
ASK A PRIEST
FEBRUARY 2009

FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
FATHER ARTHUR CARRILLO, C.P.
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM

My fiancée had a past abortion but I feel God
wants me
to bring her closer to Him. What should I
do? - Moghinder
Father Kevin:
I am a Catholic and my fiancée is Anglican. A
few weeks after we started our relationship she revealed to me that about four years prior
to meeting me she fell pregnant and had an abortion.
I was shocked at the time as I never pictured her to be that type of person
but seeing that I liked her a lot and not being one who easily judges other people I
decided to continue with the relationship. I
am a devout Catholic and have always prayed and asked our lord to give me a purpose in
life and when my fiancé revealed to me that she had an abortion I somehow felt that God
was using me to bring her closer to him. A
lot of time has passed and we got engaged and will be getting married soon. I do love her very much but recently we have been
experiencing problems to the extent where I have seriously considered parting ways with
her. One thing that holds me back is the idea
that I still need to bring her closer to God. My
question is would a person who is a non-Catholic and has had an abortion receive full
forgiveness from GOD. Would I be wrong to end the engagement even though it may be that
our Lord has brought me into her life to help her? Mohinder
_________________________
Dear Mohinder:
Thank you for your letter. It is only
love that changes lives and hearts and draws us closer to God and your love for your
fiancée sounds as though it has been a special gift for her. Regarding God's
forgiveness, that is without question. God forgives completely, it's the only way He
knows. It's not your job to fix up her past. No one can do that, as what's done is
done and best left to God's love and mercy. All we can do is to keep loving one
another now, and forgiving each other when the need arises. Every good wish to you
both. - Father Kevin

I was told to stand to receive the Eucharist. Why
wasnt I allowed to kneel? - Deborah
Father Kevin
I was visiting family and went to mass while I was there. There were a several things that
bothered me. But the thing that affected me
the most was that when I went to communion I knelt to accept Our Lord. The Eucharist
Minister told me to stand before she would give me communion. I said, "No, I want to
take it this way." She again told me to stand. Again, I said no. Then she looked to
the priest, giving communion next to her, to tell me the same. Which in the end the priest
did tell me to stand. In the end I did stand to accept Our Lord in the Eucharist. My
question is: Is it wrong to kneel to accept the Eucharist, or should I have been able to
accept Our Lord when kneeling? - Deborah
___________________________
Dear Deborah:
Life is too short to weigh ourselves down with
such issues really. People should be free to receive the Eucharist in whatever way
is right for them. I would never dictate to people how whether they should stand,
sit, bow or whatever. The Church provides a range of appropriate ways to receive the
Eucharist and so long as we are generally in line with one or other of these, then no one
else should be able to tell us what to do, regardless of the custom of the local church.
What matters is our encounter with Jesus in the Eucharist and our gestures and postures
are of secondary importance. Good wishes to
you. Father Kevin

I had a
miscarriage despite my loving care and a
D and C was immediately done. Did I have
another option? - Michele
Father Kevin:
I just recently (almost three weeks ago) had a miscarriage. I was not comfortable
with the options given to me at the time when the doctors found no heartbeat of our child,
and decided to go home and think about it. On the way home from the hospital, I went
into labor and had to return to the hospital. Once there, the doctors decided that
due to my loss of blood and low blood pressure that they needed to do a D and C. I wanted
to avoid this as the baby's body could be possibly torn to pieces. I didn't think
that that would be ok since it's not ok for our bodies to be torn apart at death, but it
seemed I had no other option. I feel guilt over this, even though I feel I did
everything in my power to deliver the baby naturally. Is there something else I
should have done? I am heartbroken at this loss. I couldn't wait to have this baby,
and then the thought of its little body being torn apart in the same way an aborted baby
is makes it all the more difficult. What should I have done? Did I do the
right thing? I was at a Catholic hospital but I felt that I didn't have a say in
what was to be done, as it seemed my health was in danger. - Michele
______________________________
Dear Michele:
What a trauma you have been through and my
thoughts and prayers come to you with this little reply. You did your best and had
to accept the directions of the medical staff, in order for you to survive. Your
longing and purpose was to have your baby well and healthy and that became impossible and
therein is a great grief for you. Please don't torture yourself with worries and I'd
encourage you to rest in the knowledge that you did your very best. If it is
helpful, you might seek out a person with the necessary medical expertise and have them
explain why it all had to happen that way.
Every blessing and please God you can find your
peace now. - Father Kevin

FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
"Where was God when my friend's brother was murdered?"
- Johnathan
Father Bill:
I have almost lost all of my faith over the last month. My friend's brother was a
constant church goer and he was murdered by a group of thugs for little more than a bit of
fun. He endured agonizing pain as they tortured him!! WHERE WAS GOD WHEN
THIS HAPPENED! WHERE WAS HE? - Johnathan
_________________________________
Dear Johnathan,
First of all, may I
express my deepest sympathy to you, to your friend and his family, and to everyone else
who must be suffering deeply in the face of such a terrible, senseless tragedy. In my
almost 68 years of life, I have never experienced anything like what you are going
through, so I wont pretend to know how you feel. I can only imagine.
I can also understand why you are wondering
where God was as those thugs unleashed their horrible fury. For a person of faith, it is a
question that comes from the heart. Our preferred image of God as a benign, caring, loving
presence in our lives is severely challenged in the face of personal tragedy. We want to
believe that God cares in the same way that we care, so when it appears otherwise, we
begin to have some serious doubts and some real questions about whos in charge.
Your question, Where was God when this
happened? reminds me so much of Jesus own words utteredmaybe even
screamedas, hanging on the cross, he endured the torture of the thugs who delighted
in his agony: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me! Clearly, even for his
own Son, Gods answer in moments of human tragedy seems to be silence. Inevitably,
this delights the atheist and perplexes the believer.
How often does it happen that we long for God
to swoop down like Superman, Spiderman or Batman to rescue us from the clutches of evil?
The fiction always seems to end the way we want it. The reality often leaves so much to be
desired in a God who seems so often to abandon us just when we need him most.
I dont know the answer, Johnathan. All I
can say is, if Jesus asked the same question as you are asking, then it must be a question
that comes from the depths of our humanity. It expresses the frustration we feel when it
appears that evil triumphs over good.
There are a couple of things that I attempt to
keep in mind as I try to make sense of human tragedies. One, of course, is Jesus
words from the cross that I have already mentioned. Another is my own simplistic phrase,
God is God, and I am not. It helps me, but I dont know if it will help
you. Finally, I have come to realize that God is as likely to be found in the mess as in
the neat and tidy. It usually takes longer to find God in the mess, but when I do find him
there, his appearance tends to be more intense and personal than I might ever have
imagined.
May I be so presumptive as to
suggest where you might be most likely to find God in this terrible tragedy, Johnathan?
Pray for the thugs. - Father Bill

