondering if
we are not being intimate and my husband doesn't have any money
to help our boys get a license, a car, a college degree, etc.,
should I get a divorce? - Mary
___________________________________________________________
Mary:
Divorce is
the last option left to you in such a painful relationship. If
you have exhausted all other options such as counseling, then
divorce will become an option for you. From what you describe,
you may have a case for an ecclesiastical decree of nullity (an
annulment). Time to get moving forward and find peace in your
life. Your marriage has become a heavy cross that you do not
have to carry. You were pressured to marry him for many
reasons. The fact that you were pressured (and it seems that
there was a considerable amount of pressure), your marriage to
your husband may not be sacramentally valid. Please talk to
your pastor or deacon about this. You are loved by God. Even
though you do not feel loved by anyone and are burdened by so
much emotional pain, you are loved and your life must be lived
to the full, especially for your children who will always need
their mother. You are needed! And you have been made to
fulfill God's plan for you and your children. Time to focus on
your children and resolve this painful marriage.
- Father Cervantes
"My boyfriend and I ended things. Will God
punish me for turning to a spirit guide for
help?" - Christina
Father
Cervantes:
I just have a
question about psychics. I have recently ended things with a
boyfriend that I care about very much and a lot of me is still
holding on to the relationship thinking he is going to come back
to me and we can start things up again, and I really want to
know if I need to let go of that hope or if holding on to the
hope will benefit in the end. I just want an answer so I know
which way to go, and I do know of 2 religious people that see
this one psychic, well they call him a spirit guide and he seems
to be right all the time and I would like to contact him so that
I can finally have my answer but I'm scared God will punish me
for it. So I guess my question is, will God punish me for
turning to this so called spirit guide, just this one time? -
Christina
__________________________________________________________
Christina:
Your
relationship with your ex-boyfriend is not meant to be. If it
was meant to be, then things would be different, but it isn't.
Things ended in your relationship because your relationship was
toxic. No amount of any magic or psychic power is going to
change any person, especially your ex-boyfriend. Instead, ask
the Lord to send someone else in your life who will truly love
you and support you as you need. You already have your answer
and you don't need a psychic to tell you the obvious: this
ex-boyfriend is not good for you and will never be. There is
someone else waiting for you, waiting to meet you, waiting to
share your life. You will meet him when the time is right in
God's Plan for you! In the Old Testament, in the Book of
Leviticus, Chapter 19, Verse 31, it states this as a commandment
of the Lord:
Do not go to mediums or consult
fortune tellers, for you will be defiled by them. I, the Lord,
am your God.
That means, stay away from these charlatans.
-
Father
Cervantes
"My wife and I were christened into the Russian Orthodox
Church in Alaska. I am still drawn toward the Catholic
Church. What is the process?" - Danny
Father Francisco::
In 2000, my wife and
I were christened
into the
Russian Orthodox church in Kodiak, Alaska. Since then we have
moved a lot and have attended liturgy at the Greek, Antiochian,
Serbian, and Russian Churches. I am 66 years old, married 36
years and was a baptized Protestant for many years before
converting to Orthodoxy. So was my wife. Over the years I have
begun to study the Catholic faith and I am becoming very
interested in it; mostly because of the stability and my
agreement with its doctrines. As we progressed in the orthodox
practice of faith, I became more and more confused with the
liturgies being somewhat different at each church and the
differences of practice of the new calendar, old calendar and
the revised old calendar as well as some groups being
non-canonical and others canonical. Other reasons surfaced also
but I will not mention them. For a short time, we lived in a
small community that had only a Catholic Church and the pastor
there allowed us to take communion which was a great blessing to
us. Now we live in a community that has both a Eastern Orthodox
Church and two Catholic Churches. I am still being drawn toward
the Catholic Church and I need to know how we can progress in
that direction. If we decide to convert to the Catholic Church,
and we may, what would be the process? I look forward to your
response and yes you may publish this question. - Danny
___________________________________________________________
Danny:
What a
wonderful spiritual journey you have taken in your walk with
Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Even though there are many
differences in style of liturgy and even teachings in the
Orthodox churches, please know that you belong to an apostolic
Church, with its roots in the apostles and Jesus Christ
Himself.
The
Orthodox Church is a loose confederation of faith communities
each with its own traditions and cultures. The Catholic Church
is more monolithic with a presiding pastor (the Pope) that has
all authority over the many Catholic churches throughout the
world. The Orthodox churches are more independent from each
other, with a Patriarch overseeing each church (such as an
individual Patriarch for each of the Russian, Serbian, Greek,
and other Orthodox Churches) though there is a sense of unity
around the Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople (His
All-Holiness), the successor of Saint Andrew the apostle.
