NOV/DEC 2016
ASK A PRIEST
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER LAZARUS CHAWDI
PRIEST STAFF
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
"I
am a pharmacy major in
College and working as a
pharmacy tech at CVS.
I'm Catholic. Is it
wrong to sell
contraceptive products?"
- Eric"
Father Kevin:
I'm a pharmacy major in
college and I'm working
as a pharmacy tech at
CVS. What I'm
wondering, is it wrong
to have chosen this as a
major because I'm
Catholic? Also, is it
okay to sell
contraception because I
don't know if they are
using it for
contraceptive
purposes, they could be
using it for a
legitimate medical
reason and so should I
also ask them what
they're using it for to
make sure they're not
using it for
contraceptive purposes?
Although legally I'm not
allowed to do that but
morally speaking, should
I? I saw that a similar
question was answered
but I prefer if I get a
personal response
instead of following
someone else's answer.
Sorry for the
inconvenience and thank
you for the answers.
–
Eric
_______________________________________________________
Hi Eric:
Thank you for your
question.
A good pharmacist is a
great gift to us no
matter what her or his
faith! Re you question
about selling
contraceptive items: you
are right of course not
knowing the motivation
or purpose for which the
drug will be used.
Therefore it is not your
issue morally. We have
responsibility for one
conscience ultimately ad
that is our own. We ca
help other people form
their consciences, and
even then they must take
ownership and
responsibility for their
own moral decisions and
behaviours.
I know of one pharmacist
here in Sydney who would
refuse to sell
contraceptives as it was
against his own
conscience. He had very
hard and fast rules
about many things, and
while he had every right
to decide what he would
or would not sell, as
well as losing
customers, people became
frightened to approach
him for advice on other
matters as well.
You can leave others to
make their own decisions
with a clear heart. If
they ever raise the
moral issue with you
themselves, then it
might be apt to share
your views with them.
Every blessing.
- Father Kevin
"I really don't love
people who get on my
nerves. I know
this is really wrong.
What can I do?" - Nancy
Father Kevin:
I was reading
Corinthians and I
realize how important
love is to God. I try to
do good things and not
to say mean things. But
in my head I really
don't love people who
get on my nerves. I call
them stupid in my head
and imagine how
satisfied I would feel
if something bad would
happen to them. I try
to love these
people...but it's not
working out so far. I
know this is wrong,
really wrong. What can
I do? I know there's no
point lying to God, who
knows my every thought.
I'm doomed. - Nancy.
______________________________________________________
Hi Nancy and thanks for
your question:
We have just marked the
First Sunday of Advent
and in the marvellous
first reading, Isaiah
speaks about turning our
swords into ploughshares
and our spears into
pruning hooks. Your
question reminded me of
that image. When we are
honest with ourselves,
we all have our
collections of swords
and spears!
Our process of
conversion can include a
patient but purposeful
attempt on our part to
make these changes.
Sometimes our
imagination runs away
with us when we have
been hurt or when we see
things that seem to us
to be inappropriate.
It’s then we can pull
ourselves up short and
remind ourselves that we
are not the ones to
Judge people and we can
then leave all that in
God’s hands and get on
with our life.
Possibly you are right
and these people are
stupid!! Even then you
can free yourself the
trouble of being judge
and jury and leave them
to God, and smile a bit
at their stupidity.
Loving them is a whole
other matter, but if you
are free of your
judgements, then at
least you can act and
think kindly towards
them. One good exercise
as well is to go and
have a look in the
mirror and look at the
areas of your own life
that others might think
are a bit stupid!! A
good sense of humour is
a vital spiritual
quality and when we can
laugh at ourselves, then
we can also take the
foibles of others less
seriously too.
Every blessing. - Father
Kevin
"I have been struggling
with lust through my
teens. I wonder
if magazines such as SL
Swimsuit are considered
a sin to
look at?" - Jayden
Father Kevin:
I am 21 years old and I
have been struggling
with lust for most of my
teens. I was wondering
if things like SI
Swimsuit or other
magazines of that sort
are considered a sin to
look at. I never watch
porn or masturbate, but
I feel I need to find a
way to relieve my stress
from my clinical ADD.