Can a priest break the seal of the confessional if it concerns
a teens behavior? - Natalie
Father:
I need help. A
teen came to me and said she went to confession and confessed that she had sex with
her boyfriend and the priest told her parents. Can he do that? I thought the
Sacrament of Confession was confidential between you and God. She is hurt, confused, and wants to leave the
church and defiantly does not want to ever go to confession again. I need guidance
and prayers. Natalie
_______________________________
Dear Natalie,
For us priests, the seal of the
confessional is one of our most sacred obligations. What it means is that we can
never tell anyoneno matter who, no matter
whatanything that is told to us in the Sacrament of Penance. If a priest is found to
have violated this trust, he will be suspended
from his priestly ministry.
If the teen you speak of has reasonable
suspicion and reasonable proof that the priest to whom she confessed her sins did, in
fact, tell her parents, then she should immediately report this to her bishop. It would be
the right thing to do, and I would hope that she would do so, rather than leave the Church
because of this. If she is reluctant to contact the bishop, then I would suggest that she
contact the Vicar for Priests in her diocese. His name should be readily
available on the diocesan website.
For the sake of both parties involved, Church
representatives have an obligation to investigate such accusations with the utmost
discretion. This teen need not be afraid that her name and her situation would be made
public in any way. The only obligation on her part is that she be very certain that her
parents learned of her fornication from the priest to whom she confessed this sin, and not
from some other source. After all, his reputation and the future of his priestly ministry
are at stake.
I will pray that God will help everyone
involved in this to do what is right. I trust readers of this column will do the same.

My husband still has not gotten an annulment so we can have
our marriage blessed. Should I leave
him? - Bernadette
Dear Father Bill:
I don't know if this
question is appropriate for this website but I have prayed about this for so long and need
some guidance. I married at the age of
21. After 14 years, the marriage ended. I did not seek an annulment of this marriage as it
was not my intent to get involved in another relationship anytime soon thereafter.
Although after 3 years, I did meet someone and after 2 years we did marry. I am sad to say
that I did not complete my annulment papers and we married in the Presbyterian Church.
After a few years of marriage I did talk to a priest about obtaining an annulment and am
happy (but not proud of myself for how I did things) to say that it was granted. My
husband, on the other hand, after so many years of promising me that he would complete his
papers, has not and it does not look like he will, although he promises me that he intends
to do this. It is my sincerest intent to get married in the Catholic Church. It saddens me
that my husband has time for everything else in his life except this even though he knows,
after many talks, how important this is to me. I still attend church with my youngest
daughter but do not receive any sacraments. I know that I have made mistakes. While I love
my husband, I feel great guilt over what I feel is offensive to my faith and God. There is
a part of me that would like to end this marriage and have it annulled as well and start
over in my faith. There is another part that says that another divorce and annulment would
be more offensive. Father. any guidance that
you could offer me would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely - Bernadette
______________________________
Dear Bernadette,
First of all, let me assure you that your
question is very appropriate. Every Catholic should feel free to seek information and
advice about their faith lives. Thank you for asking!
As a pastor, I would just like to commend you
for doing so many things right in the face of some challenging circumstances. It seems to
me that you have done your part. You have done everything in your power to have your
marriage blessed (convalidated is the churchy term). You have continued to
practice your faith, even though you may not receive the sacraments. I truly admire you
and others like you who dont give up on your faith or yourselves even when your
relationship with the Church is somewhat problematic.
Do you have any idea why your husband is
reluctant to complete his papers? Is it a matter of money? Time? Principle? Is he
Catholic? Does he have questions about the annulment process that havent been
answered? Have you discussed your situation with your pastor or someone in your parish who
deals with annulments? It just seems to me that there must be someone who could help walk
your husband through this process, if he is at all willing to give it a try. If hes
being passive-aggressive and has no real intention of proceeding, he should just level
with you, so you know where he stands.
That leads me to the next point. You mention
that you love your husband, but still you wonder if you should end this marriage, have it
annulled and then start over. Is it a good marriage, Bernadette? Other than your
husbands lack of action on completing his annulment papers, is it a good marriage?
Do you feel, deep in your heart, that God has blessed you with a good husband? Im
pushing this point because I am reluctant to recommend that someone end a good marriage
just because it doesnt conform to the Churchs rules.
If a marriage is a good marriage,
I would celebrate that as a blessing. Then I would continue to try to make every
reasonable effort to make it even better by having the marriage convalidated. Dont
nag you husband about it, but do pray for him and for your marriage. Be patient. God knows
youve done what you can. Trust him.- Father Bill