The
Catholic Church is presided in authority by the Patriarch of the
West, the Bishop of Rome, the Pope, the successor of Saint Peter
the apostle and rock of the Church who possesses the keys of the
kingdom of heaven. The two apostolic churches do have two
different ways of governance of the Church. The Catholic Church
and the Orthodox Churches are sister churches derived from the
apostles and Jesus Himself.
I do
understand your desire to belong to the Catholic faith. The
Catholic Church is dynamic and open to the changes of the
world. The Orthodox Churches seem to be frozen in time though
their Christian teachings are dynamic, mystical, and emotionally
moving. If your spiritual journey takes you to the Catholic
Church, then please talk to your parish Catholic priest and
start the process of the Rites of Christian Initiation for
Adults (R.C.I.A.). You won't have to receive any sacraments
since your Orthodox sacramental life is recognized as valid by
the Catholic Church.
You will
make a profession of faith, and through that profession of
faith, you will be recognized as a full member of the Catholic
Church, the Church of Jesus founded on the rock of Peter's
faith. The process is simple, but you will learn much about the
Catholic Church's frame of mind through the R.C.I.A. process.
Thank you for your testimony of faith in Jesus Christ as Lord
and Savior, and thank you for sharing your spiritual journey
with us. May the Spirit of God guide you in all your
decisions. - Father
Francisco
"Do you know when a Jewish censor removed the
extra chapters from the Book of Daniel?" - David
Dear Father
Francisco:
The Christian in the
Jewish version, namely, Bel and the Dragon, and Susanna and the
Elders.
The Book of Daniel was written at the time of Nebuchadnezzar II
c580BCE. The Jewish opinion is that the extra chapters are
Christian additions, and not from the Jewish original. I
disagree. I demonstrate that Jewish art from the 14th c to the
19th c, systematically uses images from the lost books of
Daniel.
This is the
only Jewish text with the word meshach, and the timing of the
writing of the Book of Daniel c580BCE, fits perfectly with the
historical record, where Cyrus the Great b578BCE was the first
recorded person in history with that title. Further, he helped
the Jews return to Israel, fitting the theory of a messiah
(which source I don't know). The Book of Daniel is therefore
the primary source of laws on the Jewish concept of a meshach
(messiah).
I believe that Jewish authorities removed the extra chapters as
they were too close to the Christian version, even though the
concept is different. Both of the missing chapters discuss
adultery, resulting in a young mother giving birth to a child,
evidently to be called meshach, whose father is not known, or at
least not her husband.
The missing chapters of Daniel from the Jewish text therefore
equate Judaism and Christianity, uniting their message.
Therefore there is no contradiction between Judahism and
Christianity. They are one and the same. Do you know when a
Jewish censor removed them? Regards, David
________________________________________________________
David:
You have
done some biblical research, and I am happy that you did.
The
Council of Nicea, in 325 A.D., set the canon of the bible that
Christians, especially Catholics and the Orthodox, use to this
day. The book of Daniel came from the Greek version of the
Jewish "bible" called the
Septuagint.
For Christians, the book of Daniel as defined by the Council of
Nicea has the missing chapters that the Hebrew bible does not
have (and because of that, the Protestant reformation discarded
these "books" from their canon in the 16th century, a decision
that they had no right to do since the bible was codified and
defined as a matter of faith bythe Council of Nicea).
The book
of Daniel has two parts, the Hebrew (and Aramaic) part which is
called the proto-canonical book, and the Greek part called the
deutro-canonical book. The Council of Nicea accepted both parts
as canonical for the Catholic and Orthodox Churches. If there
were any "Jewish censors," it would have happened when the
Hebrew bible was codified by a distinguished group of rabbis,
called the Masoretes, that formed the Masoretic Hebrew text
during the 7th through 10th century A.D. (C.E.) that we all use
today. I cannot speak for the Masoretes who are responsible for
the codified Hebrew text we have today. All I know is that the
book of Daniel in the Christian bible has the complete form in
both Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek.
Thank you for writing
in. - Father Francisco
Ephesians 5:4 says " Nor should there be obscenity,
foolish talk or coarse joking... Other bible translations for
this verse say/forbid joking in general rather than
just coarse joking. Your opinion?" - Nick
Father Cervantes:
Ephesians 5:4 says "
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking,
which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." Some bible
translations for this verse say/forbid joking in general rather
than just coarse joking. And saints such as John Chrysdotem say
in their bible commentaries that it is sinful to basically act
humorous and kid around. I am struggling with this and want your
opinion on the verse and how heavily we should weigh the opinion
of this saint. - Nick
________________________________________________________
Nick:
The New
Testament teaches that we should always be aware of our words
and actions as these words and actions have consequences,
intended or not. But does this mean that Christians have to be
somber, boring, and with no humor? Not at all. We are meant to
be a happy and peaceful people, full of love. And that implies
joy, energy, and thankful hearts that sing (see Psalm 138). We
should stay away from gossip, profanity, and sexually enticing
jokes as this is not acceptable behavior for a Christian. But
laugh away to your hearts content! That shows the joy of the
Holy Spirit in your life! Grateful hearts are always full of
energizing joy!
