Dear Father Cedric:

Would it ever be licit for parents to have their severely autistic adult daughter sterilized or given long-term contraception? They fear when they are no longer able/present to care for her she may fall prey to sexual predators in a group home or facility. Thank you. – Magdalena

Magdalena,

I understand your worries about this.  My instinct is that nothing would ever happen to the parents' daughter, but you never know.  I have consulted my canon lawyer about this and here is his reply.  I hope it helps. – Father Cedric

“The basic information is that the Church teaches us that sterility or infertility cannot be imposed on a woman.  Whether done by drugs or through surgical procedures, the reproductive capacity of a person is sacred and should be respected.  The problem emerges from the exceptional circumstance of a woman's inability to manage and be responsible for her own reproductive activity.  The moralists who have worked with this kind of issue see options that are exceptions to the norm.  The parents of the woman should contact their pastor and ask for a reference to someone who can work with them to explore what options they have as parents to protect their daughter from rape and from its consequences.”

”Where does cavemen and dinosaurs fit into Genesis 1
in the bible?” Janine

Father Cedric:

I am a Catechist at a parish in Tabernacle, NJ. I teach seventh grade and find that my students have many questions that I struggle to answer.  This week we read Genesis 1.  The students asked where cavemen and dinosaurs fit in to the whole thing.  I had no idea how to answer this.  Can you help me answer this question?  Thank you!  - Janine

Janine,

I’m glad you are teaching the 7^th graders. Thank you for taking on that role. I know it is a challenge, but you are laying a great foundation within them. Keep up the great work!

In terms of your question, you have to be careful to take Scripture too literally. For example, God did not create heaven and earth in seven literal days.  Rather, the Scriptures are proclaiming the truth that God created all that is over time.  That is the first truth that you should try to make known to your students.

Secondly, science and religion can be reconciled.  We religious people must use the best of science as well as our intellects to understand the world.  It is clear that the world evolved and developed under God’s care. God created the world and set it in motion.  God mysteriously and providentially guides each day and its events. At some point, there were dinosaurs and cavemen.  Archeology tells us this. As believers we know that it was God who was the source of their existence.   At some point in our development humans evolved, sinned and fell short of the glory of God.  The creation story is telling us that God is the source of everything and eventually humans fell. Be careful of being too literal with the story timeline/historicity. Rather, look for the truths:  What is the story really saying? God created us.  We fell.  We need a redeemer.  God will never forsake us.  If you stay with the truths of Scripture, the point of the stories will help your students not to be confused. Science and the Bible can be reconciled as long as we don’t take the Bible too literally historically.  Scripture proclaims truths and these truths we must proclaim.  All the while we must learn from the best of what science and other observations teach us.- Father Cedric

”Are gay people “God’s mistakes?” - Deborah

Father Cedric:

I am having problems with a view of my mother’s and I would like your help.  I am a practicing Catholic and so is she.   We were having a discussion about gays, and my mom says they are God’s mistakes.  I am very offended by this response.  I have had many gay acquaintances over the years, and most I feel, were born gay.  I feel this way because of their femininity or in females their masculinity.  To me this was clearly in their genes.  How could she as an alleged Christian, who taught me to be loving, kind, and accepting of all, claim gays are mistakes of God?  I have a hard time with her view on this matter and would like some help how to respond to her totally out of line view? – Deborah

Deborah:

You are right in being upset with your Mom’s views about gays.  First of all, God doesn’t make mistakes! You’ve probably heard the phrase, “God doesn’t make junk.”  The church teaches that God loves homosexuals and their orientation isn’t sinful in and of itself.   However, they must remain chaste and not act out as all single people are called to chastity.

Are gay people born that way?  Many studies have been done about the nature/nurture question.  It would seem that there is a propensity for a person to tend toward being gay from birth.  Other studies show that it seems to be a decision. Even gay people themselves aren’t quite sure.  This is one of the mysteries of being human.

How do you respond to your mother?  By telling her that God doesn’t make mistakes.  The Church proclaims God’s love for homosexuals.  While we should not agree with the lifestyle of some gays, we must respect and love each person for who they are. – Father Cedric

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

”What do Catholics believe we need to do to be saved?”
- Kristin

CatholicView Staff:

Many Protestants believe that if you believe that Jesus is God's son, no matter what you do, as long as you believe Jesus died for you and is Christ, you will go to heaven. What do we believe that we need to do to be saved? - Kristin

Dear Kristin:

Catholics believe that your faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior will save you and bring you to heaven.  Through your faith in Jesus as Lord, heaven is yours as guaranteed by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  But there is a major difference in how we define the word FAITH as Catholics.  Faith is an action word, not a passive word.  Faith demands an active response to the gift of salvation.  It is not a passive word such as I believe therefore I get to go to heaven.  I believe demands action on my part as a response to God's love.   The apostle James wrote about this in the New Testament (James 2:14-26):  What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?  Can faith save him?  If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well,' but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is that?  So also with faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead.  Indeed, someone might say, 'You have faith and I have works.'  Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works."   Catholics have a problem with just saying that faith will simply save you.  Faith and works are linked and our faith must inform what we do everyday.  If you have a saving faith, you will show it in your life and people will see it.  The gift of salvation is freely given and is not taken away by God.  But human beings can give back the gift of salvation or not accept it.  We as human beings have free will and we cannot be forced to do anything.  That's why faith is an action word:  my faith is an active submission to God through Jesus Christ.  Faith is a daily act, and hourly act, a minute-by-minute act.  Yet, at any time, I can say to God that I don't want His gift of salvation and love.  So, when you write, "no matter what you do, as long as you believe Jesus died...you will go to heaven."  You can see that the conclusion of that sentence is plain wrong.  I can say I believe but I can also not accept the gift of salvation by not acting on my faith in Jesus.  So as long as I am ACTING in Jesus' name, I have my place in heaven, guaranteed.  But if I should turn my back on God and not want to have anything to do with Him, then my place is hell is reserved with my name on it.  Saying I believe in Jesus doesn't guarantee my place in heaven.  But saying I believe and living it daily in my live is eternal life itself.   You asked, "What do we believe that we need to do to be saved?"  The answer is simple like God:  believe and accept Jesus as Lord in your life and live it, show it, and rejoice in it.   That's it.  Nothing more.  But such faith in Jesus demands your complete attention for the rest of your earthly life!  It is interesting that Saint Paul (and NO WHERE in the New Testament) says that a simple declaration of faith ALONE will get you to heaven.  On the contrary, faith is like a race, and my life is destined for the goal:   salvation.  Salvation is something I do not yet completely possess but one day will.  So, in I Corinthians 9:24-27, Saint Paul writes this:  "Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize?  Run as to win!  Every athlete exercises discipline in every way.  They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one.  This I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing.  No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."  Saint Paul states so clearly that an active faith filled with the fruits of such faith is an every day experience that demands spiritual discipline and maturity.  Even Saint Paul recognizes that salvation can be lost when he stated that he could be "disqualified."  But as long as I am living my faith, heaven is mine.   When I turn my back completely on God, my salvation is lost.  Repentance is always the way back to the road of salvation.  I am confident in my active faith now.   I run the race of life.  I am living my faith.  I am truly happy knowing that salvation is mine in Jesus Christ!  Amazing grace!    - CatholicView Staff

”I do not want my dad to give me away at my wedding.
  Is this disrespectful?” - Amber

CatholicView Staff:

I do not have a great relationship with my Dad, in fact he's hurt me a lot.   I feel that I do not want him to 'give me away' at my wedding. I just want to walk down the aisle by myself.   Is this disrespecting my Father and not honoring him as God asks? – Amber

Amber:

You decide if you want anyone to escort you to your wedding or “walk” you down the aisle.   Not having your father escort you because he has hurt you in the past or even worse truly violated your trust in him as a father is a decision that you must make.  There is no sin if you chose not to have your father escort you.  On the other hand, you walking in by yourself or with someone else as your escort will be the subject of many whispers and rumors shared by those invited to your wedding.  If you feel that having your father walk you down the aisle is inappropriate, then don’t ask him.   This is your wedding day.  No need to explain to anyone your decision in regards to your father’s participation. – CatholicView Staff

”Are people like Hugh Hefner morally responsible for what
happens to people in his company?” -  Amy

 CatholicView Staff:

With the recent success of shows like "the girls next door" I began wondering, would someone like Hugh Hefner be morally responsible for anything that happens to people as a result of his company?  For example, he is famous for having his large parties at the playboy mansion, there is a story of a young woman dying from a drug overdose at one of these parties.  When he dies is that death on his hand? Or is it solely her fault for choosing to attend the party and take drugs?  Would any women or men that fell into the life of addiction (drugs, sex, etc.) because of his company be completely his fault in the eyes of God? - Amy

Amy:

Corporate sin is the concept that as a group, people will be held responsible by God for their group’s sin and how it negatively effects the people around the world.  I believe that these kind of companies (and their employees) that sell a sexual lifestyle without morals will be held responsible by God and will have to answer to God for their individual and group (corporate) sins.  With that in mind, please be aware that we are all sinners in God’s eyes because we all belong to some kind of group, organization, family, government that have committed sin corporately.  I too will be held responsible to God for the sins of the group I belong to, such as the Roman Catholic Church’s leadership, or since I am an American citizen, be held responsible for my own participation in the sins of my government’s actions.   Please read an article I wrote about this concept of corporate sin.  Please click on this link for the article: http://catholicvu.com/newpage173.htm . - CatholicView Staff

 
”Is it right for priests to drink and cuss?” - Annette

CatholicView Staff:

Is it right for priests to drink and cuss? I have witnessed both with three different priests. Should this be something to sweep under the rug? I feel it is morally wrong.  - Annette

Dear Annette:

I am sorry you had to witness such irresponsible behavior from the clergy.  Though they are human beings with human emotions, common sense and their religious standing as Christ-like examples are not being met.   Our priests should refrain from using curse words or indulge excessively in alcohol.  This is not the picture these priests should be presenting to those who look up to them for guidance.