FATHER ARTHUR CARRILLO, C.P.
Is there anything against the Church Canon Law
about performing in shows on Ash Wednesday
or Holy Saturday? - Damian
Father:
I am a Catholic and an actor, director & theatre producer. I have a touring
company and we have many shows coming up. I was wondering if there is anything
against the Church Canon Law with performing in shows on Ash Wednesday or Holy
Saturday? Thanks! - Damian
__________________________
Damian:
Congratulations on being a true artist.
The human family has much to be grateful for in the genius of those who have the
gifts of language, imagination, movement and organization to put on theatrical
productions.
The second thing that comes to mind is how
much the Church was a part of the early development in Western Civilization of the
dramatic arts. Not only is the bible an eternal source of dramatic inspiration, but
it was often in church buildings that sacred dramas were acted out in order to convey the
divine truths to a largely illiterate populace.
About your questions. Ash Wednesday
and Holy Saturday have their own sacred character. Ash Wednesday has always been the
marker of the start of Lent. The meaning of Ash Wednesday comes from the meaning of
Lent. In many of the Latin countries, the time leading up to the threshold of Lent
was for ribaldry and excesses of the appetites (i.e., song and dance, and banquets)
because Lent was observed with fasting (one complete meal a day).
"Carnevale", a farewell to meat! It would be correct to say that no
matter what sort of celebrations led up to Lent, Ash Wednesday itself was marked with
sober reflection on the human condition, the need for forgiveness, and the process of
conversion. That is what the ashes placed on the forehead would signify. Canon
1251 calls for fast and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. So, I think it
would be fair to say that there is no prohibition to shows on Ash Wednesday, with the
following considerations. The shows should not be so out of character with the
sobriety of Lent that they are distractions from the spirit of receiving blessed ashes on
the forehead. The touring company should not be so exhausted by their work that the
penance of fasting and abstinence would not likely be observed. There are no
specific prohibitions for Holy Saturday, but the Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy
(Vatican II, #109) does recommend that the fast and abstinence of Good Friday be continued
through to the Easter Vigil, i.e., the evening of Holy Saturday.
The same
comments I just made for Ash Wednesday would also apply in trying to maintain a proper
decorum for the events being commemorated on Good Friday and Holy Saturday.
A final note, the penance associated with
Lent, fasting and abstinence, are always in the context of what is possible. When
keeping these penances is impossible, the Church wisely recommends that we substitute
works of charity and piety.
Respectfully,
Fr.
Arthur Carrillo, C.P.

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
If a child confesses parental sexual abuse in the
confessional, should the priest notify
the authorities or the mother? -
Christina
CatholicView Staff:
If a child, who is angry because she is being sexually abused by her father, confesses her
anger to a priest, should the priest tell a social welfare agency or talk to the child's
mother? What is the moral thing for him to do?
_______________________
Christina:
Within the narrow confines of a sacramental
confession, anything said within the sacrament of Penance must be kept secret by the
priest. Confession is a sacrament and for
anything to be considered privileged communication protected by civil law,
there must be a formal ritual that begins a privileged communication confession. The priest is obligated to keep all formal
confessional conversations secret. But the
penitent is not under the same constrictions. The
penitent can say anything they want about what they said in confession since the
obligation of privileged communication is only upon the priest/confessor. For the Church, that is the moral thing to do. If someone should say something outside the formal
limitations of the sacrament of Penance, then the priest is usually (in most states of the
USA and in other countries) a mandated reporter and must report these kinds of
things to law enforcement. If the child
mentions such abuse to the priest outside of formal confession, then it is reported. Remember, privileged communication is only
recognized by civil law only within the confines of a ritual sacrament called confession. Meanwhile, since you know of the abuse, YOU ARE
REQUIRED to report. If this child has said
something to you, you are required to speak to law enforcement. As a priest, I ONLY have privileged communication
when a person begins our conversation when he/she says, Bless me, Father, for I have
sinned. It has been so long since my last
confession. If a person does not start
their conversation with me in this fashion, they do not enjoy privileged communication in
any circumstance.
CatholicView Staff

Is it okay to read the Philokalia? - Yiannis
CatholicView Staff:
Is it okay to read the Philokalia? - Yiannis
_____________________________
Yiannis:
Philokalia is a series of mystic and spiritual
writings of Orthodox authors that defines the Eastern Orthodox spirituality. There is nothing wrong in reading these writings
as the Eastern Orthodox community approves them. Since
the writings are Jesus-centered, they should bring to you to a deeper understanding of the
divinity of Christ. CatholicView Staff

I had to replace my wedding ring. Should
I wait until it
is blessed before wearing it? - Louise
CatholicView Staff:
I have had to replace my wedding ring. Should I even put my new one on before I have had
it blessed by a priest? Everyone else I know who has gone ahead without a blessed ring has
got divorced! Louise
___________________________
Louise:
You can have your new ring blessed by a priest
or deacon. That would certainly make the ring
a life-long symbol of your marital love. I
must say, however, whether the new ring is blessed or not, the ring does not have a
bearing on a successful marriage. The people
within the marriage are the responsible parties in ensuring that their marriage grows and
matures into what God has called them to be. A
good marriage has nothing to do with a material object such as a ring. A good marriage comes from the heart. CatholicView Staff

Can an adult who has no religion be baptized in order to
get married in the Church? - Aislinn
CatholicView Staff
Can an adult who has no religion at all be baptized in order to get married in the Church?
Is it a requirement to go through the RCIA program?
___________________________
Aislinn:
If your fiancé is Catholic, you do not have to
become Catholic to have your marriage blessed in the Church. See your priest for details.
If you sincerely want to become a member of the
Catholic Church, you can be baptized but you must participate in the RCIA program (Rite of
Christian Initiation of Adults). This is a
process designed for those who want to become members.
It is also a time of instruction and bonding with the community, culminating
in receiving the sacraments of initiation and full membership in the Church. CatholicView Staff

What is the new doctrine on the use of "Yahweh? - Fred
CatholicView Staff:
What is the new doctrine on the use of "Yahweh"?
Thanks. Fred
__________________________
Dear Fred:
There is no new doctrine concerning the use of
Gods Name as seen in the Old Testament. Yahweh
is the Hebrew acronym meaning, I am Who I am.
In other words, God doesnt have a name since He cannot be contained or
controlled by a name (see Exodus Chapter 3, Verse 14).
But it is a formal Name of God within the Hebrew Scriptures. The Church has always avoided using
Yahweh in respect for the Name and in respect for the Jewish people who dare
not pronounce the Name. The Jerusalem Bible
began using the term, Yahweh, in its English and French translations to show the
difference in the authors use of the different titles of God. In respect, I do not utter the Old Testament Name
in respect for God and the Jewish people. CatholicView Staff