- Father Cervantes
"I married a divorced lady. To annul her previous marriage
she must contact her ex and arrange for annulment and we
don't want this. What Sacraments can I receive?
Sacraments at the time of death? - Alan
Father Francisco:
I was a single Catholic man and married a divorced lady. I
cannot have her previous marriage annulled because the church
needs to contact her ex-husband and we don't want
this.
What Sacraments can I not
receive? Can I go to
confessions? Can I receive
sacraments at time of
death?
Regards, Alan
___________________________________________________________
Alan:
Any
Christian, even non-Catholics, can be afforded the Sacrament of
the Anointing of the Sick in danger of death. I wish you could
find a way to seek an annulment of your wife's first
marriage. There must be a way. In all justice and fairness,
your wife's ex-husband must be notified at least that an
annulment is being sought. He doesn't have to respond, but he
must be told. I am sure you can understand this. I hope you
and your wife will reconsider this course of action.
Until an
annulment is decided by a Church Tribunal, you will be unable to
receive any of the sacraments except the Anointing of the Sick
(Extreme Unction) in danger of death.
-Father Francisco
"I am not
Catholic. I told a Catholic friend that a person
who lives a life of unrepentant sin won't go to Heaven after
death.
He said Catholics can have a mass said so they can enter
Heaven if they are Roman Catholic. Is this true?" - Bob
Father
Francisco:
In a recent
conversation with a friend of mine who is a devout Roman
Catholic (I am not), he said a few things that I did not
understand. When I asked him to explain them, he told me to ask
a priest. Since I do not know any priests, I thought I would ask
you.
During the
course of our conversation I made the comment that a person who
lives a life of habitual unrepentant sin will not go to heaven,
whether they are a Catholic or not. He says that Catholic's are
able to have a mass said for someone like that so they can enter
heaven if they are a Roman Catholic. Is this true?
When I told
him that I did not think the Bible says that, he told me that I
am “not authorized to interpret Scripture.” What does that mean
that I am not authorized to interpret Scripture. My friend also
told me that even though I think I am a Christian, if I refuse
to be a part of the Roman Catholic church, I cannot and will not
go to heaven. Is this true? Thank you for your time, and I look
forward to hearing back from you. Sincerely, Bob
__________________________________________________________
Bob:
I must say that your Catholic friend is way out of line in his
conclusion that a person who is in "habitual unrepentant sins"
can somehow be saved after death through a series of memorial
Masses and memorial prayers. This is clearly wrong and, as you
have rightly concluded, non-biblical. We have one life on this
earth, and we will be held accountable for this life on earth by
our Creator. Yet, Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, extends and
offers us a free gift for our spiritual healing, spiritual
maturity, and spiritual fulfillment: absolute forgiveness.
If we accept this free gift (called grace) from our Lord Jesus
Christ, then we are inwardly changed and can spiritually mature
to be masters of what can destroy each of us (sin).
Forgiveness, through the one sacrifice of Christ, is the
cornerstone of all Christianity. Reconciliation and healing is
the spiritual goal of all Christians. Christians are commanded
to bring this message to the ends of the earth, and to live this
message in their daily lives. Even though God gives all of us
unlimited "second chances" through forgiveness, there are no
second chances after death: you either belong to the Lord or
you do not.
So, my faith in Jesus is efficacious because faith
accomplishes immediate justification which means (at least for
Catholics) immediate access to God and our relationship with God
is reconciled and healed without any effort on my part but true
faith. But salvation, the end product of my faith and
justification to God and His total creation, is achieved through
a lifetime of spiritual work, battles, suffering, and the
gaining of wisdom. Salvation is the gift of eternal life with
our Creator after death.
Your friend may be confused about the whole concept of
purgatory, a time in which a soul that BELONGS to Christ is
purified of all that separates that soul from a complete union
with God (purgatory is not a place like heaven and hell but
a period of standing in the Infinite Love of God understanding
all that has happened in our life, and are purified and cleansed
of what we carry from our earthly life into heaven...for nothing
impure can enter heaven, please see Revelation 21:27).
Catholics have always taught that our prayers support the
transitioning soul as they enter heaven purified by the Blood of
the Lamb, Jesus Christ. But those prayers cannot somehow
forgive a person of their earthly "habitual unrepentant sins."
A person in habitual unrepentant sins have made their life
decision: they do not belong to Christ. That's the free choice
of the person, for they chose heaven or hell. By living in
habitual unrepentant sin, they have chosen hell. When they die,
nothing can help these unrepentant sinners out of hell.