ADHD and anxiety. I
refuse to do drugs, and
my friends and some of
my family members have
turned on me. So, is SI
a sin? Is it a mortal
sin? Thanks and God
Bless You all. -
Jayden
________________________________________________________
HI Jayden and thanks for
your heartfelt question:
I’m afraid that you’re
going to be stuck with
lust, with sexual
desires for a long time.
I’m 70 years old and
those desires are still
alive and well! Our
sexual energy is a great
gift from God that is
one of the things that
keeps life interesting
and nourishing. One
good, healthy,
committed sexual
relationship that you
can hope for in
marriage, will give you
the best way to channel
your sexual energy.
The Church’s teachings
around sexual energy are
intended to protect life
at every stage, include
our own peace and
integrity. As we've
grown into our sexual
selves, this energy can
easily dominate our
every day. It is
in the nature of things
for us to have this
energy and passion as we
search out a partner in
life, and a proper place
for our sexual self to
find its peace. While we
are waiting for all this
to happen of course it
can be a great struggle
and we can slip into
habits that are not
especially life-giving.
For your anxiety and the
other conditions you
mention, I hope you can
find some good clinical
advice and assistance.
Releasing your sexual
energy may be one relief
valve, but it will
certainly not heal or
control your anxiety or
ADHD situation.
It’s important to know
that God is ultimately
patient with us and that
we can always turn back
to Him for His mercy and
His peace. I hope you
can be gentle and
patient with yourself as
you continue to grow and
also be relaxed in God’s
company. After all, He
knows how you are made!
Every blessing.
- Father Kevin
"I teach high schools
students in an afternoon
Jewish community
high school and several
questions have arisen
such as "What can
a priest do in
Catholicism that the
average Catholic cannot
do?"
- Gabe
Hello
Father:
I am not Catholic.
Thanks for your time.
I teach high school
students in an afternoon
Jewish Community High
School and several
questions have arisen
that I am hoping you can
help with. Most of
their questions have to
do with Catholic
religious leaders such
as are priests perceived
to be at a highter
spiritual leven than
regular practitioners?
What can a priest do in
Catholicism that the
average Catholic cannot
do? For example.
is a priest required for
baptism or can anyone
perform the ceremony?
Can anyone marry a
couple or does it
require a priest?
And annulment of
marriage? I
appreciate your help.
Walking Softly, Gabe
_______________________________________________________
Hello
Gabe and thanks for your
question:
The perception that
priests are somehow on a
higher plane than others
is still alive and well
and something that is
gradually being
jettisoned in many parts
of the Church. Here in
my own parish in Sydney,
I look at the heroism
with which couples,
parents and children
carry the burdens of
family life and it is
clear to me that their
heroism is sometimes
greater than anything I
am called upon to live.
While priests normally
perform the Sacraments,
any other baptised
Catholic can baptise.
Normally at this point
in time a priest or a
deacon are required for
marriage. It’s possible
that this could change.
The specific role of the
priest is to offer the
Church’s blessing to a
couple who wish to
celebrate their marriage
as a Sacrament. Here in
Australia, as a priest I
also represent the
Government and so look
after both the religious
and the civil dimensions
of a marriage.
In Europe
for instance this is not
the case where a couple
marry civilly and then
come if they so choose
to the Church to have
the marriage recognised
as a Sacrament. It’s
important to note too
that at a wedding, the
priest does not “marry”
the couple but rather
they marry each other,
conferring the Sacrament
on one another. The
priest is really the
Church’s witness if you
like.
This has always been and
will always be a work in
progress as we grow in
our understanding of the
wonderful gift of
marriage. The same
applies to the process
of annulment. Pope
Francis is striving to
make that process more
compassionate and
reasonable for people.
While there is usually a
priest involved in the
process, most of the
real work in annulment
considerations is done
qualified lay people who
work in the local
tribunal of each
Catholic diocese.