My husband died two years ago. I
am dating now but my
in-laws feel this is wrong. Is it? - Amy
CatholicView Staff:
My husband died two years ago and I have started to move on with my life. I have been
dating someone I have known for 15 years and he was also a good friend of my
husbands. My brother-in-law and some others feel this is very wrong what we are
doing. In the eyes of God are we doing anything wrong. Thank you for your help. - Amy
__________________________
Dear Amy:
You are correct in saying it is time to move
on. The husband whom you loved is gone and
you are free to marry if you choose. This is
not wrong or sinful.
Your brother-in-law and other family members
may feel you are dishonoring your husbands memory.
This is not true. Perhaps you
could talk honestly with them, letting them know how much you loved your husband, but now
that he is gone, you are alone. Hopefully
they will see that you are trying to renew your life; filling in the void left by your
beloved spouse. God wants you to be
happy. Go in peace. CatholicView Staff

My Catholic fiancé who is divorced did not marry Catholic.
Does he need an annulment to marry me in the Church?
- Sarah
CatholicView Staff:
I am currently dating a man who has been married before. He did not get married in the
church, though he was baptized Catholic (he is non-practicing). I have never been married
before and want to get married in the church. Does he need to get an annulment before we
can get married?
____________________________
Sarah:
I do not know the circumstances of
the marriage of your fiancé. If he was
married in the Catholic Church, he will need an annulment before going forward on his
church wedding to you. If he was not married
in the Church, he will need a Lack of Form dispensation, which is much simpler. Please talk to your parish priest about this.
CatholicView Staff

What will happen to us who want to believe, but cannot?
Don
CatholicView Staff:
What will happen to us who want to believe,
but cannot? Don
________________________
Don:
If you want to believe, you must pray and ask
God to touch your heart. Take the first step
and start attending Church. Read the bible. Continue to pray constantly. I believe you are searching, so I
would suggest you talk this out with a priest or minister.
You have eternal life to gain.
CatholicView Staff

My wife and I are Catholic, but married civilly. Can we
receive communion? - Kareemo
CatholicView Staff:
My wife and I are both Catholics and were married in a Civil Ceremony and we plan on
having a formal Church Wedding in 2010 in the Philippines. Can we receive the Host at Mass
now or do we have to wait until we are married in the Church? - Kareemo
___________________
Kareemo:
Congratulations on your planned marriage in the
Philippines next year. Since you are both
married by civil law and are living together, you cannot receive communion until your
marriage is solemnized in the Church. - CatholicView Staff

Is the Blessed Virgin Mary the only saint that has
appeared on earth? - Charlie
CatholicView Staff:
Is it true that of all the saints in Heaven, only the Blessed Virgin Mary has ever
appeared to anyone here on Earth?
_______________________
Charlie:
The Church has recognized that any visions of
the Blessed Virgin Mary are in the realm of private revelations. So, in other words, such visions can be accepted
or not accepted by a believer unless otherwise warned by the Congregation of the Doctrine
of the Faith (Vatican City). But according to
the many mystics that have lived in the past, saints have visited others on
earth. One saint that comes to mind is Padre
Pio. He has been known to appear to those in
grave illness. Nonetheless, any visions such
as the saints or Jesus Himself are in the realm of private revelation. They are not necessary for salvation. My faith in Jesus Christ is all that is required
for salvation.

My parents told me I did not need the sacraments
because
I had extreme Unction as a sick baby. Is this
true?
- Gregory
CatholicView Staff:
I am a baptized Catholic, grew up in Catholic Church, and attended Catholic schools. Growing up, I witnessed my siblings receive
the sacraments of Holy Communion, Reconciliation and Confirmation. My parents told me that I did not need to receive
these sacraments because when I was a baby, I was extremely sick. The doctors had given up on me and I was given
Extreme Unction. I have believed this to be
true all my life and continued going to confession and receiving communion. Now I have
asked myself, what if this is not true? - Gregory
____________________________
Gregory:
Your parents were misinformed. You were given Extreme Unction as a baby (a
sacrament also known as the Anointing of the Sick) because you were possibly dying. This hasnt been true for some time now. You are entitled to the sacraments of the Church
the same as your siblings. But
first, you must talk to your parish priest and set the records straight. CatholicView Staff

I left the Church and became a minister.
What can
I do to return to the Catholic Church? - Mike
CatholicView Staff:
I was raised as a Catholic and studied for the priesthood.
At age 26 I personally invited Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior and
left the church. I became a minister and have been for 30 years now. What would I need to
do to be accepted back into the Catholic Church? - Mike
_________________________
Mike:
I am happy to hear that you have served the
Lord in these ministries. Now, it is time to
come back to your spiritual home. The
process is simple. Please talk to your parish
priest about your situation and the process in being accepted into full communion with the
Catholic Church. I am excited to hear that
you will be once again a full-member of the Catholic Church. I hope and pray that you will use your ministerial
gifts for the Church! -
CatholicView Staff

Should I make restitution for taking vacation time
when I knew I would be resigning? Matthew
CatholicView Staff:
May I seek your advice on a question of restitution?
Nearly 20 years ago, I was working for a very large MNC. They selected me
for an expensive overseas course. At that time I had already decided to resign, to join
another employer. I wanted the overseas trip, and so did not tell them of my plan. I may
even have delayed my resignation for this purpose - I cannot remember the exact details. The company had no policy of requiring employees
to sign any bond to stay on in employment after training. And I was under no legal or
contractual liability to the company for resigning after I returned from the trip. Now I am sorry I have gone on this trip. Do I owe
the company any restitution? Thanks in
advance for your help in giving me spiritual guidance. - Matthew
_____________________
Matthew:
Since there was no expectation from you legally
concerning your overseas journey, there is nothing to stop you from resigning your
position with that company to join another. Hopefully
in the future, you will be more honest in all your dealings with employers. After twenty
years, there isnt much you can do and the company did not ask from you any
restitution for the overseas seminar. Be at
peace. CatholicView Staff

