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”I have been experiencing a real crisis in faith lately. Any thoughts on this?” - Kristen Father Kevin:
Dear Kristen: Thank you for your question. You are obviously asking because you are seeking some kind of meaning in your 'lack of faith" at this time. Our faith journey is such a personal project and only we can take proper authority for it, so I am aware that this is your sacred ground we are walking on. Clear-cut "religious" answers are not particularly helpful I think. It's enough to be on the journey, to be exploring for where you find your meaning and trusting in that. I think Jesus trusted and encouraged people to take their own journeys of discovery. Truth and life come in many different guises and we each have the responsibility and the privilege of being able to explore that for ourselves. Having said that, for me the story of Jesus just makes the most profound sense of life, and of the many issues for which there are no clear directions or solutions, His way of approaching these issues is the best I've come across. His stubborn refusal to let fear, doubt, unresolved anger, prejudice and so on have the last word is a wonderful and challenging invitation to me to allow the things of life to have the last word always. So I'd encourage you to keep listening and exploring, and to allow love to take hold of you and gift you, and then see where that leads. Love sets no conditions, and is given without expectations. I can't think of anything more delightful and freeing, especially when sin is part of our make-up and we want to keep love out. God reckons that nothing we can come up with is a match of love given unconditionally. All good wishes on your search. - Father Kevin
Hi Paul: I don't know the answer to this, one of the oldest questions in the book. Why does God allow suffering? Why does God allow the brutalities of war, famine, rampant AIDS, and mental disability? I don't know. The msytery of suffering is the great frontier that we will never understand well enough I suppose. I think we can safely say that our greatest growth and learning of life comes from our experiences of suffering - our own sufferings and the suffering of those we love and for whom we care. Does God love these people less than others? Of course not. Is their condition the result of God's action? We can't say that. Does God allow these conditions? Yes. Why? Who knows? Maybe it's so that we will ask these questions, grow in compassion and work to eradicate such sufferings or heal them or bring peace in the midst of them. Why did God allow Jesus to die on the Cross? Same kind of question and I ask this today on Good Friday. Perhaps he opens his arms in suffering, so that we can start to make sense of our own and our world's pain and find hope even there. It's the greatest mystery eh! All good wishes. – Father Kevin Dear Father Kevin:
Dear Dana: Thank you for your humble and yearning
question. I think it is a sign that we are growing when we move beyond a simple
acceptance of everything and start to doubt, to question and to wonder. The advice
you received to continue the struggle is not such bad advice. What else can you do
other than to keep exploring your heart and your experiences for truth and meaning?
St John of the Cross once described God as being always the unfamiliar one. I
think he was saying that God is always a great mystery - God's existence rests on our
faith if you like, the darkness of our faith where at the end of the day, all we can do is
to surrender to the questions and to the mystery. Given that life is such a beautiful gift,
given that family is such a precious gift to you, and given that you are free and able to
explore and question - that is not such a bad thing and not such bad evidence that there
is ultimate meaning in life. Ultimate meaning, meaning a Love that our hearts yearn
for even without knowing it, is not bad evidence that that love has to be possible
somewhere and somehow, and that love of course is what we mean by God.