More broadly, as a
priest I never consider
myself to be at a higher
spiritual plain than
anyone else. We’ve put
our priests on such
pedestals for too long
and of course being
human they’ve too often
fallen off, and as with
good old Humpty Dumpty,
the damage can be
immense.
Gabe, if you want to
follow any of this up
further I’m very happy
to do so. Kathy, the
editor of CatholicView,
can put us in touch if
you would find that
helpful. Shalom. - Father
Kevin
As a Christian, is it
alright for me to get
into a
relationship with
another Christian who
had sex before I met
her? - Joseph
CatholicView Staff:
As a Christian is it
alright for me to get
into a relationship with
another Christian who
has had sex?
We both really like each
other but it does bother
me. Please help. -
Joseph
____________________________________________________
Joseph:
Although
your girlfriend had a
sexual relationship
before she met you, she
was honest in telling
you about it. She did
not hide the
circumstances but could
have. If she has
refrained herself since
that time and
remained chaste you
might re-think this
situation. Talk
honestly about this with
her. If she has avoided
having sex relations
with you because of her
past and her future, she
is also showing her
Christian restraint to
you. A good sign that
what happened then is no
longer now and hopefully
has asked God for
forgiveness.
In the meantime, please
pray about this. May
the Lord bless you.
- CatholicView
Staff
"How can I thank
God for my precious
little dog?"
- Hunter
CatholicView Staff:
I have a
little dog whom I love
very much. I've
had him for almost 12
years. He has
brought me great joy.
How do I thank God for
my little dog? How
do I let God know how
grateful I am to Him for
His gift of my little
dog? Just saying
thank you seems so empty
considering the
wonderfulness of my
precious little friend.
Is there a prayer I can
say that lets God know
how thankful I am for
His gift to me of my
little companion?
Thank you. Hunter
______________________________________________________
Hunter:
When you pray, tell God
that you are very happy
that He in His mighty
love for you, sent your
little dog just for you.
He, will listen to your
thankfulness and
knows you are very
grateful to Him for
sending this precious
little dog to you. God
is good and will
listen
to what you want to say
about His everlasting
love to you. Enjoy your
little friend.
Here is a little prayer
below:
Heavenly
Father, I am grateful
for the precious little
dog who
has made my life so full
of joy. My special
little friend has made
me complete.
Thank you for Your
Everlasting love for
me. I pray this in the
name of You Son, Jesus
Christ
AMEN
Enjoy God's gift!! May
the Lord continue to
bless you. -
CatholicView Staff
"My husband is ill
and I cannot get to Mass
because of
circumstance. Are
we in a state of sin?" -
Theresa
CatholicView Staff:
Here's my question: I
was up all night sick,
very painful sore throat
and hard time
swallowing. My husband
is
ill and I have to get
him back to the ER and I
don't have a way for our
daughter to get to Mass
so the 3 of us will miss
Mass today. Are we in a state of
sin? I apologize for
dumb question. Thank
you and God bless you. -
Theresa
_____________________________________________________
Theresa:
Please do not worry.
The God you serve sees
and knows all things.
He knows you have been
sick and that your
husband is ill. And you
are not in a state of
sin. Your Heavenly
Father also understands
that you and your
daughter cannot get to
Mass because of your
circumstances which are
beyond your control.
Since your hands are
full with taking care of
your husband and
yourself, and when you
are able to return home,
give recognition to God
by reading a chapter of
the Bible and praying
together with your
daughter.
May the Lord be with you
during this stressful
time. Know that our
Father sees what you are
going through. May God
bless you and your
family. Be at peace. -
CatholicView Staff
Are sins that are
forgiven and due
punishment for
those sins will be wiped
away?" Margaret
CatholicView Staff:
Thank you for your ministry.
Are sins that are forgiven (with Sacrament of Reconciliation) and
all due punishment for
those sins wiped away
(Indulgence) still going
to be "revealed" on
Judgment Day?
Thank you.
