Father
Arthur:
Hi, My name is Jeremy and I am a 23 year old Catholic who is trying to get as religious as
possible. But, I do have a question. I am and have been a
fan of professional wrestling for many years. I do not care for the storylines as much as
I just do the competition.
Is this wrong because it is violence but at the same time I do not want anyone to
get seriously hurt, I honestly just love the art of it, is this wrong? Jeremy
Dear
Jeremy,
I
appreciate your candidness. I also enjoy some dubious pleasures, e.g., a cigar on
special occasions (3 or 4 in the course of a year). I used to watch professional
wrestling when I was a child, in the 1950's. Television had brought a new audience
to the wrestling from the Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles. It was a "golden
age" of wrestling in Southern California. Being of a tender age, I was also
quite naive with respect to the way the system operated. As we now acknowledge,
wrestling was a performance, personality was more important than sport or real
competition. No serious effort was made to create a lasting support system (medical
assistance, retirement, vocational training) for wrestlers once their careers had
inevitably run their course.
Today,
things have not changed much. The recent Mickey Rourke film, The Wrestler, which I
have not seen, is supposed to be a pretty gritty story. Although Mickey Rourke has
been quoted as saying that the film raised his opinion of wrestling, I would probably
counter by saying it seems to have raised many persons' opinions about actors (Rourke
received a Golden Globe Award for his portrayal of a wrestler past his better years).
Today
the WWE puts the "word"/"entertainment" on the logo, it's about
entertainment, not sport. It will put out whatever draws the crowds and the
money...and it will pretend by callng it sport and competition.
However,
back to your question....What about the violence? There are many ways that we
condone violence in our American way of life. Some people think that NASCAR is too
violent, and that spectators sit through laps and laps of a closed circuit because they
secretly hope that a major crash is just around the next curve. The NFL seems to
idolize those who can submit to or dish out the most violence on a Sunday afternoon.
Even the NBA has players wearing masks because of the force of the contact these
players inflict on one another.
Why do
we live in such a violent world? Why do we support violence and call it sport?
I'm sure there are lots of complex and erudite psychological explanations. I
have a simple one: we live boring lives, and the approach of violence drives our bodies
into an adrenaline rush. We become addicted to that rush.
I'm not
going to suggest that you give up your interest in wrestling. It might even be good
for your cardio-vascular system to get a bit of an adrenaline rush now and then.
However,
I am going to suggest that you ask yourself whether you are also willing to become engaged
in peacemaking activities through your parish, or through the many national organizations
that explicitly work to bring about a world with less tolerance for gratuitious violence.
Jesus Christ was made sport of during the long hours of his Passion; Jesus Christ
calls us to labor for a Kingdom of Justice and Peace. If we are able to commit
ourselves to the building of that Kingdom, and work with our fellow members of the Body of
Christ for that purpose, then I'm sure an occasional, indulgent, and selective eye on the
WWE won't distract you from your commitment to Christ and His Church. -
Father Arthur
“Even though suicide is a sin, is it an option if it
spares
my family heavy medical and funeral costs?” – Kris
Father Arthur:
My son passed away after a long battle with Leukemia, my savings were devastated, I sold
my house to pay bills, at three years I finally have the last of the medical bills paid
off. If a similar condition happened to me I would rather commit suicide then
leave such a financial burden on my family. Suicide would be my plan, but suicide is
wrong, yet sacrifice for others is not, which applies? - Kris
Dear
Kris,
I thank
you for bringing this painful experience to our forum. I am sorry that your son has
died to leukemia. Several friends of mine have also seen their children fight this
disease, two children died; one appears to have overcome the disease. It is
unfortunate, and probably unjust, that families in this wealthy nation have to lose
everything in order to fulfill their duties as parents. You found a way to do it,
and because of your experience, you now talk of suicide as a strategy to protect your
loved ones in the case of a catastrophic illness of your own.
I can
understand your point of view. You correctly state the teaching of the Church that
suicide is wrong. Also, when we sacrifice for others, we call it noble and virtuous.
Both statements, however, need to be understood with more precision. There
was a time when suicide was simply and finally a mortal sin, which deprived the deceased
person of the funeral rites of the Church. The survivors were to believe that the
person who committed suicide had taken his own life, and thus had committed murder, which
is certainly a mortal sin.
Today,
the Church recognizes that persons often surrender their lives without the necessary
conditions for a mortal sin. Although ending one's life is a violation of God's
sovereignty over us (grievous matter), sufficient reflection and full-consent of the will
are often the lacking elements needed to constitute a mortal sin.
"Sufficient" reflection is not a measure of time, it is also a measure of
competence and content. A person driven by fear and anxiety over the family's future
ability to provide for itself because of the gross expenditures to treat a disease is not
able to achieve sufficient reflection. Even more, a person who idealizes the taking
of his or her life as a means of protecting the assets of the family is even farther from
being able to appreciate the inherent evil of taking one's life. In either case,
there is not "sufficient" reflection to make the action a mortal sin.
What is
lacking in your description of the justification for ending one's life is the desire to
preserve your life and to fulfill your obligations to God and to your family. Life
is sacred, a gift of God, to be cherished and clung to. One does not begin a
discussion of options by throwing out the first principles. If your concern is that
future illness might create severe financial stresses on yourself and your family, the
discussion needs to be had with those persons whom you are trying to protect. You
need to invite their suggestions, and together with them arrive at a tenable position.
The Church encourages us to be stewards of our health and to be prepared for the
decisions necessary when our mortal lives are coming to an end. The Church does not
require that we use extraordinary means to fend off death. Palliative care and
hospice care are wonderful options that belong in the health care inventory; they are ways
that challenge the illusion that we must do all in our power to delay the approaching and
imminent death of a person. Death is embraced as a natural transition to a new level
of life.
To
answer your question more succinctly, the desire to spare your family a financial burden
is not reason to leapfrog over other strategies in order to embrace suicide as an
expression of financial planning. Speak with a real financial planner about how to
use insurance as a resource against long-term illness; or how to use trusts to protect
assets against a time when you may need to pay for medical costs. Many religious
bodies offer annuities and other long-range financial strategies for just such a case as
you are describing. In helping them, you help yourself.
I hope these reflections help you to see that your heroism may be truer when you look for
ways to live your life for Christ and your family and friends, rather than when you
weigh the merits of ending your life. - Father Arthur
”Should women remain ‘silent” during the
sermon at mass?” - Hugo
Father Arthur:
The Father of my congregation allows women to speak during sermon and it troubles me
greatly that in 1 Corinthians 14:34-5 it states that women "should remain silent in
the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law
says." Help!! - Hugo
Dear
Hugo,
There
is a lot of reference material for anyone who wants to explore the meaning of this and
similar passages that refer to the subordinate position of women in the church assembly.
In general, the consensus of scholars is that these passages refer to the
"office" or "official position" of teacher in the context of the
Christian-Greek assembly. Women were not welcomed in these teaching roles, and for a
woman to presume to take such a position would violate the cultural code of the Greek
world. Remember, the passage you cite is about the "good order" to be
maintained in the assemblies of the Christians. The "silence" is not so
much a prohibition of speaking at all, but rather a prohibition against taking the
"speakers' role" in the assembly.
In
response to your question, I am a bit confused by your statement: "allows women to
speak during sermon". If you mean that he surrenders the pulpit at the time of
the homily and substitutes the address of an invited woman speaker, then you are correct
that this is inappropriate, but not because of 1 Cor 14:34-35. At the Eucharist, the
homily holds a special and privileged position. It is not to be skipped (for a light
reason), and it is reserved to the ordained minister, which includes the deacon.