A friend of mine said recently "ducks wouldn't look for water if there
wasn't any”. Likewise I think our hearts wouldn't look for God, for ultimate
love if there wasn't any! Every good wish to you as you continue to struggle like the rest of us to make sense of this mysterious journey we're all on. - Father Kevin
FATHER AMARO
SAUMELL What is the Catholic Church's viewpoint on
Freemasonry? I am considering joining. – Matt
Dear Matt, Kevin, and Mike: Because I received three questions
concerning FreeMasonry, I am sending you a link to an excellent and very comprehensive
article that can answer your questions with no stone unturned. http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=2652 Hope it helps. God bless, Father Amaro
Father: I have a question regarding mortal sins,
venial sins and imperfections. I find myself
being scrupulous when it comes to analyzing my conscience with regards to the two
distinctions of sin; mortal and venial. For example, I had some personal business that I
needed to take care of and the only time I could take care of it was on company time while
I was at work. It ended up taking up 3/4 of my day. Needless to say I feel quite bad about
this and feel that I am guilty of stealing from my employer. In past jobs I've had bosses
to OK such activity because they said that they have been in similar situations. First,
what should I do? Should I go to confession? And secondly, how do I keep from
over-analyzing "sin" to the point that I feel I can't enjoy my life in Christ
that I am trying to lead? I never want to allow myself to exist in a state of mortal sin,
but at the same time I don't want this to be my primary focus in my spiritual life. Thanks
and God bless. - Kevin Dear Kevin, Actually, it is good to see that someone
takes sin seriously. Yes, some people are overly scrupulous. Good examples of this are
those who come to confession stating that they missed mass. Upon inquiry, the priest finds
out that he or she had 104 degree temperature and was in bed. That would be taking
scrupulosity to a fault! But the situation of which you speak is indeed serious, for you
accepted a salary to do a job as you did something else. Avoidance of sin because it
separates you from Our God who loves us most definitely is something that takes away from
the focus of a spiritual life. In examining this, you are having an experience with truth.
Jesus is the truth, the way, and the life. So, you are having an experience, albeit one of
being disciplined, with Christ. It is a sign of His love. And, if allowed, the Holy Spirit
will show you how to place all your personal, spiritual, and material needs in balance to
reconcile the covenantal relationship you have with God. You are most definitely on the
right track. (Although I fear this is not what you wanted to read here.) Father Amaro: I am in RCIA and am preparing for my first confession. I realize that I have committed sins that I'm not sorry for. It feels wrong to ask forgiveness for something I'm not sorry for. What should I do? Jen Dear Jen, Well, here we go again. OH, when I was a
nightclub singer, I hated when someone asked me for the song, “Feelings...wo-wo-wo-
feelings...” Why? Because they have little or nothing to do with convictions. When we come to fully realize what sin is
and how it contradicts what is intended for us, we come to conviction. No, maybe we
don’t get emotional about it. Or, maybe we need to check our “pride
department” that is unwilling to learn the horror of offending the God that loves us.
Our sins always contradict the nature of God, which is life giving, productive, and
self-emptying. Often our old nature takes over and we don’t want to surrender to
truth. Sin is always damaging. When we examine and
discover the damage, we always come to sorrow. It may not be an emotional sorrow of
feelings. But it always comes to the intellectual sorrow of conviction. Jesus is the
“truth” the way and the life. Any experience with truth and its embrace is an
experience with Christ, even and especially those that come to the realization of our
imperfection without Him.
Father Amaro: I feel like I need a checklist to determine
if relations with my wife are sinful or not. Our children are grown, and I'm trying to
take my faith more seriously. Reading the Catechism, and also a Catholic apologetics web
site, has left me thinking the Church has elaborate rules to determine if intimacy - even
in a "mature" marriage - is sinful. It's like I need to examine myself each
time: Have I "objectified" my wife? Am I looking at her immodestly? Am I
touching her appropriately? Will our physical encounter be "chaste" enough as
called for by the Catechism? Since the Catechism says "lust" includes the
"inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure," are we committing lust by enjoying
each other "too much?" Are we exhibiting too much passion? Am I looking forward
too much to a romantic encounter? Is there a time limit beyond which our embrace becomes
"inordinately pleasurable? I never thought of myself as scrupulous, but it seems like
the Church has many rules that govern the most intimate moments of sacramentally-married
couples. It's really affected how I feel about intimacy. At this point in our lives,
losing the ability to find joy and worry-free pleasure in marital relations after decades
of life together is a high price to pay for taking faith more seriously. - Patrick Dear Patrick, It sounds like you are reading too much into
what you’ve read. Basically, all you have to remember is that your lovemaking is a
gift to each other and is a tender expression of your unity as a Sacrament. It is not
lustful to love your spouse. You are touching her affectionately. There was a heresy that entered the Church
years ago called Jansenism. It pretty much said that we and our bodies are pretty wretched
and dirty. It completely left out that God designed the unitive and procreative
presentation of love in sex. Some remnants of this thinking still are around today. Does Jesus express too much passion for us?