I left the Church for four years. What
is the process to
return to the Church? - Jozef
CatholicView Staff:
I am Catholic through baptism, first communion, and confirmation. I have been a
participating Lutheran for the last four years for reasons I can't get into in this short
question. I would like to get back to the Catholic Church and was wondering what the
process would be. - Jozef
___________________________
Jozef:
I am so happy that you are returning to the
Catholic Church. In order to do this, you
must go and talk to your parish priest. Since
you have had the Sacraments of baptism, confirmation, and first communion, you will need
to be re-affirmed as a member in full standing in the Church. Talk to your parish priest who will determine what
has to be done. You will also be asked to go
to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession).
Welcome back. CatholicView Staff

Is it permissible to see an old boy friend who has not
finalized his marriage or had it annulled? - Ann
CatholicView Staff:
Over 25 years ago I was engaged to the love of my life. We broke off our engagement and
parted ways. Shortly there after, he got a girl pregnant and married her..."right
thing to do". They had a second child. Both children are grown now. His wife recently
left him and filed for divorce. We live in different states and were planning on meeting
in the middle to TALK. NO SEXUAL RELATIONS. Would we be committing any sin in meeting and
possibly talk about a reconciliation? - Ann
_________________________
Dear Ann:
You do not say if the divorce is final or not. Until this man gets an annulment, he is still
considered married in the eyes of the Church if he is Catholic.
You do not say whether or not you are married,
never married or divorced.
It is no sin in talking, providing both
of you are free to meet. There is nothing
wrong if two unattached people decide to talk and not indulge in a sexual way. CatholicView Staff

I had a dream last night that I sold my soul
to the devil. Can I be spiritually
responsible for
this? - Russ
CatholicView Staff:
Okay, this is a weird one. I had a dream last night that I sold my soul to the devil. I
don't recall the exact circumstances that led up to this obvious blunder, but I do
remember cursing my decision immediately afterward.
When I woke up, I was of course relieved to discover it had only been a dream. However, I
still worry that the very act itself, whether taking place while waking or sleeping, may
be enough to put my soul in jeopardy. Do I have cause to be alarmed? Can I be held
spiritually responsible for something that occurred when my decision-making process
weren't fully functioning? - Russ
___________________________
Dear Russ:
Do not distress yourself about this. God reads the heart. You are not held responsible for dreams. A dream is not an action. It is conscious actions that we worry about. If you will feel better, pray and ask God for
forgiveness. He is all loving and He knows
you well. Continue to move on, serving the
Lord. CatholicView Staff

I was married outside the Church and am divorced.
I am now engaged. Do I need an annulment to
marry? - LC
CatholicView Staff:
I was married to my first husband outside the
church in a civil ceremony. We have been divorced for the past 2 years. I've recently
become engaged to another Catholic and we wish to marry in the Church. Do I need an
annulment? Thanks, LC
____________________
LC:
Yes, you can marry in the Church. You will need a Lack of Form dispensation that
can be had from your local parish priest. Congratulations
on your upcoming marriage! CatholicView Staff

Are our loved ones happy in heaven, even though those
of us are unhappy? - Maribeth
CatholicView Staff:
I have a question about loved ones in Heaven! I know that people in heaven are supposed to
be happy all the time, and I also read that they still involve themselves in our lives.
But if the souls in heaven know about bad things that are happening to their loved ones on
earth, how can it be that they are constantly happy in heaven? Maribeth
______________________________
Maribeth:
Good question!
Some believe it is because our relatives in heaven are not limited by
time and can see the blessings ahead or the final outcome of earthly situations. Someday we will have the answer to that. Right now, we have to rely on Gods wisdom
and judgment to make all things right. We
are limited here by our humanity; relatives in heaven are not. CatholicView Staff

Is it permissible to attend my grandchilds baptism in the
Episcopal Church? - Jackie
CatholicView Staff:
I am a "cradle" Catholic and have raised my 2 daughters Catholic. However, my
youngest daughter has decided that she prefers the Episcopal religion. She and her husband have just had a baby and they
are planning to baptize the child in their faith. My question is am I allowed to attend
their service? I remember being taught as a child that I could not participate in any
other religion...is that participating? My daughter is trying to plan a private service
but the pastor wants to incorporate it into their mass. I'm not sure what to do. - Jackie
_____________________________
Dear Jackie:
Of course you can attend your grandchilds
baptism. But, you will have to refrain from
accepting communion. For Catholics, the Vatican counts as valid
only Catholic Eucharist--bread and wine that have been consecrated by a priest as part of
a Catholic Mass. For more
information, check with your parish priest.
CatholicView Staff

I am Catholic but my husband is not. Can
we have our
marriage blessed? - Jane
CatholicView Staff:
My husband and I want to get our marriage blessed by a Catholic priest. I am a practicing
Catholic and my husband attends mass with me but is a non-catholic. Does he have to become
Catholic to have a priest bless our marriage? -Jane
___________________
Dear Jane:
Congratulations and thank you for your
question. A Catholic and non-Catholic can
have their marriage blessed in the Catholic Church. Your husband does not have to become
Catholic in order to do so. See your priest
for more information on this. God bless you.
CatholicView Staff

My father is cruel to me. Should
I help him only to have
him laugh at me with other relatives? - Sheila
CatholicView Staff:
My father recently called me and wanted me to run an errand for him. I refused. The last
time I saw my father he threw me out of his house and told me never to come back. He then
called my mother and grandmother (and who knows who else) and laughed about him throwing
me out of his house. This is a usually thing with my father. He will ask a family member
to do something and later he will talk about them to anyone who will listen. Since my
father has very bad health he doesn't think anyone will refuse him, no matter how badly he
has treated him or her. He has often stated that it tickles him to hurt our feelings. I
just didn't want to subject myself to that kind of treatment again. Should I have helped
my father? I know it is the Christian thing to do, but it hurts to have him turn on me
again and again. I just wanted to spare myself pain.
___________________________
Dear Sheila:
I am so sorry that your father cannot see the
pain he is causing you and your family. Why
does your mother allow this to happen? And
have you talked to her about this?
The bible tells us to honor our fathers and our
mothers in the Ten Commandments. In your case it is difficult to do this. But you did the right thing and God is very
pleased and will bless you greatly for adhering to Gods commandment.
You say
that your dad has been ill. Because of his
illness, if you could try to do the things he really needs and avoid any confrontation
that may cause an upheaval in your family, you will have to ignore his criticism. Sometimes when people are ill, it makes them
feel powerful to tear others down. If you
can, ignore his atrocious behavior and try to avoid spending extra time that may cause you
grief. If he truly needs you, ignore his
awful behavior and try to help him for he will always be your father. Even now you are being blessed for the respect you
have given your father although he might not deserve it. Hope
this helps. CatholicView
Staff