Sincerely, Margaret
________________________________________________________
Margaret:
All sins that are
forgiven by our Heavenly
Father are wiped
completely and totally
away. God forgives
our sins, but He also
FORGETS our sins if
we are truly sorry and
ask forgiveness for
committing them.
For example: In
Isaiah 43:25
God tells us, ""I,
even I, am He that
blotteth out thy
transgressions for mine
own sake, and will not
remember thy sins."
And
Psalm 103:12
tells
us "He
has removed our sins as
far from us
as the East is from the
West.
In Isaiah 43:25 God
tells us,
"And
As far
as the East is from the
West, so far hath He
removed our
transgressions from
us." And
Micah 7:19 reads:
"You (God) will again
have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins
underfoot and hurl all
our iniquities into the
depths of the sea."
-
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Micah+7:19&version=NIV"
God
does not lie to us.
Why? Because He loves
us! If we ask for
forgiveness but do not
mean it or continue in
sin, God will know this.
When we become a child
of God,
we become a brand new
creation, we move
forward, after asking
for forgiveness of sin.
We pray for strength,
and walk forward with
courage, fortifying
ourselves against satan
and his wiles.
Philippians 3:13 tells
us
"...I
press on toward the goal
to win the prize for
which God has called me
heavenward in Christ
Jesus."
And
so, when we are
forgiven, thank and rely
on God, and do our best
to avoid sin in the
future. God bless you
always.-
CatholicView Staff
"How long should a
Catholic keep a jar of
Holy Water?
Can it go bad?"
- Richard
CatholicView Staff:
My question: Catholics sometimes, if not often, bring home a jar of
Holy water from their
local parish for the
purpose of blessing
their homes. How long
does a Catholic keep
this jar of Holy Water
before he must
eventually toss out the
Holy Water? In short,
can Holy Water go bad?
- Richard
________________________________________________________
Richard:
Thank you for your
question.
Holy Water is water that
has been blessed by a
member of the clergy or
a religious figure.
But it can be disposed
of. One way for you to
dispose of your Holy
water is to find a place
in your yard. The Holy
Water must be poured
into the ground in a
place that would be
safe from dogs, etc..
The water will sink down
and eventually dry up.
In the Catholic Church
there is usually a
special sink called the
"sacrarium" which
connects directly to the
ground and disposes
contaminated Holy Water.
See also the following: "http://www.catholiculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=3802
by Fr. William
Saunders. Father
Saunders tells:
"Polluted or
excess Holy Water must
be poured into the
ground. (and) Palms are
to be burned, the ashes
then used
for distribution on Ash
Wednesday or returned to
the ground. A broken
rosary or religious
statue normally would be
buried. In all, the
underlying idea is that
what has been dedicated
to God should be
returned to God. Never
should one just "throw
out" what has been
dedicated
underlying idea is that
what has been dedicated
to God should be
returned to God. Never
should one just "throw
out" what has been
to God. The general
rule regarding the
disposal of blessed
objects is to either
burn or place in the
ground - but not throw
it into trash or a drain
that leads to the
sewer……." Please
be sure to always
cherish the blessed
religious objects at
home, venerate them with
piety, and when
necessary, dispose of
them properly."
-
Fr. Saunders is pastor
of Our Lady of Hope
Church in Potomac Falls.
If your Holy Water has
been "used" many times,
it should be carefully
disposed of, and you
will want to get new
Holy Water. Hope this
helps. -
CatholicView Staff
"Are Catholics obligated
to boycott every company
that
donates to planned
parenthood? - Staci
CatholicView Staff:
Are Catholics obligated
to boycott every company
that donates to planned
parenthood? I see that
LDI has a boycott list
published every year. I have spent my life
using products from
these companies,
oblivious to their
charitable giving
patterns. It never
occurred to me to ask. I just found out about
the list. I realize
that sacrifices should
be made to be a good
Catholic. I’m just
wondering
whether strict adherence
to this list is
necessary to me
remaining free of mortal
sin. If I buy coffee
from the company listed,
or watch a
TV show from a certain
network or visit a
certain amusement park
(in which company we own
a timeshare!), am I
cooperating with
evil?