Once the homily has been appropriately given, following the readings of the Mass,
the pastor is allowed to permit a lay person (man or woman) to address the congregation
during an opportune moment of the Mass. For example, it is quite common for a
speaker to address the congregation at a funeral Mass, following the prayer after
communion.
As a
side note, I am in favor of emulating the discipline of silence that 1 Cor 14:34-35
promotes, with the difference that I would apply it to the "ushers/greeters" who
congregate around the doors of the church, at the back of the assembly, and spend the
majority of the Mass chatting. It is a terrible distraction to the celebrant who has
them in plain view, while it is probably largely unnoticed by the congregation, which has
them to its back. (My pet peeve of the Lord's day!)
Finally,
you might ask your pastor what he personally strives for in preparing the homily for
Sundays, and then mention that you are more interested in hearing a well-prepared homily
from him than in listening to what others might want to add. - Father
Arthur
FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
”How do I explain Purgatory to non-Catholic
Christians?”
- Mark
Father Bill:
Our
final goal is to be with Christ forever in heaven.
If we die in God's grace this will be granted to us. Yet the Church teaches that those who die
'imperfectly purified' will need to be purified in Purgatory before entering 'the joy of
heaven in the entries of the CCC for 'Heaven' and 'Purgatory'. I'm trying to explain in simple terms to a
non-Catholic Christian what Catholics believe about Purgatory and how this differs from
Heaven. .Can you help? - Mark
Dear Mark,
You ask a good question, and thanks for trying
to explain our Catholic beliefs to a non-Catholic Christian.
Actually, I think that the Catechism of the
Catholic Church (CCC) gives a fairly succinct and enlightened explanation of what the
Church means by “Purgatory”. It differs from Heaven because Heaven is the
“communion of life and love with the Trinity, with the Virgin Mary, the angels and
all the blessed” (CCC #1024), and this state of perfect union is not achieved until
one is perfectly purified. So Purgatory differs from Heaven in that the perfect union is
not yet a reality.
The Catechism is very careful to avoid calling
Purgatory a “place”. It also makes no mention of the “time” it might
take for this purification (or purging) to happen. No doubt this was done deliberately in
an attempt to free us from those categories of “time” and “place” that
can thoroughly confuse the whole idea of this process of purification. However, it is very
difficult for our brains to escape those categories, since all of our experience has to do
with time and place.
Because earth is a place and because our lives
are marked with change that is measured by time, we tend to think of Heaven, Hell and
Purgatory as places in which we will spend time. Actually, Heaven and Hell are states of
being in which we will spend eternity (or not!) and Purgatory is a process (not a time or
place) of purification. The concept of time is essentially meaningless once we enter into
the changeless reality of eternity.
This kind of thinking taxes our brains to the
limit, so we usually rely on metaphors to make it easier. We talk about “time”
spent in “places” like Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, but in this case, I really
don’t think these metaphors do us any favors.
There are other metaphors that may be more
helpful, like the wonderful story for teaching young children about death, “Water
bugs and Dragonflies” by Doris Stickney. (You can find it on the Internet.) Metaphors
or no metaphors, trying to teach someone about beliefs that transcend earthly experience
can be very challenging. Just do the best you can. – Father Bill
Can I be a good Catholic if I don't/won't go to confession?
-Mike
Father
Bill:
I've
been thinking a lot about confession lately. I haven't been to confession in 30+ years,
but I go to mass weekly. I don't really want to go to confession, and don't really
understand why it is necessary. Can I be a good catholic if I don't/won't go to
confession? -Mike
Dear Mike,
My first reaction upon reading your question
was, “Hmm. I wonder why he’s been thinking a lot about confession lately. I
wonder if God is trying to tell him something.” Maybe that’s what’s
happening, Mike.
Hearing confessions is an important part of my
ministry, just as it is for almost any priest working in parish ministry. It seems like it
happens at least once a month that someone comes to confession to me who has been away for
many years. I always see this as a sign of God’s grace at work, and I truly welcome
these special moments. I usually try to ask the penitent (in an unthreatening way, to be
sure) if there was any reason why they stayed away from this sacrament for so long a time.
As you might guess, there are many different
answers. Some say that coming to confession makes them very nervous. Others say that they
just didn’t think their sins were that important. One of the more common responses,
unfortunately, is that some priest got angry with them in confession when they were a
child or teenager, and they never went back.
What has kept you away for more than thirty
years, Mike? I can understand your “not wanting” to go to confession. I’m
sure it’s not on the top of most peoples’ to-do lists. I’m almost 68 years
old, and it’s only been in last year or so that I actually look forward to going to
confession. Isn’t it true that most of us do things that we “don’t really
want” to do, simply because we know it is best that we do them? Going to the dentist
or seeing our doctor for a physical comes to mind.
According to Catholic teaching and practice,
confession is only “necessary” if we are guilty of serious sin, although I
suppose a case could be made for saying that it also is necessary if one is to fulfill the
Precept of the Church that says a Catholic must receive the Sacrament of Penance at least
once a year. Really, Mike, I don’t think that the Church would have this sacrament if
it weren’t necessary.
I often point out to people that the
forgiveness of sins was at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. That also is why he died on
the cross. Just listen to the words for the consecration of the wine the next time you go
to Mass. Since the forgiveness of sins was important to Jesus, it stands to reason that it
should be important for the Church. Jesus explicitly commissioned his disciples to carry
on this ministry when he told them “whose sins you shall forgive, they are
forgiven.” This ministry now belongs to the Church, and it is up to the Church to
determine just how this ministry is to be exercised. It is out of this background that our
present ways of celebrating the Sacrament of Penance have evolved.
Can you be a “good Catholic” if you
don’t/won’t go to confession? I’ll answer the question this way: If you
don’t go to confession at least once a year, you are breaking one of the precepts of
the Church. I don’t think that necessarily makes you a bad Catholic, but it does make
you an impoverished one. You are missing out on the graces that flow from the loving,
forgiving heart of Jesus through this special sacrament.
If you have forgotten the “mechanics”
of going to confession, don’t worry about those details. Most priests I know are more
than happy to help people with that. We’re just glad to have you back. About the only
thing we can’t do for you is examine your conscience. That part is up to you, but you
can find many good (and some bad) aids for examination of conscience on line or perhaps in
your parish’s pamphlet rack.
Come on back to this sacrament of peace and
reconciliation, Mike. I think you’ll be glad you did. - Father Bill
”Why does God allow mentally retarded children to
come into the world?” - Dina
Father
Bill:
I work
with mentally retarded children. I would like
to know WHY those souls come to the world like that and how we are supposed to treat them.
Your answer would be very helpful and appreciated.
Thanks a lot – Dina
Dear Dina,
To be honest, my first thought when I read your
question was "I think that Dina would be able
to answer this question better than I can ". I so
admire those who work with these special children, and I know that I could learn a lot
from you. As I thought about your question, though, I realized that working with these
children day after day must be a very challenging occupation that often leaves you with a
heavy heart. I suspect that your question comes from that heavy heart.
About ten years ago I had
to ask the same question you are asking. Some good friends of mine (I’ll call them
“Randy” and “Joan”) had a child born with lissencephaly, a rare brain
disorder that usually causes severe mental retardation and physical limitations. They
didn’t learn of “Matt’s” disorder until he suffered his first of many
seizures when he was about 8 or 9 months old. Those early seizures were frightening, and
when my friends eventually received Matt’s diagnosis, they were devastated.