Is it a sin for me to have evil thoughts at times even though
I don't carry them out? - Richard
CatholicView Staff:
Is it a sin for me to have evil thoughts at times even though I don't carry them out? I occasionally have intentions to look at
pornographic items even though I know they are bad for me.
Please advise me.
___________________________
Richard:
I am sorry that you indulge in pornography. I thank God that your conscience is telling you to
avoid this sin. Having evil thoughts can lead
you into action. I would advise that when you
are inclined to do this that you replace these evil desires with a simple prayer asking
God to strengthen and keep you from sin. The
repetition of prayer makes you stronger because you, through prayer, are calling on the
highest power available to man; Almighty God. You
will overcome this addiction if you continue to pray.
Pray this simple prayer or one of
your own each time you are tempted by Satan:
Lord, I love you. Keep me
from all unclean thoughts and help me to focus on the blessings you have given me. I offer all my temptations to you, asking you to
cleanse my mind from its impurities. Amen
Please go and see your priest. He will help you to understand what God expects
from all of us. Remember God loves you and
wants you to have peace in your life - CatholicView Staff

Is it okay to read the Philokalia? - Yiannis
CatholicView Staff:
Is it okay to read the Philokalia? - Yiannis
___________________________
Yiannis:
Philokalia is a series of mystic and spiritual
writings of Orthodox authors that defines the Eastern Orthodox spirituality. There is nothing wrong in reading these writings
as they are approved by the Eastern Orthodox community.
Since the writings are Jesus-centered, they should bring to you to a deeper
understanding of the divinity of Christ. CatholicView Staff

I had to replace my wedding ring. Should
I wait until it is
blessed before wearing it? - Louise
CatholicView Staff:
I have had to replace my wedding ring. Should I even put my new one on before I have had
it blessed by a priest? Everyone else I know who has gone ahead without a blessed ring has
got divorced!
______________________
Louise:
You can have your new ring blessed by a priest
or deacon. That would certainly make the ring
a life-long symbol of your marital love. I
must say, however, whether the new ring is blessed or not, the ring does not have a
bearing on a successful marriage. The people
within the marriage are the responsible parties in ensuring that their marriage grows and
matures into what God has called them to be. A
good marriage has nothing to do with a material object such as a ring. A good marriage comes from the heart. CatholicView Staff
Can an adult who has no religion be baptized in order to get
married in the Church? - Aislinn
CatholicView Staff
Can an adult who has no religion at all be baptized in order to get married in the Church?
Is it a requirement to go through the RCIA program? - Aislinn
________________________________
Aislinn:
Thank you for writing to CatholicView. To be clear, you are saying that you were never
baptized or affiliated with any church?
If you sincerely want to accept the Lord as
your Savior, you can certainly be baptized in the Catholic Church. And yes, it is a requirement that you participate
in the RCIA program (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults). It is a process designed for adults to enter the
Catholic Church and a time of instruction and bonding with the community. It culminating in receiving the sacraments of
initiation and full membership in the Church. Welcome
to our Church. CatholicView
Staff

What is the new doctrine on the use of "Yahweh? - Fred
CatholicView Staff:
What is the new doctrine on the use of "Yahweh"?
Thanks. Fred
__________________________
Dear Fred:
There is no new doctrine concerning the use of
Gods Name as seen in the Old Testament. Yahweh
is the Hebrew acronym meaning, I am who I am.
In other words, God doesnt have a name since He cannot be contained or
controlled by a name (see Exodus Chapter 3, Verse 14).
But it is a formal Name of God within the Hebrew scriptures. The Church has always avoided using
Yahweh in respect for the Name and in respect for the Jewish people who dare
not pronounce the Name. The Jerusalem Bible
began using the term, Yahweh, in its English and French translations to show the
difference in the authors use of the different titles of God. In respect, I do not utter the Old Testament Name
in respect for God and the Jewish people. CatholicView Staff

My husband died two years ago. I
am dating now but my
in-laws feel this is wrong. Is it? - Amy
CatholicView Staff:
My husband died two years ago and I have started to move on with my life. I have been
dating someone I have known for 15 years and he was also a good friend of my
husbands. My brother-in-law and some others feel this is very wrong what we are
doing. In the eyes of God are we doing anything wrong. Thank You for your help. - Amy
___________________________
Dear Amy:
You are correct in saying it is time to move
on. The husband whom you loved is gone and
you are free to marry if you choose. This is
not wrong or sinful.
Your brother-in-law and other family members
may feel you are dishonoring your husbands memory.
This is not true. Perhaps you
could talk honestly with them, letting them know how much you loved your husband, but now
that he is gone, you are alone. Hopefully
they will see that you are trying to renew your life; filling in the void left by your
beloved spouse. God wants you to be
happy. Go in peace. CatholicView Staff

My Catholic fiancé who is divorced but did not marry
Catholic. Does he need an annulment to marry
me in the Church? - Sarah
CatholicView Staff:
I am currently dating a man who has been married before. He did not get married in the
church, though he was baptized Catholic (he is non-practicing). I have never been married
before and want to get married in the church. Does he need to get an annulment before we
can get married? - Sarah
_____________________________
Sarah:
In your letter you did not make clear the
circumstances concerning the marriage of your fiancé.
If he was married in the Catholic Church, he will need an annulment before
going forward on his church wedding to you. If
he was not married in the Church, he will need a Lack of Form dispensation which is much
simpler. Please talk to your parish priest
about this. CatholicView Staff