Thank
you. - Stacie
________________________________________________________
Stacie:
As Catholic Christians,
we know that planned
Parenthood is something
that God will never
sanction. Let
the Holy Spirit guide
your conscience and then
follow it.
Many times, Planned Parenthood means taking the life of an unborn
child in order for the
parents to be free
to move on with their
own earthly lives,
ignoring the precious
life that God gives. As
believing Christians, we
cannot and must not
sanction this.
Follow your heart. Do
not buy products or
clothing, etc. from
companies who continue
to support the abortion
industry. Through these
efforts, along with
pro-life legislators’
efforts to end federal
funding of Planned
Parenthood, we can make
a difference in our
country.
If we know that a
particular company is
aiding others to
encourage this
horrendous sin of
killing an infant, we
must avoid spending our
money there for this
allows the company the
choice of controlling
and taking the
lives of these babies.
Planned Parenthood has been
at the center of
controversy over, among
other things,
allegations it is
harvesting and selling
aborted fetal organs.
Planned Parenthood is 50
percent funded by the
government and 25
percent funded from
corporate sponsorship.
They warn that many of
these companies may be
part of your retirement
plans and they are
listed on the S&P 500
and Fortune 500. So be
aware and make sure you
are not supporting them
as an investor! Please
check the following:
http://www.catholicnewbie.com/tweet-these-companies-that-support-planned-parenthood/
As Catholics, we must
pay strict attention to
which companies support
Planned Parenthood.
Almighty God Who sees
all things, will bless
you for your efforts of
standing up as
Christians to defend
unborn babies.
Again,
Let the Holy Spirit
guide your conscience
and then follow it. God
be with you. -
CatholicView Staff
"My husband and I were
raised as Catholics but
were not
practicing our faith.
My husband moved away
from the faith
but allowed my daughter
to be baptized. What
are my options
since I cannot take
communion? - Ashley
CatholicView Staff:
My husband and I (both
raised as
Catholics) were married
in a civil union. At the
time, we were not
practicing our faith,
but we did attend
Pre-Cana requirements.
I had experienced some
health problems and I
was struggling with my
faith. He started to
move away from the faith
for other personal
reasons. We had a
daughter and he allowed
me to baptize her
Catholic with the
agreement she could be
brought up in the
church. She now attends
Catholic school. I have
experienced a calling
from the Holy Spirit
to go back to the church
and be a full
member and I would like
to have our marriage
co-validated. My
husband has not
experienced this calling
and will not agree to
this request. What are
my options, as I cannot
take communion as it
stands. I currently
attend Mass every week
with my daughter and he
does not choose to go
with us. I respect his
decision, and I am
trying to balance my
respect for his feelings
and my desire to fully
participate in
the Sacrament of the
Eucharist. Thank you. -
Ashley
__________________________________________________________
Ashley:
I am pleased to hear
that you have encouraged
your daughter to be
baptized in the Catholic
Faith. And I am happy
that you have
experiencing a calling
from the Holy Spirit to
come back to the Church
yourself, but sorry to
hear that your husband
does not want to attend
Mass or have your
marriage co-validated.
I strongly suggest that
you speak with your
priest. Tell him of
your desires and
concerns. Ask him
what should you do about
your marriage situation.
Let him help you to
move forward to becoming
a full member. If your
husband does not want to
return to his faith, do
not let this stop you
from being a full
pledged member along
with your daughter. And
by your sacred actions,
he may desire to follow
in your footsteps to the
Lord one day. We will
pray for your husband.
- CatholicView Staff
"I have been trying to
fight masturbation. If
I give in and try
to quit again, does this sin mean I cannot
be forgiven?"