As to your interpretation of scripture, we are all free to
interpret the scripture. But true interpretation of the
scripture is always tied to the teachings of the Church. Anyone
can interpret scripture. Even the devil did that to Christ in
the desert when the devil tempted Jesus by using scripture
against him (please see Matthew 4:1-11). For Catholics, the
checks and balance system of scriptural interpretation rests
with the teachings of the Church gleaned from its two thousand
year tradition and existence. For the Catholic Church, we
knew
the writers of the scriptures, in particular the New Testament,
and knew what they meant when they wrote the various
New Testament letters and gospels. To me,
it is interesting and frustrating to see how people can
project
anything on the scriptures and use it for their own agendas
or evil. That's why the Catholic and Orthodox Churches always
depend on the precedent of biblical interpretation that has been
passed
down to us these past two thousand years.
As for whether Catholics are the only ones to make it to heaven
and salvation, I am reminded of what Jesus said in the gospel
when the apostles complained that there were "others" not of
their company that have began to teach and use the Name of
Jesus: (please see Luke 9:50, Mark 9:38-41) "For
whoever is not against us is for us."
The Catholic and Orthodox Churches were founded by Jesus and the
Apostles directly and we carry those teachings and traditions
from the apostles themselves. We are the Church foundedby Jesus
Himself on the apostles. The Catholic Church has always seen
itself as the guardians of truth and that is our mission. We
are tasked with the protection of the treasure of God's Word.
Other Christian denominations and sects not associated with us
are also covered by the Blood of Christ and all who profess the
Name of Jesus and live it in their lives have salvation. Being
a Catholic doesn't ensure salvation. True faith does.
"Whoever is not against us is for us."
Your friend is probably very confused about his faith. He holds
on to his own severe and closed-minded ways in trying to make
sense of the world around him. My faith in Jesus, and my life
in the Catholic Church, an apostolic church, opens my mind to
all the wonders of God's creation around me without fear and
without judgment. My faith in Jesus opens me up to the world
and I rejoice in God's diverse creation.
For some, like your friend, that evokes fear which makes some
hide behind erroneous faith conclusions. Thank you for writing
to us. -
Father Francisco
"A
Catholic Priest asked my elderly mother if he
could spend the night at her home and later
asked her to massage his back. Isn't this
inappropriate?" Rhapsophy
Father
Cervantes
A Catholic priest asked my elderly (86 years old)widowed mother
to spend the night at her home during his travels. He spent the
night; my mother and the priest were alone in the house. He
also asked her to massage his back. I find this highly
inappropriate and my mother felt uncomfortable with his
requests. My mother is uncomfortable telling him "no" in the
future because he is
a priest. Is this considered inappropriate behavior for a
Catholic priest? Thank you.
- Rhapsophy
__________________________________________________________
Rhapsophy:
My answer
here is going to be short. This is truly an example of
inappropriate behavior for anyone, especially a Catholic
priest. I do not even know if he is a Catholic priest since I
do not
understand why a priest is traveling and staying at people's
houses (visiting priests invited by a parish to serve stay in
the rectory or in a hotel.....not in a parishioner's home unless
the pastor
of the parish made the arrangements with controls).
How does
your mother know this priest, if he is one? This is a very
serious matter. You must report this man to your local diocese
(archdiocese) immediately, right now. Do not delay. And
you must share my answer with your 86 year old mother. If
ANYONE feels uncomfortable with unwanted or surprising touches
by anyone (or asked to be touched), especially an ordained
minister (deacon, priest, bishop), that person must be reported
to the proper authorities (civil and, in case of an ordained
minister, the bishop of the diocese as well) immediately. Your
mother
must be protected from this man.
Something
is very disturbing about this situation. Your mother is 86
years old. Is this man a con-artist? Is this man going to do
something violent or unwanted against your elderly mother?
Does this man have designs on her bank account? That's why this
man must be reported to civil authorities as well as your
diocese since you may find out that this man is not a priest, or
doesn't have the license (called "faculties") to minister in any
church. Protect your mother! She needs your help. And
investigate this man. And report now. Also, after reporting
this man
to police and bishop, tell your pastor so that this man will
never be allowed to serve in your parish church again. Please
show my answer to your mother, and to your pastor so that they
can understand the seriousness of this horrible situation if it
helps to explain your situation to these investigative agencies.
-
Father Cervantes
"Some extenuating
family circumstances have left me
feeling like I am not good enough for anybody. How
could I be good enough for anybody else if my own
mother spent years being disappointed in me?"