Is that possible? He wants us to be with him so much that he removed every impediment to
our union with Him as His Bride. He says, “This is my Body, which is given up for
you.” Isn’t that what you said in other words on your wedding day? Isn’t
the fullness of your life and union as exciting as ours with Christ? That yearning is not
lust. If you were being lustful, you wouldn’t be life giving. One or both of you would have and experience of merely being exploited. That’s not what you’re describing. I’m sure the Evil One would love to ruin what you have. As a celibate person, I gave up the
opportunity to have the relationship you have. When you got married, you gave up certain
things that I have, for you have forsaken certain freedoms. Our lives complement each
other. But if people aren’t living what I gave up, then I gave up nothing and my
celibacy is worthless. These sacrifices are very meaningful. So, go give some meaning to
my celibacy. :-) Enjoy the heaven part of your sacrament and just keep giving! Then
we’ll both be revealing the fullness of the Gospel of love, the Bride waiting for the
groom's arrival, and the fullness of joy and passion of their unity and gives us all hope. In other words, “Go for it!”
CatholicView staff: What is a mortal sin? The CCC says it has to be of "serious nature" (the other two conditions are easy to understand -- full knowledge and consent). How does one go about discerning of a sin is of a serious nature without the concern of rationalizing? Dear Ralph: Thank you for your question. The Catholic Church teaches as stated in the Catechism of the Catholic Church what conditions are necessary for one to be guilty of a mortal sin. Paragraph 1852 states, "For sin to be Mortal, three conditions must TOGETHER be met: Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave (serious) matter and which is also committed with FULL knowledge and DELIBERATE consent". Mortal sin is a grave offense against God's law. By mortal sin a person turns away from God and so loses the gift of charity and sanctifying grace. Mortal sin takes away the merit of the person's previous good actions and deprives one of the right to eternal happiness in heaven. With one act alone one can freely commit a mortal sin when these three conditions are present. If one should die in this state of mortal sin without repenting and asking for forgiveness he or she will have chosen to reject God's grace and to be eternally separated from Him in Hell. In fact until they repent they are rejecting God's grace of forgiveness and have no relationship with him until they turn back to Him, repent (plus make a sacramental confession) as soon as possible and accept His Grace. All sin is an
offense against God and a rejection of His perfect love and justice. Yet, Jesus makes a
distinction between two types of sins. We call the most serious and grave sins, mortal
sins. Mortal sins destroy the grace of God in the heart of the sinner. In Galations 5:19-20 it states “Now the works
of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness,
lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife,
seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, reveling, and such like: of the which
I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things
shall not inherit the kingdom of God”. The
Church also tells us that the sins of anger, blasphemy, envy, hatred, malice, murder,
neglect of Sunday obligation, sins against faith (incredulity against God or heresy), sins
against hope (obstinate despair in the hope for salvation and/or presumption that oneself
can live without God or be saved by one’s own power) and sins against love
(indifference towards charity, ingratitude, and/or hatred of God) also constitute grave
matter.