Randy and Joan contacted me soon after the
doctors delivered the bad news. That’s when your question began running through my
mind: Why, God, does this happen?
When I start thinking like this, I often
instinctively turn to a phrase I occasionally use in my preaching: God is God, and we are
not. Along with that, there is the humbling reminder in Isaiah 55: 8-9: “For my
thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. As high as the
heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above
your thoughts.”
What I take that to mean is that God really
doesn’t have to answer to me—or to any of us. Still, I don’t think that God
minds when our heartfelt pain leads us to ask those “Why, God?” questions.
Sometimes there is no answer that satisfies. Other times, after some prayer and
reflection, a hint of an answer might appear. That, I think, may be true for your
question.
Over the years I have watched Joan and Randy as
they have raised Matt. He is now almost 11 years old, and he has an older brother
“James”. I have shared meals with them at home and in restaurants. I have gone
on car rides with them. I have taken them all up for a plane ride (I’m a pilot). Did
Matt get much out of the plane ride? It’s hard to tell, since he can’t talk, but
he did make happy noises.
What never ceases to amaze me is the love, care
and patience that Joan, Randy and James show towards Matt. Is there a mess when Matt eats?
Yes, there usually is. Is it fun to take him to a restaurant? Not really. Does he need
constant care for all the things the rest of us take for granted? Yes—and I could go
on and on. Matt’s family takes it all in stride. He is theirs, and they love him.
Why, then, does God allow people like Matt to
be born? I think God allows this so that the rest of us can learn to love better. I think
God wants us to realize that our worth and value as human beings is not to be found in
being physically and mentally “perfect”, but rather in the fact that we are all
his children, “perfect” or not.
The second part of your question is “How
are we supposed to treat children like this?” Well,
I suppose the easy answer is to apply the Golden Rule: treat them as we would like to be
treated ourselves. It’s never that easy, of course. That’s especially true when
working with people who have special needs, since the nature of their disabilities may
vary considerably and often requires special knowledge and treatment. Still, to do
everything with love is a good principle by which to live.
Finally, I know that there are many families
who find the burden of a special child to be almost unbearable. Even Randy and Joan may
eventually have to seek institutional care for Matt as he grows into adolescence and young
adulthood. In many cases this turns out to be best for the family and for the person with
disabilities. That is why people like you, Dina, have such an important role to play. May
God bless you as you work with these children.
While I firmly believe that
children like Matt have a place in our lives and in God’s plan, I have often wondered
how well I would have been able to handle having a child like Matt. I’ll never know,
but I’m glad that I’ve known Matt for these ten years. He and his family have
taught me a lot. – Father Bill
FATHER AMARO SAUMELL
"Is it wrong to put an animal to sleep?" -
Carolyn
Father Amaro:
Is it wrong to put an animal to sleep if it is
suffering or does the animal have to go naturally? - Carolyn
Dear Carolyn,
In respect to human beings, there is a code
that is used for which people can describe their suffering so that proper pain medication
can be administered. Also, we know that human beings have a human soul thar benefits from
the love of God and the redemption that is offered through Christ’s passion, death,
and resurrection. So, in the case of human beings, euthanasia is never an option.
But an animal does not have a human soul or
will, or the ability to describe pain. Neither is there a need for an animal to
participate in Christ’s redemption. In that case, there is no other way to ease
suffering, so euthanizing is the humane thing to do.
Hope this helps in your decision-making. God bless, Fr. Amaro
"Is it immoral to support corporal punishment
in schools as punishment?" - Patrick
Dear Father,
Is it immoral to support corporal punishment in
schools as an effective form of discipline? Thank you and God bless. - Patrick
Dear Patrick,
The choice of corporal punishment surely is a
personal one. In my case, I have no objection
to it if applied correctly. It has made me what I am today. (grin). However, would you
really want a stranger making that decision for your child?
Have you thought of the possible repercussions such as law suits against
teacher and schools that can drain the educational system from it’s resources in an
already strapped budget?
Support of any action takes consideration from
all angles. For my part, I would suggest parenting for the parents and teaching for the
teacher. But I would also add caution. In my own case, corporal punishment did develop
fear of my parents as I was growing up. Fear at home could result in acting out at school
or other public arenas, which was my case. It usually needed up that I was getting
suspended from school for acting out, and receiving more corporal punishment.
Parenting is much different these days.
We understand more about human development. Parenting
is not natural. It takes skill and rising
above emotions to avoid what could end up as abuse. Be skillful in your thinking insofar
as your own parenting skill and how much flexibility you will allow others to have with
your child. God bless. - Father Amaro
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
”In the Catholic Church, is the abortion of a young
girl worse than the rape she endured?” - Angelica
Dear Father :
I am a young Catholic woman and have always been proud of my religion. However, as of late
I have found myself at odds with the Catholic Church. Not my faith or my belief in
God or our Lord Jesus. I recently heard a news story about a 9-year-old girl in
Brazil who was raped by her stepfather and became pregnant. She had an abortion and
was subsequently excommunicated from the church. As were her mother and the doctor
who performed the abortion. However, the stepfather was not excommunicated. T he
Archbishop at her Church reasoned that abortion is a worse sin than rape.
Father, how can this child, a mere baby herself, be excommunicated for terminating what
would have been an extremely dangerous pregnancy but, her step-father not receive any
punishment from the church? - Angelica
Dear Angelica:
Thanks for your letter. I too was disturbed
when I learned of this happening in Brazil. Because of her age, the nine-year old
girl who was raped repeatedly by her stepfather was not ex-communicated. However,
the mother and the doctors involved will be excommunicated. Excommunication was
certainly not in my view, the appropriate response to this situation. The family
needed pastoral care rather than punishment.
I suppose it shows us that the Church is
one learning curve always in dealing with situations that don't admit of easy answers
or simple responses. There are many of us who are working hard to find a way forward
with situations such as the one you've mentioned. The founder of my own community,
the Marist Fathers, back in the 1840's told our early priests that we must always err on
the side of mercy. My guess is that this approach is nearer to the heart of the
gospel than the punishing behavior in which people in the Church sometimes
engages.
Let's pray for our Church for a deeper compassion
and wisdom.
All good wishes. - Father Kevin
“If I take a vow as a law enforcement officer,
do I have to obey all the laws?” - Andrew
Father Kevin:
Can I take an oath to obey the laws of this country as a law enforcement officer? What if I don't obey with all the laws? Andrew
Hi Andrew:
I'm not sure what you are getting at here.
I'm sure all of us infringe the law in little ways from time to time, and
occasionally in more serious ways. There's always room for us to grow in our
response to the law. There's also often enough a need for the law to change in
response to changing situations. However, in general, it's important that we be
law-abiding, whether we are law enforcement officers or not!' All the best. - Father Kevin
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
”My
wife has not reported her child care earnings
for 20 years. What shall we do?” - John
CatholicView Staff:
My wife has been doing childcare off the books
for 20 years. These monies have never been declared on our taxes. We have disagreed on the
need for this recently and she brought it up in the confessional. She declared the time as 14 years. . The priest asked her if millions were involved. She said no.
He advised that she go home and forget about it and granted absolution. Can this matter be forgotten on both parts (the
length of time and non payment of taxes), since we file a joint return? - John
Dear John:
Thank you for your question.