- Ekaterina
Father Francisco:
I would love some advice, right now I am drifting and I'd love
something solid to hold on to. I am really struggling with
myself lately. Some extenuating family circumstances have left
me
feeling like I am not good enough for anybody. Friends,
significant others, and family. How could I be good enough for
anybody else if my own mother spent years being disappointed in
me or convinced I could do better at whatever I was doing,
especially school work?
The people around me
are changing so much. They are figuring out who they are. They
are discovering what they want to study. Finding relationships
and friendships with amazing people.
They are changing and maturing before my very eyes, and that is
so beautiful.
But I am nowhere close to that. I am not sure I am studying the
right thing. I have no idea who I am supposed to be, but I know
that if I stay where I am now I won't get anywhere. I am
immature for my age and it hurts to be looked at like the cute,
vaguely annoying pet of the friend group. Not to mention that
most people of the opposite gender won't come near me with
a ten foot pole. It is heartbreaking to see everyone
progressing at such an amazing rate while you are left behind
because you are holding them back. I hate wanting to be with
people. I
hate wanting to be accepted. It makes me needy, pathetic, and
weak in front of the people I look up to the most.
I stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago. They are
God giving me opportunities. I have been told my whole life
that God has amazing plans for me. How can that be true when I
feel like I am only what I could get for my internal organs on
the black market. When I am not taken seriously or
appreciated. And when I, a social, healthy, female, meant to be
in a
relationship as a human being, is rejected or ignored by every
male who does not give me the creeps.
That is about it. I feel I am not worth more a whole than as
parts. I feel like something that can help people reach higher
heights while being nailed to the ground. I just need to know
that I
can be satisfied with myself. Thank you for your time. Alive, Ekaterina
____________________________________________________________
Ekaterina:
I am sorry
to hear of your struggles in your life. You struggle with many
issues that some of your fellow youth fight with daily. And you
know that each of us are unique and individual, created
in the image of God. And you know that you are a daughter of
God, beautiful in His sight. You know this already.
But what
you don't know is how you are intentionally blinding yourself to
the goodness that is you. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
Who cares if anyone accepts you as you are? All that
is trivial if you cannot accept you as you are. Embrace your
uniqueness. Love your differences from others. Rejoice in your
individuality. You and I are different. Rejoice in that. You
are
different from your parents. Rejoice in that! Work with what
you have and are. Why be like someone else? Why try to be what
others think is mature? Just be you.
Here is a
definition of maturity for you: being at peace with
yourself. That's what maturity is! It is not about acting
grown-up (whatever that means), or being successful in some
financial
way (show-offs are not mature). That might sound like a
worthless platitude to you, but truth is clear and evident: God
made you as you are and He doesn't want you to be like anyone
else,
and He doesn't want you to be beg to be loved because you
already are loved. And He doesn't want you to be miserable by
being unhappy with you. So if you think that your mother is
disappointed in you, move on. No one can judge you. Only God
can. And God created you for His purpose and your happiness.
As long as you look at others and compare yourself with
them, you will be unhappy. As long as you see yourself and
rejoice in your uniqueness, then you will be happy and find your
place in the world.
Love your
specialness because no one is exactly like you! Your place in
the world is waiting for you to occupy it. Take your
God-created uniqueness and make something happen for you and
others around you. One day, people will be fighting to be your
friend! And when that happens, I hope you will be able to help
others who struggle with issues similar to yours. Who cares
what
anyone thinks about your individuality? Only God can judge you,
and God wants you to live life to the full. Be at peace. I am
saying a special prayer for you now. My prayer: Help
your daughter, Lord, see the positive that she is.
Time to get on your knees, say thank you, God, for creating me,
and ask Jesus to enter your heart so that you can be truly
mature and find peace in being yourself. My prediction for you
is this:
one day, because of your maturity, people will be trying to be
your friend and you will never be lonely again. I see this
happening! You are blest indeed!
- Father Francisco
"I had two abortions. I have such guilt over this.
I was not Catholic then. I was told all my sins were
forgiven after my Catholic baptism and confirmation.
Please tell me if this is true?" - Karin
Father Cervantes:
This may be a complicated question, when I was in my teens and
very much ruled by what my mother told me to do, I had 2
abortions. I have such guilt over this and need to know that I
have
been forgiven, this keeps me awake at night and I worry daily
concerning this. I was not a Catholic at the time and it was 30
years later l joyfully joined the Church. I was informed that
all my sins
had been forgiven at the time of my baptism, confirmation, I
need so badly to know if this is true. I suffer so greatly over
this and of course now knowing that this was a great sin, I need
an answer.