My soul is tormented by another Catholic parishioner. My first upset, of which I am still not over, is when she told me one day that she felt she was turning on one of the priests with her confessions. I told her with charity that she should go to another priest. She continues to see this priest and will announce to me when she has an appointment for the Sacrament. She gossips about me in the parish. She mocks me when I serve at social dinners. I do the bulletin and she seemingly takes delight in pointing out errors (9 years now). She is very nosey and constantly reports petty gossip to the pastor that is hurtful and causes division. I committed a terrible sin in my youth that took me many years and many reconciliations to feel forgiven of. She knows my sin and will namedrop it to others in my presence, such as "Can you believe that someone would do such a thing?" She just seems to know my weaknesses and I am finding it more and more difficult to keep my emotions from getting away from me. I have confessed my difficulty with maintaining a parish friendship with her. My position requires me to associate with her several days a week; whenever I am around her I feel that I am sinning in my heart because of my anger and lack of forgiveness. Father, I have confessed this on many occasions and want to forgive but feel helpless when feelings of anger and unforgiveness return when I am around her. I feel she is an occasion of sin for me. There is much more but I won't go into it all. My question is this; I prefer to stay away from her, even if it means missing parish retreats and socials (some events she even speaks as a spiritual leader). When I miss, I feel it hurts my Pastor which hurts me even more. I have asked local priests for deliverance prayers over me but for whatever reason, the good Lord has not given me the grace to be free of my feelings. Is it a sin to stay away from another Catholic who troubles my heart so very much and whom I feel is a near occasion of sin for me? I am very troubled. – LMS Dear LMS: I am saddened to hear of your problems with
your fellow parishioner. You
must not allow this person to take control of your life. If you do this, she will continue to harass and
makes things difficult for you. Take charge
for the Lord is on your side. Tell her
“I may have made mistakes in the past but by the power of Christ’s blood I have
been forgiven. He approves of me. My past has been forgotten in God’s eyes so
what gives you the right to spread gossip that is none of your business?” Do not be addicted to guilt. Realize right now she is NOT your friend and her
behavior must stop immediately. She is not behaving as a Christian should. Unfortunately some people who make trouble for
others have many problems themselves. Don’ t play in her mode. With God’s Grace hold your head high as God
wants you to do with His grace. When she tells you about personal things that happen in
the confessional, put your foot down and tell this person in no uncertain terms that you
do not want to be privy to such information. And
tell her that when she goes into the confessional to remember that God is in there too
listening to her outrageous talk and she will have to ask forgiveness for her immoral
conversation there. Then walk away from her. If this continues you must inform the
priest about what she is saying outside the confessional so he will know WHO she is
and WHAT she is doing. This person apparently
can only feel worthy when she tears others down. You have faced your past and succeeded. Be proud of yourself as a Christian Catholic, for
you are very active in your Church, serving the Lord in many wonderful ways. Those who are forced to hear her spread her
unkindness really do not believe all she says anymore.
You must pray that she comes to an understanding about her actions. Keep reminding her that you are praying for her
but you will not continue to let her control and insult you with her meanness. Put distance between you but continue all
the great things you are doing in the Church. Do
not let her keep you from the joys in your Church.
Hold your head up and show her what a true Christian is about. If she loves the Lord at all, she will feel
ashamed. -
CatholicView Staff
”I am divorced
and living with my fiancé. Can I take
communion?” - Judy CatholicView Staff: Dear Judy: You ask whether you can receive communion with your current marital status. You are correct in saying you cannot receive communion while living with someone who is not your husband. This is adultery. You have broken several rules of the Church. The first is that you never had your first marriage blessed nor annulled within the Church. And your fiancé never received an annulment from his first Catholic marriage. You must first see your parish priest to speak about the issues concerning your and your fiancé’s previous marriages before taking the Sacrament of Communion. Also you cannot take communion if you are living in sin with your fiancé. I am sure your priest will help you to get back on track with the Church. Do not delay. – CatholicView Staff
Dear Phil: It is wonderful that you want to spend your golden years with your ex-wife. If you love each other, you will want to make things right. To live without sharing intimacy is putting yourselves at risk of committing sexual sin. You say you want to spend your golden years together so why not move forward and make things right with the Church? I would suggest you go to another parish, and sit down with a priest, laying out all the reasons you must not marry. Listen to his advice and carry it through. Even though there is no sex involved, you are indulging in an occasion of sin by being in close proximity with someone you love and want to share a life together. If you possibly can, try to sort out the financial details and do what you know is right. Remarry your beloved ex-wife. – Catholicview Staff CatholicView Staff:
Dear Judy: No, the wedding must be performed in the Church. See your priest for details. – CatholicView Staff
Dear Laya: There is no significance in Holy Water accidentally sprinkled on you. You are not a Catholic. God bless. – CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Dear Louise: I am so sorry to hear that your mother refuses
to listen to you about your father’s abuse. Perhaps
she is afraid to know the truth. I think you
must sit down and tell her that you WILL NOT have your children exposed to your
father’s behavior. It is not only
inappropriate but if the Child Protective Services find out what is happening, your dad
will be in serious trouble. Tell you mother
that you will not continue to visit if your dad cannot behave himself. Make sure you tell him you will report him to the
authorities if he does not stop and he will find himself in jail. If she refuses to listen then you have no other
recourse than to remove yourself along with your children from their presence. Please see your parish priest and insist your mother go with you. Sit down with the priest and talk this grave matter through. May the Lord be with you during this crisis. – Catholicview Staff
“Is there a way to stop my
ex-girlfriend’s marriage?” - Bob CatholicView staff: Dear Bob: I am sincerely sorry you have suffered the loss of your ex girlfriend. Because we love someone, it does not always mean the other person will return that love. Sadly we can never make another person love us, try as we will. As hard as it is, you must first love yourself enough to let go of a past love if it is not reciprocated and move on. There will be another who will appreciate all you have to offer. Sometimes an old love fails to recognize all the good qualities you have but another will. God has someone else in mind for you. Be patient and know that He understands your pain. For now, move beyond your past, look to the future with hope for you are someone special too. You time will come and your heart will be filled with love again. I will pray for your peace and joy. - CatholicView Staff “My wife had treatment for cancer
recently. Should I insist she fast for
Lent?” - Sam CatholicView Staff: Thank you for yours site which is very
informative, but I have an important question: I told my wife in no uncertain terms
that she must fast and abstain during lent. Now she is mad at me because she just finished
treatments (surgery, chemo, and radiation) just six months ago, is back to work full-time,
and presently has a bad cold. Please advise. Thank you very much! Dear Sam: Your wife has had serious medical treatments in the past and she is not exactly well now with a cold. Even though she is back to work full-time, she needs her strength. She has to have sustenance that will give her strength and health to do what is expected of her. I must tell you in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, you are wrong to demand anyone to fast and abstain during Lent or any time of year when that person needs to pay attention to one’s health. God does not want us to be sick or want us to be put in an unhealthy situation. Fasting and abstinence are for those who are able to do this kind of spiritual exercise. Not everyone can do this. Your wife needs to get completely well and she needs to make that decision on her own. You cannot demand anyone to do anything. You cannot control another person (for true love is supportive not demanding or controlling—read I Corinthians, Chapter 13). Your wife must be free to do any spiritual exercise that she wants to do, and when she wants. Her spiritual relationship to God is different from yours as well as her path to God’s love is different from yours. Your spiritual needs and experiences are different from hers. You cannot impose your spiritual path on someone else even if that someone else is your wife or family. I must tell you again in as clear a way as I can: you are wrong in this case. May the Lord bless you and your family with good health always. – Catholicview Staff
“I have the gift of healing but sometimes I feel doubt. Does this doubt hinder the outcome?” - Brian CatholicView Staff: Brian: You are absolutely right when you say that your gift of healing comes by God’s hand. To be presumptuous and say that your doubt takes away God’s healing is erroneous. You are not in control of God’s power for you are just a tool as we all are. Your doubt is a human element and nothing more. Pray earnestly and keep your faith alive. If the Lord chooses to use you for His glory, know that you are blessed. – Catholicview Staff CatholicView
Staff:
Dear
James You are
close in quoting scripture here. Here is the
actual scripture, from Luke, Chapter 1, Verses 28-30:
The angel said to her: Rejoice
so highly favored! The Lord is with you! And then we go further in that account to
Verse 43: Of all women you are the most
blessed and blessed is the fruit of your womb. But
who am I that the mother of my Lord should come to me? And further in verse 48: Yes, from this day all generations will call me
blessed. This sounds like what you are
quoting in your question. – CatholicView
Staff CatholicView Staff: Dear Marie: I am sorry to hear that you have a problem controlling your anger. But it seems you are trying to do the right thing by going to confession. You know your actions were wrong and you are trying very hard to be the person Jesus Christ wants you to be. God understands your dilemma and is waiting to help you. Pray and ask the Lord to strengthen you so that you will seek help. Know He has already forgiven you because you are sincerely sorry for your past actions. He now wants you to move ahead, forgetting the past for it is over and done with. He is aware that you are trying hard never to repeat your anger. But you need some help. It is very important that you talk with your parish priest for guidance. Also you might want to speak to an appropriate counselor about your problem. Get the help that you need right now. Keep looking to the future knowing you are obtaining guidance and are in God’s friendship. Catholicview Staff