It is illegal in the United States
not to honestly report wages year after year for twenty years. Since you both share in childcare pay I strongly
suggest that you keep records of all monies received and start paying taxes to the IRS. As a responsible Christian and citizen, you must
give whatever portion of this money the IRS requires.
Jesus has told you the answer in no uncertain terms:
Mathew 22: 17-22 tells us , ‘Now
tell us what you think about this: Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?’ “But Jesus knew their
evil motives. “You hypocrites!” He said. “Why are you trying to trap me? Here, show me the coin used for the tax.”
When they handed Him a Roman coin, He
asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?” ‘Caesar’s,’ they replied. “Well, then,” He said, “give
to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.” When they had heard these words, they marveled,
and left him, and went their way. “
John, I believe you want to do the right thing
and I encourage you to do this. I
understand that trying to go back for 20 years would be difficult.since you probably did
not keep records. From now on, you will report your earnings. Anything less than honesty is sinful.
Follow your heart in this matter. Hope
this helps you. – CatholicView Staff
“It has been ten years since my last confession. What shall
I say when I go again?” - Christina
CatholicView Staff:
The last time I went to confessions was 10 years or more ago. Since its been so long, when I go back to confession do I say any certain
prayers or anything? - Christina
Christina:
Going to the Sacrament of Confession or
Reconciliation is very simple to do. You can
even tell the priest-confessor that you have not been to confession for so long that you
don't know where and how to start!
Here is a video that will guide you step by
step in going to confession: http://www.howcast.com/videos/2424-How-To-Go-To-Confession
Learn and memorize the Act of Contrition: "O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven, and the pains of Hell; but
most of all because I love Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I
firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to
amend my life. Amen."
Do not feel afraid. May the Lord strengthen
you in your quest for forgiveness. – CatholicView Staff
“How long does it take and how much does it cost to
get an annulment?” - Kirkman
CatholicView Staff:
I have been divorced for 12 years and want an annulment.
How long would it take? How much does it cost and how do I go about
it. I have searched church websites but nothing on them.- Kirkman
Dear Kirkman:
A clear cut, well-documented case may
only take six months. A more complicated
annulment could take up to a year or more, depending on the information that is available
to the priest.
Since you have
given little information on where you were married and if you are both Catholic, it is
possible you may need copies of baptismal certificates for the Catholic party involved,
copies of civil license, and a copy of the church marriage certificate. And if you were divorced civilly, a copy of the
divorce decrees. Witnesses may be called to
help with your case. Another person who is
known as the Defender of the Bond also participates. The Defender of the Bond represents
the marriage itself, speaking in favor of all the facts that support the validity of the
marriage. After the judge reaches a decision, both you and your ex-spouse will be notified
of the decision, unless the former spouse does not wish to be notified.
The case generally
begins on the parish level, and the priest, deacon, or pastoral associate will submit it
to the Church tribunal. After all the
information is gathered, a judge or panel of judges will write the decision. They will
decide whether or not the marriage was indeed invalid from the start.
The cost can vary
from church to church. The average cost is around $500 with a portion due at the time the
case is submitted. The rest can be paid in monthly installments. If you cannot pay the full amount, arrangements
can be set up through the church to defray some of the expense. No case is turned down due
to a person's inability to pay the fee. Hope
this gives you an idea of what to expect. – CatholicView Staff
”Why did God want His son to be called Jesus? - Davy
CatholicView Staff:
Why did God want Jesus to be named Jesus? - Davy
Dear Davy:
Someday, God willing, we can ask Him why. His ways are not our ways but one day He promises
all will be made known to us. What we
know from the bible is that the angel Gabriel appeared to the Virgin Mary who was
betrothed to Joseph and said to her, "Hail,
favored one! The Lord is with you." But
she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might
be. Then the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor
with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him
JESUS. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will
give Him the throne of David his father, and He will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his kingdom there will be no end." Read
the account in Luke 1:26-38. God bless you
– CatholicView Staff
“Does having bad thoughts constitute sin?” - Ben
CatholicView Staff:
First I want to thank you for answering some
questions a year or so ago. It helped me understand forgiveness.
My new question is does the Catholic Church believe Protestants can go to heaven? I also
have a question concerning a type of thought sin. I forget the Latin word for it but I
think it was basically allowing an evil thought to exist in the mind to long. I have had
blasphemous thoughts and they seem to keep coming. I believe that many are just my mind
remembering the original thoughts. Is
it a sin to remember these thoughts in detail or to examine them? I do not know why I think them but they come
upon me starting with temptation. The temptation will come and then the blasphemous
thought will come through. Is this a
Mortal Sin? I am not Catholic but I believe in many of the teaching of the Catholic
Church, especially mortal sin and venial sin and the Eucharist.
Dear Ben:
Thank you for your question. From your letter, CatholicView is pleased to note
that you are trying to learn more about the Lord. This
is wonderful and we applaud you for going forward in faith.
You ask if the Church believes only Catholics go to heaven. No, we do not believe only Catholics go to heaven. If a person believes in the Lord Jesus Christ as
Savior and follows His teachings, that person will go to heaven along with all who follow
Him.
As to your thoughts, I would recommend
that when these sinful thoughts come into your head that you replace them with a small
prayer. It does not have to be a long prayer. It could be something like
"Dear God, please rid me of these thoughts because I desire to only think about your
love." Say a prayer each time these thoughts come into being and you will not
only see a change but that little prayer will bring you closer to Jesus Christ.
Thoughts as such are morally neutral. Actions are what constitutes
sinfullness. As long as your thoughts do not become some kind of sinful action,
there is no sin involved.
As
to your thoughts, I would recommend that when these sinful thoughts come into your head
that you replace them with a small prayer. It
does not have to be a long prayer. It could
be something like “Dear God, please rid me of these thoughts because I
desire to only think about your love”.
Say a prayer each time these thoughts come into being and you will not only
see a change but that little prayer will bring you closer to Jesus Christ. Thoughts as such are morally neutral. Actions are what constitutes sinfulness. As long as your thoughts do not become some kind
of sinful action, there is no sin involved.
Always keep in mind that God loves us
unconditionally. Avoid any and all
things that cause you to indulge in these thoughts. If
they come to you, use a prayer to send them away. As
long as you do not act on these thoughts, you are not committing a grave sin. God is stronger than Satan who is the
culprit. The wonderful news, Ben, is that our
God, yours and mine, knows us and can read our hearts.
Keep praying and one day you will live forever with Jesus Christ, The Savior
of the world. God Bless. CatholicView Staff
“Why do bad things happen to good people?”
- Monicatfp
CatholicView Staff:
Why do bad things happen to good people? - Monicatfp
Dear Monicatfp:
So many books have been written about this
subject of “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People” because it seems so
many terrible things happen to good people. But
remember, we live in a sin filled world, full of suffering and trials because evil is
present. It all started with Adam and Eve and
has prevailed throughout the centuries.
Human suffering is a reality and when we
think about our tribulations, we must also think about how Jesus Christ suffered in order
to give us a perfect and eternal life in heaven someday.
It is in the midst of our struggles that the Holy Spirit gives us the
strength to keep going and trials become the opportunity to place our faith in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make
your paths straight"
Life is a mystery, one that someday will be
made clear to all of us who persevere. We
can only keep a firm trust in our heavenly Father, knowing that He will give us the
strength we need to carry through.