- Mike
CatholicView Staff:
I understand that Hebrew
10:26 says that if we
deliberately sin, we
cannot be forgiven. I
have been trying to
fight masturbation (I
masturbated to images),
and I WANT to give into
the temptations
sometimes. If I give
in, and try to quit
again, does this
scripture still apply to
me? I obviously know
that it is a sin, and
I'm doing it anyway, but
I do eventually want to
quit. I'm very afraid
of hell. So if giving
into the temptation
means I have a chance of
going to hell, please
tell me! - Mike
__________________________________________________________
Mike:
You are right in
thinking that you are
sinning by continuing to
masturbate. God cares
what we do with our
bodies. You must ask
yourself: "why am I
abusing myself by
masturbating?" But know
you are abusing
yourself because you are
doing something that God
entrusted in your care
and that is your body.
God cares about what
you are doing, in public
or in private, and you
are defiling your mind
with obscene thoughts
and then defiling
yourself by using it to
act out masturbation
thoughts. To “defile”
means doing something
“to make unclean, to
make impure.”
James 1:14-15
tells us that “every man
is tempted, when he is
drawn away of his own
lust, and enticed. Then
when lust hath
conceived, it bringeth
forth sin; and sin, when
it is finished, bringeth
forth death.” And in
Matthew 15:19-20 it
reads, “For out of the
heart proceed evil
thoughts, murders,
adulteries,
fornications… these are
the things which defile
a man.” Sin begins
with a thought, but you
are giving in to the
thought of masturbation
and you have been acting
out with that thought.
The more you act out
this sin, the more you
are moving deeper into
this abuse. Stop and
think carefully before
giving in to sin. Know
that our Heavenly Father
sees and knows all
things. When you think
about what you continue
to do, pray for the
courage and the strength
to bypass this by being
strong in the Lord.
Masturbation is a grave
and mortal sin. Do not
become enslaved by it.
Use the power of prayer
to rid yourself of this
need. Ask the Lord to
forgive past sins and
ask Him to move you
forward to avoid this
lust in the future.
Let your mind be free.
You must stop, think hard and pray because life is never promised
to any of us.
Hope this helps. -
CatholicView Staff
"
I like to arrive at the
Church 30 minutes before
Mass starts
and sometimes take my
knitting but put it away
at Mass
time. Is this
appropriate?" - Mary
CatholicView Staff:
I like to arrive at the
church 30 minutes early
before Mass starts,
just to sit for a while
in silence. Sometimes,
I take my knitting and
work on my project up
till the time Mass
starts. I put it away
during Mass. My mom
said that this isn't
appropriate. Can you
tell me if it is ok, as
long as I say my prayers
after entering the pew,
and I don't knit during
the service. Thank
you. - Mary
________________________________________________________
Mary:
Pre-Mass at Church is a
place where we spend our
time meditating, reading
the Bible, praying, or
thinking of God's love
while we wait for the
Mass to start. If you
come to Church early,
spend your time in
prayer or reflecting on
God's goodness and
love. Although knitting
can be quiet, the
Catholic Church is not a
place to do this. To
bring your knitting to
Church may distract,
disturb, and hinder
others who may come
early to quietly pray
and meditate. Your
mother is right in
this. Hope this helps.
May the Lord bless you.
- CatholicView
Staff
"I am having difficulty
understanding
sanctification and
justification.
What do Catholics
believe about this
topic?" - Monique
CatholicView Staff:
I was having difficulty
understanding
sanctification and
justification. I was
learning in theology
about John Wesley’s two
degrees of faith and
grace. I wanted to
know as Catholics what
we believe about this
topic. Thank You. -
Monique
______________________________________________________
Monique:
Thank you for writing to
us. Sanctification is
the act or process of
acquiring sanctity, of
being made or becoming
Holy. It
means to
purify
or make you
free
from
sin.
The first
sanctification takes place at baptism. It is a gift
given through the power
of God to all who come
to believe in our
Almighty Father. It is
also considered sacred
or set apart in an
official capacity within
our religion and it
takes place in the
believer who willingly
accepts this gift from
God. Anyone who
willingly takes this can
be sanctified.
Justification is
the work of God alone on
the part of the adult
with the cooperation of
his free will with God's
precious and helping
grace. Since neither
charity nor good works
contribute anything
towards justification,
in as much as faith
alone justifies. There
is only one thing that
might possibly divest us
of justification is the
loss of faith.