Please if you can help me with this I would so greatly
appreciate your response . I have heard so many different
opinions that my head spins from them. Thank you and I look
forward to some
help in this issue. - Karin
_____________________________________________________________
Karin:
Be at
peace. When you became Catholic and were baptized into the
Church, everything, and I mean everything, that was sinful and
broke your relationship with God in your past has been
healed and reconciled to God and His Church. Another way of
saying it in clear language: all is forgiven. You became a new
creation in Christ at your baptism. In the New Testament,
Saint Paul writes in 2 Corinthians, Chapter 5, Verse 17:
So whoever is
in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away;
behold, new things have come. And all this
is from God, Who has reconciled us to Himself through Christ! Yet, if this still is a spiritual concern for you, please talk
to your parish priest about this. He can help you understand
the depth of God's forgiveness of your sins. You also must now
forgive yourself by accepting God's unconditional love and
forgiveness for your past.
I might
also add: God may be calling you to help others who were caught
in your kind of situation in your youth. You have a unique life
experience that can be put to use for the healing of
others and for God's greater glory. Be at peace. God has you
in His loving embrace forever!
- Father Cervantes
"I am a devout
Christian but having a bit of trouble.
There is a dark hole
in my soul from many tours of
combat as a USA
Marine. I feel as if I have no place
in Heaven. How can
I forgive myself?" Tim
Father Cervantes:
My name is Tim I am a devout Christian, but I am having a bit of
trouble. I have been saved, but the dark hole in my soul from
many tours of combat as a United States Marines makes me
feel as if I have no place in heaven. I am not sure what to
do. I need to find a way to forgive myself. Any words would
help. Thank you God Bless. - Tim
________________________________________________________________________
Tim:
I want to
thank you for your service to your country, the United States of
America. You have participated in selfless military service
that not many can truly understand through experience.
I embrace you with the love of Christ whom you have accepted
into your heart as your Lord and Savior. I embrace you as a
fellow brother on the road to salvation in heaven. I embrace
you with the hope of the resurrection and eternal life that we
have in our faith in Jesus Christ. I embrace you with the
forgiveness, unconditional forgiveness, of God the Father. I
embrace
you with the peace and healing power of the Holy Spirit. Thank
you for laying down your life for one's friends, for as the
scripture states in the Gospel of John, Chapter 15, Verses 12
and 13: This is
my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has
greater love than this: to lay down one's life for one's
friends.
In battle,
you not only lay down your life for your fellow Marines, you
laid down your life for all of us and those of the foreign
country that looked to you to defend them. You have loved
according to the gospel. In the First Letter of Peter, Chapter
4, Verse 8 (I Peter 4:8), Peter writes this:
Let your love for one
another be intense because love covers a multitude of sins.
Jesus is your Lord and Savior. Jesus died for you on the
cross. Your intense love, especially in battle, has covered
your many sins. And the love of Christ has covered you before
the
Father in heaven!
I know
that you will continue to play back the many scenarios of
battle, questioning yourself, wondering what could have been
done better. I know that you feel that you have sinned and
you have questioned the morality of your own actions and the
actions of those around you. You have said things that you are
ashamed of, profanity and even discriminatory and hateful phrases used to describe the people
you met along the way to
battle. These things can weigh heavily on you and all who were
with you. But know that the Lord sees your loving and
selfless heart and He forgives because Jesus has nailed all the
sins of the world on that cross on Calvary 2000 years ago. I
want to repeat that because there is a part of your spirit that
doubts God's love for you: Jesus has nailed all the sins of the
world on that cross on Calvary 2000 years ago.
Since God
is timeless (not limited by time and space as we are for God is
infinite), Jesus saw
you
from the cross and He nailed your sins, all your sins, on the
cross and He embraced you
with His saving arms. Jesus saw
you
2000 years ago, saw your entire life, and He willingly died for
you no matter what has happened in your life. Now, it is up to
you to accept that
forgiveness, move on, learn from your past experiences, and
through your faith, make the world a better place. As you know,
there are military veterans who come back from war and battle
and suffer from survivor's guilt, post traumatic stress, and
other issues. You must place your faith in Jesus into action.
You may be called by God Himself to help your fellow veterans,
for
you know what it is like to carry burdens that weigh heavily on
your shoulders.
May I
suggest that you get involved in veterans groups, support
groups, or even do your own ministry of healing and
reconciliation to your fellow veterans. You need, no,
you are
expected
by Jesus to share the gift of forgiveness that you have received
through your faith. An appropriate song here is this:
Amazing Grace, how sweet it sounds, that saved a wretch like me.
Now,
share that song with as many as you can. In doing so, your love
for others will cover your sins and help others know the amazing
grace of God's forgiveness.
By the
way, when God makes a promise, He will not break it. When you
accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, Jesus made a
promise to you: salvation! God is faithful. Jesus
won't break His promise. You already have your mansion in
heaven (see John 14:1-2) with your name on it. Do not despair.
Rejoice in Jesus who died for you, loved you, and wants you
to live with Him in heaven for all eternity with all your fellow
veterans! Be at peace! -
Father Cervantes
"How do I not become
ill worrying about my
grandson not being baptized? Can I baptize
him? What do I do? - Sandra
Hello! God is good!