What will happen to us who want to believe, but cannot? Don
CatholicView Staff:
What will happen to us who want to believe,
but cannot? Don
_______________________
Don:
If you want to believe, you must pray and ask
God to touch your heart. Take the first step
and start attending Church. Read the bible. Continue to pray constantly. I believe you are searching, so I would suggest
you talk this out with a priest or minister. You
have eternal life to gain. CatholicView
Staff

My wife and I are Catholic, but married civilly.
Can we receive communion? - Kareemo
CatholicView Staff:
My wife and I are both Catholics and were married in a Civil Ceremony and we plan on
having a formal Church Wedding in 2010 in the Philippines. Can we receive the Host at Mass
now or do we have to wait until we are married in the Church? - Kareemo
________________________________
Kareemo:
Congratulations on your planned marriage in the
Philippines next year. Since you are both
married by civil law and are living together, you cannot receive communion until your
marriage is solemnized in the Church. - CatholicView Staff

Is the Blessed Virgin Mary the only saint that has appeared
on earth? - Charlie
CatholicView Staff:
Is it true that of all the saints in Heaven, only the Blessed Virgin Mary has ever
appeared to anyone here on Earth?
____________________
Charlie:
The Church has recognized that any visions of
the Blessed Virgin Mary are in the realm of private revelations. So, in other words, such visions can be accepted
or not accepted by a believer unless otherwise warned by the Congregation of the Doctrine
of the Faith (Vatican City). But according to
the many mystics that have lived in the past, saints have visited others on
earth. One saint that comes to mind is Padre
Pio. He has been known to appear to those in
grave illness. Nonetheless, any visions such
as the saints or Jesus Himself are in the realm of private revelation. They are not necessary for salvation. My faith in Jesus Christ is all that is required
for salvation. - CatholicView Staff

My parents told me I did not need the sacraments because
I had Extreme Unction as a sick baby. Is this
true? - Gregory
CatholicView Staff:
I am a baptized Catholic, grew up in Catholic Church, and attended Catholic schools. Growing up, I witnessed my siblings receive
the sacraments of Holy Communion, Reconciliation and Confirmation. My parents told me that I did not need to receive
these sacraments because when I was a baby, I was extremely sick. The doctors had given up on me and I was given
Extreme Unction. I have believed this to be
true all my life and continued going to confession and receiving communion. Now I have
asked myself, what if this is not true? - Gregory
_____________________________
Gregory:
Your parents were misinformed. You were given Extreme Unction (The Anointing
of The Sick) as a baby because you were possibly dying. This hasnt been true for some time now. You are entitled to the sacraments of the Church
the same as your siblings. But
first, you must talk to your parish priest and set the records straight. CatholicView Staff

I left the Church and became a minister.
What can I
do to return to the Catholic Church? - Mike
CatholicView Staff:
I was raised as a Catholic and studied for the priesthood.
At age 26 I personally invited Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior and
left the church. I became a minister and have been for 30 years now. What would I need to
do to be accepted back into the Catholic Church? - Mike
__________________________
Mike:
I am happy to hear that you have served the
Lord in these ministries. Now, it is time to
come back to your spiritual home. The
process is simple. Please talk to your parish
priest about your situation and the process in being accepted into full communion with the
Catholic Church. I am excited to hear that
you will be once again a full-member of the Catholic Church. I hope and pray that you will use your ministerial
gifts for the Church! - CatholicView
Staff

Should I make restitution for taking vacation time
when I knew I would be resigning? Matthew
CatholicView Staff:
Father, May I seek your advice on a question of restitution? Nearly 20 years ago, I was working for a very
large MNC. They selected me for an expensive overseas course. At that time I had already
decided to resign, to join another employer. I wanted the overseas trip, and so did not
tell them of my plan. I may even have delayed my resignation for this purpose - I cannot
remember the exact details. The company had
no policy of requiring employees to sign any bond to stay on in employment after training.
And I was under no legal or contractual liability to the company for resigning after I
returned from the trip. Now I am sorry I have
gone on this trip. Do I owe the company any restitution?
Thanks in advance for your help in giving me spiritual guidance. - Matthew
______________________________
Matthew:
Since there was no expectation from you legally
concerning your overseas journey, there is nothing to stop you from resigning your
position with that company to join another. Hopefully
in the future, you will be more honest in all your dealings with employers. After twenty
years, there isnt much you can do and the company did not ask from you any
restitution for the overseas seminar. Be at
peace. CatholicView Staff

I left the Church for four years. What
is the process
to return to the Church? - Jozef
CatholicView Staff:
I am Catholic through baptism, first communion, and confirmation. I have been a
participating Lutheran for the last four years for reasons I can't get into in this short
question. I would like to get back to the Catholic Church and was wondering what the
process would be. - Jozef
_______________________
Jozef:
I am so happy that you are returning to the
Catholic Church. In order to do this, you
must go and talk to your parish priest. Since
you have had the Sacraments of baptism, confirmation, and first communion, you will need
to be re-affirmed as a member in full standing in the Church. Talk to your parish priest who will determine what
has to be done. You will also be asked to go
to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession).
Welcome back. CatholicView Staff

Is it permissible to see an old boy friend who has not finalized
his marriage or had it annulled? - Ann
CatholicView Staff:
Over 25 years ago I was engaged to the love of my life. We broke off our engagement and
parted ways. Shortly there after, he got a girl pregnant and married her..."right
thing to do". They had a second child. Both children are grown now. His wife recently
left him and filed for divorce. We live in different states and were planning on meeting
in the middle to TALK. NO SEXUAL RELATIONS. Would we be committing any sin in meeting and
possibly talk about a reconciliation? - Ann
__________________________
Dear Ann:
You do not say if your friend's divorce is
final or not. Until this man gets an
annulment, he is still considered married in the eyes of the Church.if he is Catholic.
You also do not say whether or not you are married, never married or divorced.
It is no sin in talking, providing both of you
are free to meet. There is nothing wrong if
two unattached people decide to talk and not indulge in a sexual way. CatholicView Staff
I had a dream last night that I sold my soul
to the devil. Can I be spiritually
responsible
for this? - Russ
CatholicView Staff:
Okay, this is a weird one. I had a dream last night that I sold my soul to the devil. I
don't recall the exact circumstances that led up to this obvious blunder, but I do
remember cursing my decision immediately afterward.
When I woke up, I was of course relieved to discover it had only been a dream. However, I
still worry that the very act itself, whether taking place while waking or sleeping, may
be enough to put my soul in jeopardy. Do I have cause to be alarmed? Can I be held
spiritually responsible for something that occurred when my decision-making process
weren't fully functioning? - Russ
________________________
Dear Russ:
Do not distress yourself about this. God reads the heart. You are not held responsible for dreams. A dream is not an action. It is conscious actions that we worry about. If you will feel better, pray and ask God for
forgiveness. He is all loving and He knows
you well. Continue to move on, serving the
Lord. CatholicView Staff