May God bless you always. – CatholicView
Staff
”I recently got a job at an ob/gyn office where
birth control is
dispensed. Where do I draw the line on what I
cannot do?” Alyssa
CatholicView Staff:
I have just recently been hired at an ob/gyn office as a medical assistant and offered a
great opportunity for on the job training that I couldn't receive anywhere else. Some of
the medical assistant duties range from simply scheduling appointments for birth control
consultations to administering the depo provera shoot. Where do I draw the line for what I
can and cannot do as a Catholic? - Alyssa
Alyssa:
I am
happy to hear that you will get the training you need in your position as an ob/gyn
medical assistant. However
I have strong misgivings concerning the dispensing of Depo Provera birth control or any
form of birth control. As I understand
it, the Depo Provera (also known as DMPA or Depot Medroxyprogesterone Acetate) is a
hormone injection that lasts for 3 months to prevent pregnancy. The injection contains
synthetic progesterone and no estrogen. It is usually given in the arm, hip, upper thigh,
or abdomen, delivering a high level of progesterone into the body. Depo Provera stops the ovaries from releasing
eggs. Depo Provera causes the cervical mucus
to thicken and changes the uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to enter or survive
in the uterus. These changes prevent
fertilization. It does, however, require a clinic appointment every 3 months.
Although I appreciate the moral situation that
you are facing, CatholicView cannot condone anything that would be contrary to what the
Church teaches. It is not clear from your
question if you are actually the person dispensing the birth control as an important part
of your job.
There is the common thought that people who
come to the medical facility would make the decision whether it is viable for them and you
do not have to force the issue. Could
you be comfortable giving consultations on something you know is against your Christian
principles? Ultimately, the moral choice belongs to the patient.
Pray and ask God to guide you. Think hard about what you are doing and try to
honestly determine if this job is right for you, and is right in the eyes of God. - CatholicView Staff
“I cursed God.
Am I beyond redemption?” - John
Dear CatholicView
Staff::
I am ashamed to admit this, but a long time ago, I was very conflicted about entering the
Catholic Church (I was raised an atheist). I'm not sure what came over me, but, for some
reason that I can't even explain, I cursed God in my thoughts. I have regretted it ever
since. It was almost as if I wanted to avoid
the painful decision of conversion by "burning the bridge". I have since been worried that I have
committed the unpardonable sin. I have still
have not been baptized. I have read
conflicting reports on the Web regarding what is unpardonable. Could you please let me know if I am beyond
redemption because of this thought, even if I truly regret it, and whether I can still
choose to be baptized? Thank you for your
time. – John
Dear John:
Thank you for writing to CatholicView.
As shown in your letter, you have a sincere
desire to be forgiven for cursing God, and it is clear that you want to find peace that
can only come through honest sorrow. And yes,
you can still choose to be baptized. Through baptism you will be forgiven not only of this
sin but also all past sin. Read
Psalm103:12 that tells us that once forgiven, all sins are removed from His memory as far
as the east is from the west, and you will be able to share in the grace, mercy, and love
of God and of Jesus Christ with all believers within the Church.
It is true that you committed a grave and
blasphemous sin by cursing God, but if you truly want to be forgiven, God, in His mercy,
will forgive you. To not go forward and ask
for forgiveness, will mean you have walked away from God for eternity; you have turned
away forever by choice. The unforgiveable sin
is the inability to accept God's forgiveness, love, and peace even to the point of
death. You have not committed the unforgiveable sin. The fact that you have
searched and see God's forgiveness means that you have not committed the unforgiveable
sin.
I will not say that cursing God is irrevocable
because over 2,000 years ago, God came to earth in the presence of Jesus Christ Who died
for those who had committed irrevocable sin. He
paid the price for people, just like you and just like me, to enter God’s heaven for
all eternity. He stands, even now, wanting
you to accept His gift of eternal life. By
the shedding of His blood, ANYONE who believes in His Divinity, His forgiveness, and His
love, and lives according to what He taught
WILL BE saved, and you can be among them.
I implore you to ask for forgiveness from God
immediately. Say a simple prayer of sorrow to
start off. You do not have to use fancy
words. In fact He has seen your misery of past thoughts and has
already forgiven you because He can read your heart.
He knows your sorrow. But
He waits for you to ask Him for that forgiveness. You
must ask to get it and He will hand it to you with love.
He will then erase all memory of this past sin.
Be completely honest, knowing that we can never fool God. You see, John, God wants you to live forever in
His Kingdom, and He wants you to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, but He will not force
anyone to believe that He is your Creator and that Christ paid for all sin. Be willing to come before Him in prayerful
remorse. Please do not delay for none of us
know when this earthly life will end.
There are many places in the Bible that speak
of God’s forgiveness of sin, which comes through the acceptance of His Son. Romans 3:24 in the New Testament tells us “Yet
God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ
Jesus when He freed us from the penalty for our sins.” And then again in Romans 5: 17 “For the
sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s
wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph
over sin and death through this one Man, Jesus Christ.”
And so, John, I ask you to pray to God right
away. Say a simple prayer, such as “Please forgive me God. Say it with the profound sorrow that you are
feeling. Say it throughout the day whether
aloud or silently in your heart as you go about your day.
Or use the prayer below which is the Act of Contrition we all say during the
Sacrament of Confession:
"O my God, I am heartily sorry for
having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven, and
the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who are all good and
deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my
sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
John, please see a parish priest in any church
of your choice as soon as possible. Do not
delay. The priest will pray with you and give
you instructions on being baptized. Do not
let Satan interfere and steal you from eternity. God
is now speaking to your heart and soul because He genuinely loves you and feels your
regret. Keep focused and know that you are
on the right road.
We are waiting to welcome you as part of our
Church family. May the Lord
strengthen you to move forward in your search for peace. -
CatholicView Staff
“My Catholic
daughter is now Jewish and her daughter
is celebrating her Bat Mitzvah . How can I
accept this?” - Betty
CatholicView Staff:
My daughter was raised Catholic but converted to Judaism upon her marriage. Soon her
oldest daughter will be making her bat mitzvah. I will attend the ceremony and celebration
but having a hard time feeling hurt she is not a Catholic. How can I accept this
graciously? - Betty
(For those readers who do not know
what a bat mitzvah is, it is the coming of age for a Jewish girl, a time when she is
considered mature and it is celebrated in the synagogue, followed by a gathering of good
wishers. )
Dear
Betty:
I am so sorry that you are feeling hurt. Remember that your daughter is an adult and has
made a choice for herself and her family. You
cannot change that. You must pray hard
for them that God will give them the clarity to realize that they have lost Jesus Christ
in this process. Pray that your daughter will
understand this loss.
Keep in mind that you cannot interfere in any way. Continue
to pray for your daughter and her family.- CatholicView Staff
”My friend is Jewish and is having difficulties. How do I get
him to accept Jesus?” Brandon
Hello CatholicView Staff,
I have a friend that is Jewish and he is having major difficulties in his life. How do I
tell him in a kind way to allow Jesus into His life and convert to Catholicism?
-
Brandon
Brandon:
Interesting question. Religion is a very difficult subject to broach to
someone of the Jewish faith. If you
feel that your friend would welcome such a discussion, I would probably test the waters by
asking him simply if he believes in God and whether or not he would like you to pray for
him. This would be a start. If he is
amendable to that and is interested, you might ask if he would like to know more about
what God has done for you. But tread slowly
and gain an insight on whether he would like to know more about God, the Son. But DO NOT force the issue. Let your friend see your faith and question you
about it. Be ready for this. Take one step at a time. Religion can never be forced, even in times of
trouble. Give your friend time to absorb the
idea of a God Who listens, loves, and cares for him.