”Can my US Marine fiancé and I get married civilly before he is deplored to Iraq?” - Mary CatholicView
Staff Mary: You should immediately talk to your military chaplain about your concerns. There is a way: you can get married in the church at your local military chapel and plan the big wedding ceremony later. You should have God’s blessing on your marriage before your Marine fiancé goes to his next overseas assignment. – CatholicView Staff CatholicView
Staff: Patricia: It is time to become reconciled with your past and to really put your faith in action, especially the faith you have in our merciful Lord. It is time to synchronize your life and your faith. Not to do so would only make you a hypocrite. There are many parishes that have screened confessionals. I suggest that you go to the parish of your choice (you probably don't want to go to your parish priest and that's understandable and acceptable). Make that needed confession that will get your life "in sync" (reconciled) with your faith. By doing so, you will be able to talk to others about the mercy of God not just from your intellect but also from your own experience and heart. Not to do so will keep your faith trapped by your fear of the past. – CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: What does AC and BC mean? Does it just mean after
Christ and before Christ? - Linsy Linsy: In the Gregorian calendar (named after Pope Gregory who designed the solar calendar that we use today), BC means BEFORE CHRIST, and AD means ANNO DOMINI (Latin), or “in the year of our Lord.” So, in the Gregorian calendar, everything before the first Christmas (the birth of Christ in Bethlehem) is B.C. Everything after the first Christmas is A.D. – CatholicView Staff
Anna: Thank
you for your question. When two people love
each other it is difficult to be in such close proximity in a house without sexual sin. You have been taught to avoid all occasions of
sin. Catholicview wants to state emphatically
that you cannot live within the same house. Please
consider that you are also sending the wrong signals to your brothers and sisters and
those who know you.. I would suggest that you
go and discuss this matter with a priest. –
CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Matthew: God has forgiven you in the sacrament of Penance. There is no need to go back and have a “general confession” unless there is an absolute need to do so. From what you have told me, you have been honest and open in your confessions and have tried to overcome your sexual addictions as you described them. Be at peace for the Lord Jesus has ALREADY died for your sins on the cross. Now, He wants you to go forward and not look back. It is time to control the driving obsessions that have taken your peace of mind away. For you, there is no need for a general confession. You are forgiven, and as Jesus has said in the gospels, “Go and sin no more!” – CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff:
Dear
Alexis: You have two options: burn them or bury them. Blessed objects of devotion, when their use is complete, are usually burned or buried with dignity. CatholicView Staff CatholicView
Staff: Janice: The answer to your question is no, since we consider “raising your children in the eyes of God” to mean that you will raise them as Catholics. – CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Dear
Tom: Fish is
not meat. This is why we can eat it during
Lent. Fish is any of the various cold-blooded, aquatic
vertebrates, having gills, commonly fins, and typically an elongated body covered with
scales. Meat is the edible flesh of animals,
especially that of mammals as opposed to that of fish or poultry. – CatholicView Staff
CatholicView:
Dear Paul: If you are unable to find a church while you are traveling, you can worship Him wherever you are. Set aside a quiet place and read God’s word. Spend some time remembering all the blessings He has given to you. Listen silently in communion with Him. He knows all about the problems of finding a church to attend and He will know that you love Him by your keeping the Sabbath holy and spending time with Him. – CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Dear Cynthia: Even though you say that you do not know what is means to be childlike, what you say you are doing this Lent is a perfect example of that child like faith that Jesus asks from us. You are doing something very important in imagining yourself being taken by the hand by the Lord Jesus! What a great prayer and spiritual exercise. You are being healed from your past hurts. What a great Lenten discipline. Being child like doesn’t mean you are immature or doing things that are inappropriate for your age. Child-like faith means total trust in God. When I was a child, I had total trust in my parents. I believed in them and I knew that they would take care of everything. My faith should be like that: trusting that God will take care of everything. When I became an adult, I tried to do things my way with my own power. I found out that this didn’t work all the time, especially in the areas of love and spiritual matters. It took some terrible life experiences to get me back to that child like faith that Jesus was talking about: trusting always in God despite my need in trying to interfere with what God is trying to do in my life. God bless, CatholicView Staff
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