I was married outside the Church and am divorced.
I am now engaged. Do I need an annulment to
marry?
- LC
CatholicView Staff:
I was married to my first husband outside the
church in a civil ceremony. We have been divorced for the past 2 years. I've recently
become engaged to another Catholic and we wish to marry in the Church. Do I need an
annulment? Thanks, LC
____________________
LC:
Yes, you can marry in the Church. You will need a Lack of Form dispensation that
can be had from your local parish priest. Congratulations
on your upcoming marriage! CatholicView Staff

Are our loved ones happy in
heaven, even though those
of us are unhappy? - Maribeth
CatholicView Staff:
I have a question about loved ones in Heaven! I know that people in heaven are supposed to
be happy all the time,and I also read that they still involve themselves in our lives. But
if the souls in heaven know about bad things that are happening to their loved ones on
earth, how can it be that they are constantly happy in heaven? - Maribeth
__________________
Maribeth:
Good question!
Some believe it is because our relatives in heaven are not limited by
time and can see the blessings ahead or the final outcome of earthly situations. Someday we will have the answer to that. Right now, we have to rely on Gods wisdom
and judgment to make all things right. We
are limited here by our humanity; relatives in heaven are not. CatholicView Staff

Is it permissible to attend my grandchilds baptism in
the Episcopal Church? - Jackie
CatholicView Staff:
I am a "cradle" Catholic and have raised my 2 daughters Catholic. However, my
youngest daughter has decided that she prefers the Episcopal religion. She
and her husband have just had a baby and they are planning to baptize the child in their
faith. My question is, am I allowed to attend their service? I remember being taught as a
child that I could not participate in any other religion...is that participating? My
daughter is trying to plan a private service but the pastor wants to incorporate it into
their mass. I'm not sure what to do. - Jackie
___________________________
Dear Jackie:
Of course you can attend your grandchilds
baptism. But, you will have to refrain from
accepting communion. For Catholics, the Vatican counts as valid
only Catholic Eucharist--bread and wine that have been consecrated by a priest as part of
a Catholic Mass. For more
information, check with your parish priest.
CatholicView Staff

I am Catholic but my husband is not. Can
we have
our marriage blessed? - Jane
CatholicView Staff:
My husband and I want to get our marriage blessed by a Catholic priest. I am a practicing
Catholic and my husband attends mass with me but is a non-catholic. Does he have to become
Catholic to have a priest bless our marriage? -Jane
_____________________
Dear Jane:
Congratulations and thank you for your
question. A Catholic and non-Catholic can
have their marriage blessed in the Catholic Church. Your husband does not have to become
Catholic in order to do so. See your priest
for more information on this. God bless you.
CatholicView Staff
My father is cruel to me. Should
I help him only to have him
laugh at me with other relatives? - Sheila
CatholicView Staff:
My father recently called me and wanted me to run an errand for him. I refused. The last
time I saw my father he threw me out of his house and told me never to come back. He then
called my mother and grandmother (and who knows who else) and laughed about him throwing
me out of his house. This is a usually thing with my father. He will ask a family member
to do something and later he will talk about them to anyone who will listen. Since my
father has very bad health he doesn't think anyone will refuse him, no matter how badly he
has treated them. He has often stated that it tickles him to hurt our feelings. I just
didn't want to subject myself to that kind of treatment again. Should I have helped my
father? I know it is the Christian thing to do, but it hurts to have him turn on me again
and again. I just wanted to spare myself pain. - Sheila
____________________
Dear Sheila:
I am so sorry that your father cannot see the
pain he is causing you and your family. Why
does your mother allow this to happen? And
have you talked to her about this?
The bible tells us to honor our fathers and our
mothers in the Ten Commandments. In your case it is difficult to do this. But you did the right thing and God is very
pleased and will bless you greatly for adhering to Gods commandment.
You say
that your dad has been ill. Is it a serious
illness? Is he incapable of taking care of himself? Sometimes when people are
ill, it makes them feel powerful to tear others down.
If you can, ignore his atrocious behavior and try to avoid spending extra
time that may cause you grief. If he truly
needs you, ignore his awful behavior and try to help him for he will always be your
father. Even now you are being blessed for
the respect you have given him, even though he might not deserve it. Hope this helps.
CatholicView Staff

Is it a sin for me to have evil thoughts at times even though
I don't carry them out? - Richard
CatholicView Staff:
Is it a sin for me to have evil thoughts at times even though I don't carry them out? I occasionally have intentions to look at
pornographic items even though I know they are bad for me.
Please advise me.
___________________
Richard:
I am sorry that you indulge in pornography. I thank God that your conscience is telling you to
avoid this sin. Having evil thoughts can lead
you into action. I would advise that when you
are inclined to do this that you replace these evil desires with a simple prayer asking
God to strengthen and keep you from sin. The
repetition of prayer makes you stronger because you, through prayer, are calling on the
highest power available to man; Almighty God. You
will overcome this addiction if you continue to pray.
Pray a simple prayer such as:
Lord, I love you. Keep me from all unclean thoughts
and help me to focus on the many blessings you have
given to me. I offer all my temptations to
You, and I
ask You to cleanse my mind from all impure
thoughts. I pray this in Jesus' name,
Amen
Please go and see your priest. He will help you to understand what God expects
from all of us. Remember God loves you and
wants you to have peace in your life - CatholicView Staff

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