You are a good friend. Hope
this helps. – CatholicView
Staff
“I want the
spotlight and the girl of my dreams and
I have not received this. What does God want
from me?” - Chad
CatholicView Staff:
I've never had the spot light, I want fame, glory and the girl
of my dreams, but God hasn't given me any of those things. I'm afraid to trust him
because I don't know what he wants from me. What does God want from me? - Chad
Chad:
I am sorry you feel unfulfilled in your
life. I am afraid only few of us ever receive
the spotlight of fame and glory. We do have
moments of recognition at happy moments of graduations, jobs,
honors, in church, etc. but if you are referring to a worldwide spotlight, the
majority of us never achieve that. As to a
girlfriend, have you prayed and ask God to bring someone into your life?
Spend a little less
time with self and broaden your interests by helping others as God wants us all to
do. Jesus tell us, ”But seek ye
first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto
you.” - Matthew 6:33.
Remember we cannot see the future. Be patient and wait on the Lord. His ways are not our ways but He does ask us to
depend on His goodness.
You ask what the Lord wants from you. He wants your love and your obedience to Him. He wants you to give all your cares to Him and wait
for His blessings. He wants your trust and
obedience. And He wants your sincere belief
in His Son, Jesus Christ. – CatholicView Staff
”Can I wear shorts to mass?” – Robert
CatholicView Staff
Is it ok to wear shorts to Sunday mass? I
had a priest tell me that it was wrong. Thanks. Robert
Robert:
Shorts for a man attending mass would not be acceptable attire. If God has blessed you with a clean and
decent pair of pants, wear them. Give
dignity and honor to the God Who created you. The
church is where God resides and it is a sacred place.
– CatholicView Staff
“Can I indulge myself in Tarot cards and Wiccan
rituals if I do not take it seriously?” - Bryan
CatholicView Staff:
I have recently discovered tarot cards and found them to be very interesting. Is it
possible I could research this and practice it, as long as I do not do it seriously, or
practice in other Wiccan rituals? -
Bryan
Bryan:
Thank you for writing. Tarot cards are an instrument of Satan and the
bible clearly forbids it. Wiccan rituals are
another abomination spoken of in the bible also.
The
bible tells us in Leviticus20:27"A man or a woman who acts as a medium or
fortune-teller shall be put to death by stoning: they have no one but themselves to blame
for their death".
Read Deuteronomy 18:47: “The nations you
are about to displace consult sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but the Lord your God forbids
you to do such things.” Then again, In Jeremiah 27:9,“Do not listen to your
false prophets, fortune-tellers, interpreters of dreams, mediums, and
sorcerers…” In Acts 13: 8, Paul
rebukes Simon Magus, a magician, who wanted to buy the powers of the Holy Spirit to make
himself more powerful.
We must avoid the things that are forbidden to
us as Christian Catholics. To use Tarot Cards or any other means or sources such as
fortune telling is wrong. And to indulge or
believe in Wicca rituals is sinful and is forbidden by the church. To indulge in such practices would be to associate
yourself with witchcraft and the occult. This is an abomination to God and I would advise
you to keep away from such evil practices, even for fun.
I am including a link to a page written by
Father William Saunders “The History of Tarot
Cards”. I encourage you to read this very informative writing. http://catholiceducation.org/articles/apologetics/ap0109.html. Father Saunders tells us “To invoke Satan or any other power, to enter the
darkness (the occult) for any assistance, or to attempt to usurp powers which belong to
God alone is a defiance of the authority of Almighty God. To commit such acts is to turn
away from God and place our own souls in jeopardy. God
bless you and help you in you research for truth - CatholicView Staff
“I cannot get to mass often because my mother is
ill,
Does watching EWTN make up for it? - Carol
CatholicView Staff:
I’m presently taking care of my mom at home, so I am unable to get to mass a lot of
times, so the question I have, is if I watch mass on EWTN every day and weekend does that
make up for it? My mom is 86 yrs old so I
have to be with her all the time. – Thanks, carol
Dear Carol:
I am sorry that you are not able to attend mass
on a regular basis. You are to be commended
for such an unselfish act of caring for your mother.
God already knows that the care of your mom is very important. Call your parish office and speak to someone
about having a Minister of the Eucharist come
to your home to bring the Sacrament of Communion and possibly share a gospel reading with
you and possibly your mother.
It is
wonderful that you watch EWTN with your
mother but having a live person share with you would be a way of bringing the Lord to your
home through the Holy Eucharist. God bless
you for the love and care you give to your mom. –
CatholicView Staff.
”If I did not know a particular sin was mortal and
did it anyway, will God forgive me?” - Elissa
Dear CatholicView Staff:
If you commit a mortal sin thinking it was venial and if you knew it was mortal you would
have NEVER done it, are you guilty of a mortal sin even though when you did it you
didn’t know it was so serious?
Many thanks. A lost soul struggling. - Elissa
Alissa:
Thank you for your question. If one honestly and seriously commits a sin in
complete ignorance that this action is a grave sin, you are not guilty of mortal sin But all sin is abhorrent to God whether
venial or mortal, and so we must avoid it if possible.
Now that you do know the sin you committed is mortal, stay away from it.
God knows you did not realize your sin was a
serious one. Ask God for forgiveness, go to
Rite of Reconciliation, and be reconciled with the Church.
God bless you. - CatholicView Staff
“My wife and I cannot have normal intimate
relations.
Can we engage in other ways?” - David
CatholicView Staff:
My wife and I have been married for 37 years and are practicing Catholics. She is well
beyond childbearing age and I have had a prostate operation that rendered me sterile. I
also have Peyronies disease, which causes my wife pain and extreme discomfort when we
attempt regular intercourse. Given our situation, no possibility for procreation,
extremely painful intercourse to the point of no enjoyment, and our sincere desire for
unitive intimacy is it sinful for us to engage in oral sex and/or manual stimulation?
Thank you. - David
Dear David:
I am sorry that you are having such problems
with Peyronie’s disease. Unfortunately,
we are not medical doctors at CatholicView. As
I understand it, “Peyronie's is a disease that causes a bent penis during
erection. A hard, fibrous layer of scar tissue (plaque) develops under the skin on the
upper or lower side of the penis. When the penis is erect, the scar tissue pulls the
affected area off at an angle, causing a curved penis. The plaque, formed by thickened
layers of soft tissue in the penis is noncancerous (benign). The condition can cause pain
and make sexual intercourse difficult. Sometimes Peyronie's disease improves without
treatment, so your doctor may initially recommend a wait-and-see approach. Treatments of
Peyronie's disease involve nonsurgical and surgical approaches.”
I believe you should get firm information from
your doctor and follow his recommendations for your own intimacy needs. If
you have any further questions, please talk to your parish priest and bring this answer to
him. I am sure he will be qualified to offer you the help and the solution that you
and your wife need. May God bless you. - CatholicView
Staff
“If I took my own life, could I still go to
heaven?”
- Zandra
CatholicView Staff:
I have suffered a long time with depression and want to know if I took my own life, would
there be any way I could still go to Heaven?
Dear Zandra:
No one can stand as judge of your soul. I do
not know your thoughts, desires, regrets, or prayers.
God is the only one Who can judge you.
God alone can decide your actions and weigh them on His eternal scale. But I can say
this: I know in the deepest part of my heart
that you are loved by God, loved by Jesus Christ, our Savior and He wants you to live. Nothing is impossible for God. Wait and pray.