I am a
Catholic raised new grandma….of 44 years. My husband and I have
been very blessed, have been raising our 3 children (son 21, son
13, daughter 10) in the Catholic Church. We attend mass every
Sunday. All of our children are altar servers. Compared to most
families, we are well off. We are very loving and generous
people. Our oldest son, managed to graduate 4 years of music
college(in 2) in the top 5 of his class, bury his grandmother
who died of sudden terminal cancer, and become a young unwed
father in a matter of 9 months and a bit. He has since stopped
going to Church. He has moved out to live with his now “fiancé”
and her mother and father (who are not married) but have
received their sacraments of baptism, first communion and
confirmation. Being 21 and “knowing everything”, I am sure with
the persuasion of his fiancé, native Indian, (whom I adore) they
have decided that baptism is not for their child. That there
are too many problems in the Catholic Church and that they feel
they are very “good people” and love God and don’t suddenly
believe it’s important to go to church or make vows in front of
strangers, for the sake of everyone knowing they’ve baptized
their child. Needless to say, my dad ( recently widowed) and
now living with us, also a devout Catholic his whole life, every
Sunday church-goer,… is disappointed beyond words. As I am. My
devastation can’t be expressed, it goes that deep. What do I
do. What on earth do I do? My husband says, we have to let go,
and let him make his own decisions. That he has to decide based
on his relationship and his living circumstances (our doors are
always open to them to live here- but they have chosen to
struggle with her family) I know you can’t “make” someone
believe in God. But how do I not become ill worrying about my
grandson, can I baptize him? What do I do? My dad is so
hurt that his first grandson has turned his back on the church.
He has been his pride and joy since the day he was born. Now my
dad talks about not wanting to communicate with him because of
his decision. This would kill me. I ask for your most sincere
advice. Desperately. If this wasn’t difficult enough, I now
hear of talk from the fiancé, that she’d like to get married in
a beautiful barn. I’m assuming without a priest. Please shed
some light here. Perhaps you can hear God….I am drowning
in a difficult year. Thank you so much for your time. - Sandra
_______________________________________________________
Sandra:
I want you
to remember what you wrote in the first line of your letter:
God is good. I don't want you to forget it. Because once you
forget how good God is, then you plunge into the darkness that Satan has created by his own hate of His Creator, God
Himself. Once you forget the goodness that already surrounds
you, you become blind and worry about things that you cannot
control.
God is good -- all the time. Don't forget it.
With that
said, your son is an adult. He no longer lives under your
roof. He is on his own, responsible to God for his actions and
decisions. Their son, your grandson, is under their protective
love no matter how that love is defined. You do not say that
they are the worst of parents. You do give the impression that
they are good parents, different from your parenting style, but
good
and loving parents. That is a blessing. You say that you
"adore" your son's girlfriend. So, that is a blessing. Right
now, they have decided to go their own way, on a road that is
different from yours.
I am reminded of the story of the Prodigal Son in the
Gospel of Luke, Chapter 15, Verses 11 through 32. In that
parable that Jesus told, a son demanded his inheritance from his
father
and squandered it on "a life of dissipation." Notice that the
loving father in the story didn't stop his son from going.
Didn't even stop his son from taking his part of his inheritance
(way before
his father died). Notice that the father didn't beg his son to
stay, didn't throw angry fits, didn't question his parental
skills, didn't try to stop him with threats or "guilt trips."
And notice that the
father didn't question God and His goodness. Instead, the
loving father let him go to learn from his own experience what
kind of blessing he had at home. And, as the story goes, the
son did
return, humbled, wiser, with the experience of knowing that he
was always blest at home. You are in the position of the
prodigal son's parents who waited for him to return with great
love and
patience. As your son grows and matures in his role as father,
he will soon realize what you have taught him from his youth. I
am always reminded of my parents' curse to us, their children.
They always said, "What you did to us will be done to you when
you have children." Well, my siblings certainly understand what
my parents were trying to say: that with the experience of
parenthood comes wisdom and the realization that our parents
were wise beyond what we could ever imagine. Your son and
future daughter-in-law will learn from their mistakes and will
learn
how much our Christian faith is the food of the family, what
makes the family stick together in unity. But your son must
first have the experience of what it is like to fall and need
God in their
lives. Some children don't need to have that kind of painful
experience to appreciate and need faith in Jesus Christ (they
are the "lucky" ones). From my experience as a pastor, most
children of parents have to experience the darkness before they
realize the need for the brightness of the love of God in their
lives.