To be justified means
being made righteous,
just, holy, and
acceptable before God.
Romans 3:22-24 reads: "This
righteousness is given
through faith in Jesus
Christ to all who
believe. There is no
difference between Jew
and Gentile,
for all have sinned and
fall short of the glory
of God,
and all are justified
freely by His grace
through the redemption
that came by Christ
Jesus." Also read
Romans Verse 26
which tells us: " For
there is no distinction:
for all have sinned and
fall short of the glory
of God, and are
justified by his grace
as a gift, through the
redemption that is in
Christ Jesus." Our
justification comes to
us freely, because of
the price that Jesus
paid on our behalf. God
extends this grace to
sinners and is "just and
the justifier of the one
who has faith in Jesus"
"There
are five elements of
Justification the
Catholic Church tells
us, which defines its
full meaning. The five
purposes of
justification is the
honor of God and of
Christ; its secondary
purpose is the eternal
life of mankind. The
main efficient cause or
agent is the mercy of
God; with the main
instrumental cause being
the sacrament of
baptism, that is called
the “sacrament of faith”
to spell out the
necessity of faith for
salvation. And that
which constitutes
justification or its
essence is the justice
of God, “not by which He
is just Himself, but by
which He makes us
just,” namely
sanctifying grace."
This is an
act
of
God
whereby
humankind
is
made
or
accounted
JUST,
or
free
from
guilt
or
penalty
of
sin.
I hope
this helps a bit.
-
CatholicView
Staff
"My husband did not tell
me that he was married
before.
How can I handle this?"
- Faith
CatholicView Staff:
I grew up going to a
Catholic school but I
was not Catholic at the
time. My dad was
an elder in the church
and we were Pentecostal.
Although our church
recognized divorce, my
dad taught me that one
only truly married once.
When I met my now
husband, I asked him if
he had ever been married
and he told me no.
Neither one of us were
Catholic when we
married. However,
later on after we were
married and we had known
each other for a very
long time, my sister in
law told me that he had
been married before and
I found out about it.
We have two children and
we put them in Catholic
school. Because of
being there, we found
our family wanting to be
Catholic. We went
through RCIA but found
out that my husband and
I can't take the
Eucharist because he
needs an annulment from
his first wife. Well, my
conscience tells me that
I did nothing wrong.
I asked about previous
marriages and he
deceived me and also
we're not having sex so
I don't even feel guilty
of fornication. I
understand why he should
probably not take the
Eucharist until he gets
the annulment (if it's
even given to him) but I
don't understand what
I've done that's a sin
in this case. Can
you please clarify my
sin in this situation
for me? - Faith
_________________________________________________________
Faith:
I am sadden to hear that
your husband kept his
first marriage secret.
Your husband must seek
an annulment immediately
so that you and your
children, as well as he,
will be able to move
forward in the Church.
He owes this as a
husband and father to
you and his children.
But he
needs to talk to a
priest if he wants to
honor this marriage in
the Catholic Church.
Sit down with your
husband. Let him know
that he must straighten
this situation out, not
only for himself but for
you and your precious
children. He needs to
get a dispensation and
annulment from this
first marriage in order
for your present
marriage to be valid.
A Catholic annulment
from this first
marriage, also known as
a declaration of nullity
or invalidity, is a
statement of fact by the
Catholic Church. And
if
possible, encourage him
to discuss this matter
with the priest at your
Church. Your husband
must take this first
step immediately!
After carefully
examining that first
marriage, the priest
will most likely cite
that the first marriage
was an invalid one, and
as the Church defines
marriage, never
existed. A Catholic
annulment, known as a
declaration of nullity
or invalidity, is a
statement of fact by the
Catholic Church. The priest will certainly inform him that until he moves forward
and gets an annulment
from that first
marriage, he is still
married to the first
wife in the eyes of the
Church.
May the Lord touch your
husband's heart and make
your marriage official
in the eyes of God and
Church. -
CatholicView Staff
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