Don’t give up. Depend on
the Lord. If you can just depend on Him He
will come through with courage for you to withstand your trials and all your pain. NEVER GIVE UP!
NEVER!
When the
night gets the darkest, Jesus Christ is there with you, and if you let Him, He will help
you to weather the heaviest storms of your life. And
so I advise you to hold on. I will be praying
for you tonight, Zandra. .Please get the type
of help you need, whether medical or spiritual. Talk
to somebody. Life is so precious.
I
want you to pray, Zandra, a simple little prayer
“Lord Jesus, I trust in You.
I put all my depression and anxiety into your hands.”
Please if you have thoughts of hurting or killing yourself,
seek out the attention of a mental health professional immediately. Or you may contact
Catholic Charities to schedule an appointment at 1-866-682-2166 or go visit this link
which is National: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html
USA National Suicide
Hotlines : Toll Free/ 24 Hours/ 7 days a week 1 800- SUICIDE OR (1-800-784
– 2433)
1-800-TALK (1-800-
273-8255 or TTY 1-800 799-4TTY (4889)
Remember, you are beautiful and you are loved.
= CatholicView Staff
”Am I in mortal sin talking to my neighbor who
may be falling in love with me?” – Roger
CatholicView Staff:
My neighbor is sad in her marriage. I say nice things to her to make her happy and she
says nice things back. I think she's falling in love with me. I'm married & don't want to have
feelings for her. They come and go) but I
want to say things to make her happy. I
like to hear the nice things about me. Am I
mortal sinning?
Dear Roger:
Thank you for writing. It is wonderful that you offer your neighbor
understanding.. But that understanding must
be pure and without self-involvement or motive.. If
you see that your neighbor is beginning to have feelings for you, it would be wise to
limit your time and your conversation to just a concerned neighbor and not encourage a
personal relationship. A Christian must avoid
the occasion of sin. .
You say your feelings “come and go”. This is a problem you must avoid. I would suggest that you be cordial
but do not linger long enough for the neighbor to engage you in her life. You are not a trained marriage
counselor. And you must not get further
involved. You might suggest that
she speak to a priest or a trained professional
Certainly your neighbor knows you are married. And since you are neighbors, perhaps your wife
could be the one to offer advice to this lady. As
to whether you are committing a mortal sin, this will depend on whether you have acted out
on your feelings, encouraged this situation or
not. We are told “to avoid the occasion
of sin” and this is one of those
occasions. – CatholicView Staff
“Is it valid for a couple to go to confession
together?”
- Angela
CatholicView Staff:
If a married couple gives confession together (with the approval of the confessor) is it
valid or does it NOT go along with the Sacrament of Penance? Thank you. -
Angela
Dear Angela:
There are Pros and Cons to your very
interesting question. Catholic News Service
veteran columnist Fr. John Deitzen has this to say about joint confessions: “Provided that couples "approve and
consider it helpful for their marriage", Deitzen holds that spouses may confess their
sins in each other's presence and receive absolution. He notes only that each spouse would
be bound by the seal of confession in regard to what he or she learned about the other.
”Father Deitzen goes on to say, “I believe,
however, that there are formidable canonical and practical objections to joint sacramental
confession, and I set them out for consideration.”
“Deitzen's basic argument runs thus: there is no express canonical or
liturgical prohibition against spouses confessing sacramentally in each other's presence,
so "couple's confession" is licit. But even if, pro arguendo, no
norm expressly prohibits joint confession, one may still ask, So what? There is no canon
against the faithful attending Mass drunk or naked, but surely we cannot read the law's
"silence" as approval, qualified or otherwise, for such practices. The Church
could not possibly identify in advance and prohibit every illicit practice that the
faithful might think of. Inclined though I am to give wide play in canon law to the legal
maxim Libertas praesumitur (Freedom is presumed), joint confession is an
instance where that worthy principle must yield to weightier considerations.
Indeed, I suggest that it is clearly discernible from several canonical norms that joint
confession should be avoided. Ironically, Deitzen identifies these norms but seems to miss
their obvious (to me, anyway) implications.
Deitzen acknowledges that Canon
960 holds that "Individual and integral confession and absolution constitute
the only ordinary means" of celebrating the sacrament of confession, but he fails to
include the next clause of the canon: "only physical or moral impossibility excuses
from confession of this type." The phrase Deitzen omits seems fatal for his argument:
Standing alone, I think it defeats the liceity of "couple's confession" on
Deitzen's facts: one cannot plausibly suggest, let alone prove, that it is morally
impossible for one spouse to confess his or her sins except in the presence of the other
spouse”. “ For more information use this link:
http://www.canonlaw.info/2007/08/spouses-should-not-attempt-joint.html - CatholicView Staff
"Can minors take wine at the Sacrament of the
Eucharist?”
– Julien
CatholicView Staff:
Is the Church legally allowed to offer wine to minors? – Julien
Dear Julien:
The Bill of Rights guarantees freedom of
religious practices without interference by the government and the Catholic Church does
not withhold the communion wine from children who want to receive it. Since it is only a sip that is received, it does
not alter or change the child's constitution.
All Catholic Children receive the species of
Bread, but if they choose to receive the Wine species, they are legally permitted to do
so. Hope this helps. -
CatholicView Staff
”Is it okay for me to wear a Kippah when I attend
a Jewish wedding? - Dan
CatholicView Staff:
I will be attending a Jewish Wedding. They will want the men to wear kippahs. Is this OK? Dan
Dear Dan:
There is nothing wrong in wearing a Kippah in a
synagogue. It is a sign of respect for your
Jewish friends and their place of worship. The
Kippah is a head covering for Jewish men attending the synagogue to remind that something
is always between man and God and it is also a sign of humility and acknowledgment that
God is above man.
Enjoy the celebration. – CatholicView Staff
”I am taking a motor coach trip and will not be
able to
attend mass. Is this a legitimate
excuse?” Bill
CatholicView Staff:
I will be going on a motor coach trip later this year. This trip and others like it are
typically Wednesday morning through Sunday evening. Obviously, the motor coach driver is
not going to take me to a Catholic Church on Saturday evening or Sunday morning during the
tour to attend mass. Is this a reasonable/legitimate excuse for missing the Eucharistic
liturgy. Aside: I typically go several times during the week, as well as on Sunday morning
when I am not on vacation. - Bill
Bill:
Sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances in
which we are unable to fulfill our Sunday obligation.
We may find ourselves in a town is unfamiliar, and we are unable to
locate a Catholic Church to attend Mass.
If, you discover that there is no church close
enough to get to or the times are wrong, this is not your fault since you have not
deliberately avoided attending Church.
God knows your situation and He understands. But you should set aside an hour or more on that
Sunday praying and reading the bible in honor of that sacred day. But I have told many people who have been in your similar
situation: If you cannot attend Mass on Sunday, make it a point to go to Mass during
the week so that you may receive communion and hear the Word of God. May the Lord go with you and keep you safe during your
travels. - CatholicView Staff
”My fiancé and I drank too much alcohol and we
slept
at my house in different beds. Did we sin?” - Matthew
CatholicView Staff:
Last weekend me, my fiancé, my fiancé’s best friend, and my roommate all went out.
We all had a little too much to drink and so when we got back to my house we all crashed.