So,
please, be at peace. Watch and wait as did the father of the
prodigal son. Your son must forge his own destiny. And one
day, he will return to the faith that you have embraced and have
given you strength in all things. Any negative messages from
you or your husband, overt or subconscious, will close the door
on their returning to the faith. Your own father, if he chooses
not
to talk to his own grandson and great grandson, will do more
damage in the future of your entire family. There is no need to
"punish" your son, future daughter-in-law, and your grandson
with
the silent treatment. It accomplishes nothing but to add to the
darkness of misunderstanding and hate that comes from Satan.
Any negative response to this situation will play into the
devil's
hands.
Remember
what you said with such gusto: God is good. He is good, and He
will protect your grandson though he is not baptized, and God is
good that He will take care of these new parents.
And one day, your son will come "home" to the Church, to the
faith of Jesus Christ because God is good. So, stop your
negativity. Stop the spiritual tantrums. Be like the loving
father of the bible. It will clear up any
confusion you have right
now. Trust in God's providence and plan for your son, grandson
and your entire family -- for God is good! -
Father
Francisco
"I am
haunted by the problem of free will. Can
you help?" - Jonas
Dear
Father,
I am
currently writing this question because I am haunted by the
problem of free will. First of all let me use C.S. Lewis’s quote
to explain what I really mean by free will:
“God
created things which had free will. That means creatures which
can go wrong or right. Some people think they can imagine a
creature which was free but had no possibility of going wrong,
but I can't. If a thing is free to be good it's also free to be
bad.” As you can see for me determinism and free will are not
compatible. If all of my actions are governed by the interaction
of my
genes with the environment then I do not possess free will
because I haven’t chosen my genes nor the environment in which I
was raised. Now my problem lies here
if what Arthur Schopenhauer
said is true, ‘Man can do what he wills and cannot will what he
wills”, then we’re not free. Because every time we choose
something, we choose what we desire most. For example if I have
the
option to steal, but I choose not to because when I was young
they taught me not to steal and because I have good genes, then
I do not posses free will. In other words if our desires and our
character determines what we do(both of which we had no control
over) how can God send people to heaven or hell since they could
not have chosen otherwise.
For example let's use this
decision of me sending this e-mail. I had the desire to stop
feeling depressed and to seek truth so a thought came up in my
mind to send it and I sent it. If I didn't feel this desire I
wouldn't have
sent it. I tried to get over
this problem by saying we have a soul, but even then if my soul
chooses, my actions are being determined by my soul which I
didn’t choose. Thanks a lot
for reading
my question.
Regards,
Jonas
____________________________________________________________
Jonas:
We are all
free will beings. We are not determined nor defined by any
genetic structures. We have been made in the image of God, that
image that is also free willed and determiner of destiny.
Without free will, there can be no faith, no true love. And
since we have been made in the image of God, we are reflections
of the Divine in all its glory.
In regards
to genetic structures of the human body and brain, one could
have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism and drug abuse,
usually genetic markers passed down from generation to
generation. Yet, that person with that kind of genetic
predisposition doesn't have to act on any genetic signals.
That's what free will is all about: the ability to determine my
own destiny. I have
met people who have that kind of alcoholic family genetic
background and they choose not to drink and fall into the
temptation of drinking. They made a free choice to be free from
this family
"curse" so that they can be truly at peace without the pain of
addiction.
Even
though I did not choose how I was created, I do choose every
action that I do freely. I may be tempted to go into any
direction, good (life-giving) or bad (destructive), but it is I
who chose
that destiny. Without true free will, there can be no real
faith or love. I cannot be forced into faith. I cannot be
forced into true love, the giving of one's heart to another.
If God did
not create us with free will, then He cannot expect us to love
Him and everything that Jesus taught is for nothing. Yet, Jesus
came, the Son of God, human and divine, by His Own
free will, to teach us that through true and free-willed faith
and love, we can attain, by our own free wills, the absolute
union with the Godhead, our Creator. Without this free will, we
are nothing
more than useless pawns in some Divine game. Without free will,
then we become moral-less creatures without any kind of
accountability to anyone or anything.
Now, to
me, there is no problem about free will. I am free to do with
what I have for the greater good or for evil. I am free to
build my destiny to be life-giving or to be destructive. I am
free to
be happy and fulfilled or not. Even with my particular genetic
structures, I am free to act on any genetic messages or not to
respond. Once again, without free will, why believe? With free
will,
I believe because it is through faith in God and my future union
(love) with that Divine Creator that I have a reason to live! I
live for the Creator and the Creator gave me His Laws to govern
my
life (the bible calls them commandments, and the Church
also defines as natural law).
We are
free! We are not determined. I alone determine what my life
will be. God responds to my determination accordingly. God
responds to my free will. If I do not have free will, then God
becomes irrelevant since I cannot be free in my life and
actions, and I do not have to be accountable to Him. There
you have it! -
Father Francisco
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