My fiancé slept in my bed, along with her best friend, and I slept on the couch
downstairs. My fiancés mom is freaking out and treating us as if we just told her that
we're pregnant, which we of course are not. We were just wondering if we did anything
wrong. We're both 23 and devout Catholics and neither one of us sees anything wrong with
what we did. Are we wrong? or is my future mother-in-law wrong?
Hello Matthew:
You did nothing wrong except for indulging
excessively in alcohol. But even then, you acted like a gentleman and steered clear
of what might have turned into a sin.
I believe your future mother-in-law sees the
fact that you might have influenced her daughter to act inappropriately by spending the
night. You should explain the circumstances if possible, without further alienating
your fiancé’s mother.. Surely if you both collaborate this incident, possibly
along with your other friends, she will see and understand. But it is still an
occasion of sin you must avoid in the future.
To prevent such confrontations, try to limit
your alcohol in the future. God bless. - CatholicView Staff
”Did I sin in joking about masturbation?” -
Roger
CatholicView Staff:
I have a moral question. I was texting a friend of mine and we were joking around. I sent
a text as a joke to be funny that had a reference to masturbation. I told him later I was
sorry. Am I in mortal sin for joking like that? I am very concerned. Please help me ASAP.
- Roger
Roger:
Thank you for your question.
I am very happy you apologized to your
friend for joking about masturbation. You have not committed a mortal
sin because no sexual action was taken. In the future be mindful not
to cause others to have lustful thoughts by joking about this serious
matter. There is an informative article written on this subject in
CatholicView. Please use this link to read it: masturbation May2007
God knows your intent was not to sin and He
recognizes that you are truly sorry for putting into words something that is considered
sinful. Please ask God for His forgiveness through prayer and
confession. Go forward in the Lord. - CatholicView Staff
”My girlfriend takes chemo pills for rheumatoid
arthritis. She
cannot have children. Is this situation moral?” - Jim
CatholicView Staff:
My girlfriend is 46 and has extreme rheumatoid arthritis that requires her to take chemo
pills. If I were to marry her then she said that she would have to take birth control
pills because the chemo pills would kill any baby which are necessary would kill any baby.
I am a strict catholic? Is this situation moral? - Jim
Dear Jim:
This is a matter you both need to discuss with
your girlfriend’s physician before you can come to a logical conclusion. If she
has a serious health condition which will impair her ability to have children, then she
must follow her doctor’s orders and if the doctor's orders include taking medications
that would impede a safe pregnancy, then the situation is morally neutral since
there is nothing much anyone can do to solve this dilemma.
You both must be clear on what should be
done. Once you have all the facts, go and talk to your priest about this
situation. - CatholicView Staff
”Is a student required to tithe?” - Ogwang
CatholicView Staff:
I would like you to enlighten me on 'tithe',
and whether someone who doesn't earn income, say a student, is obliged to pay it ?
(tithe). Thank you. - Oqwanq
Ogwang:
Tithing is an open act of faith and of
worship. Using your example of a student who does not earn income, this would
then depend on whether this student receives money from parents who support that person
monetarily. Out of this money a small
portion, usually 5% to the Church should be given to support the church’s upkeep and
5% to a charity of choice. Although small, it becomes an act of worship
and of faith. Luke 6:30 reads, “Give, and it shall be given to you: good measure and
pressed down and shaken together and running over shall they give into your bosom. For
with the same measure that you shall mete withal, it shall be measured to you again.
As
Jesus sat watching the treasury where people cast their tithes, “...He beheld how the people cast
money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain
poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called unto him his
disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more
in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all
that she had, even all her living.” Mark 12:41-44.
And so, Ogwang, whatever one gives, even if it
is just a small offering, know that God will be pleased that the person has done so out of
faith and love. Hope this helps. – CatholicView Staff
“Do I have to wait for a tragedy to happen before
God answers me?”: - VG
CatholicView Staff:
We pray and pray, have faith and yet nothing gives.
My family is at its worst and I ask God why and yet no answers.
Do I have to wait for tragedy to hit in order to see the light? If so, why?
It’s not fair, we have been suffering for over a year. – VG
VG:
I am sorry to hear that you are faced with so
many troubles in your life. God does hear each and every one of our
prayers. Many times we do not listen quietly for His answers. To believe
that He provides instant solutions for our earthly problems the way we want them
means we have not yet understood that God answers in His own way and in His own
time. This is difficult for all of us to understand.
There is an article in A CatholicView
that explains the subject of prayer that I think will be worth exploring. Here is
the link: Does God Answer Prayer?
Always remember that the Lord loves and cares
for you. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff
”The Bishop heard my confession but would not give
me
communion. What should I do?” - Phillis
CatholicView Staff:
I felt worse after confession. The Bishop heard my confession and afterwards would not
give me communion, he always gives communion on the right side of the church (I'm a daily
communicant), today, he purposely moved to the left when he saw me. What should I do? -
Phillis
Dear Phillis:
I do not
know the circumstances of your confession to your bishop.
Yet, you still received communion and that is all that matters. The most important part of Holy Communion is NOT
the minister of communion, the Body and Blood of Christ present in the Holy Eucharist
is. I do not know why the bishop changed
positions but that doesn’t matter. The
minister of Holy Communion is not important. Jesus
is all that matters. You may be reading more
into the bishop’s changing of positions than is really there. Be at peace.
The bishop is not important. Jesus
is. - CatholicView Staff
“When does one receive the
Holy Spirit?” - Inez
CatholicView Staff:
I am about to be confirmed at Easter vigil this year and I know that when I make my
confirmation I receive the Holy Spirit. But
didn't I receive the Holy Spirit already at baptism?? Confused. Thank you kindly - Inez
Dear Inez:
When the adult accepts Christ as Lord and
Savior and is baptized, the Holy Spirit takes up residence immediately in the soul and
gives assurance that it is present and that the person now willingly belongs to Jesus
Christ. The Holy Spirit also makes known
spiritual things to us thereby confirming that we are new creations in Christ and warns
when we are about to step away from the teaching of God.
For
children who have been already baptized, the Holy Spirit takes residence in their souls. The Sacrament of Confirmation is the completion of
the initiation process in the Church. In the
Sacrament of Confirmation, the Holy Spirit takes on a different relationship with the
confirmed person. In Baptism, the Holy
Spirit creates the relationship of the baptized person to God as Father. In the Sacrament of Confirmation, the Holy Spirit
creates a relationship of the confirmed person as a prophet, a speaker for God, an
ambassador of Christ in the world. The Holy
Spirit then has different “ministries” in the sacrament of baptism and
confirmation yet He is present in all the sacraments.
So, here is the work of the Holy Spirit in sacramental form in a summary
form for you:
1)
Baptism: The
Spirit of God makes the baptized person a son or daughter of God and member of
Christ’s Body, the Church;
2)
Confirmation: The Spirit of God makes the confirmed person an
ambassador of Christ, with the inspiration to speak in His Name as a prophet (meaning
speaking for God….not telling the future);
3)
Holy
Eucharist: The Spirit of God transforms
bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ as food for His people;
4)
Penance/Confession/Reconciliation: The Spirit of God forgives and heals the wounded
soul and reconciles the penitent to the Church, the Body of believers;
5)
Marriage: The Spirit of God makes the married couple a
living symbol of Christ’s love for His Church;
6)
Holy
Orders: Ordination to the orders
of Deacon, Priest; Bishop: The Spirit of God
sets aside a person for ordained ministry as a symbol of His presence in the world;
7)
Anointing
of the Sick: The Spirit of God comes upon
the person as healer of body and soul.
Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
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