On the church level, perhaps you could either speak to the priests themselves concerning their reproachable actions, telling them they are not behaving in a exemplary or commendable way as priests.  Try perhaps talking to one of the deacons in your church.  At the very worst, you could write to the diocese in charge of priests and present what is happening at your parish.

Let’s pray that your priests see the error of their ways and amend them.  – CatholicView Staff.

 
”Because I have RA and take meds I must not get pregnant. 
Can I ever marry if I cannot have children?” - Katie

Dear Katie:

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with Rheumatoid Arthritis and its effects that also negatively affect the inner organs of the body.  The medications that you are taking are powerful to keep the body from losing mobility.  You are correct in saying that having children would be problematic, especially for the unborn child.  If you were to have children, then you must consult your medical professionals so they can help you navigate through the drug therapy effects of rheumatoid arthritis.  Since the sacrament of marriage implies that a male and female couple must fulfill the two goals of marriage and sexual union, unitive (completing the love bond) and procreative (being open to life and having children), you may enjoy the sacrament of marriage fully despite your medical condition.  You can fulfill the procreative goal of marriage by adopting children or trying with your doctor to have your own children.  This may mean the disruption of your drug therapy.  Even though the “inability” to procreate or being open to having a family may be an impediment of a valid sacramental marriage, that doesn’t mean that marriage is not an option for you.  On the contrary, the Church hopes you can marry and live out your dreams of having a family.  Nonetheless, concerning the use of artificial means of birth control, always follow the advice of your doctor since he knows the details of your chronic illness and how to work with rheumatoid arthritis.  In your particular and unique case, there is no sin committed when following the orders of your doctor concerning your medical needs and your health.  – CatholicView Staff 

”How can I approach my dying sister into making a
confession before she dies?” - Devlin

CatholicView Staff:

My sister is dying soon.  I came back to the church after 35 years and find great comfort in it.  How do I approach my sister into making confession before she dies?   Also, she has hospice coming to the house: How do I know when not calling for help in reviving her when she passes is not a sin?  I don't want to revive her over and over again, just to gain a few weeks more of pain and confusion.   Please help. - Devlin

Devlin: 

I am so sorry to hear that your sister is dying.  The Lord has certainly given you the strength necessary to help your sister make the transition from this life to the next.  You will be blessed by God for this kindness.  As for your sister making her "last" confession, that can be difficult, especially if the person is fearful of what that could mean for them.  There are many situations in which a person is open to have a priest there and others who did not want one because it meant that death was near.  Have you asked your sister?  The best thing you can do is ask plainly.  There is no time for trying to be "diplomatic" about bringing up the issue of getting ready for death.  I found that the most direct approach is helpful because it gives direction when the sick person cannot think clearly on their own.   I would say, "Sister, would you like to see a priest now?  He could administer the Anointing of the Sick and hear your confession.  I will call for him now, OK?"  That's the best approach!  Otherwise, if your sister falls into a state of confusion or coma, it would be best to call the priest on your own without her approval.  As for your other question concerning when to allow "nature" to takes its course, that would depend on the medical personnel that you are working with in regards to your sister's illness.  If the medical personnel advise you to have a  "non-resuscitation" order in place, then please, do that.  Allow the order to make the decision for you concerning your sister's care.  Usually, such orders are for people in a irreversible and catastrophic illness that demands extraordinary means to keep a person alive.  Extraordinary means is considered any medical procedure that goes beyond what is necessary to keep a person alive.  For example, when a person with a catastrophic and fatal illness is being kept alive only by a "machine," it is best to turn off the machine and allow death to come naturally.   The only way you could discern what to do is by speaking with the medical personnel working with your sister.  Also talk to your priest and bring this answer for him to read.  He will be able to talk with you as well.  May the Lord guide you in caring for your sister.  And may the Lord comfort your sister in her illness and bring her to eternal life where she will be free at last, free from illness, free from pain, free from tears, free to be the person that God created her to be!   - CatholicView Staff

”If a person overdoses on drugs be they illegal or
prescription, will they go to Hell?” - Ryan

CatholicView Staff:

If a person overdoses on drugs be they illegal or prescription, will they go to Hell? I have a friend who recently overdosed and I worry about her soul. I can't imagine her in Hell nor want to. Please answer if you can. - Ryan

Dear Ryan:

God wants us to live life happily and with joy united to Him, not in some kind of fog from the misuse of pharmaceuticals.  The use of illegal drugs or even legal drugs for recreational use is considered sinful and those who do so will be held accountable by God in this life and in the next.  I hope that if your friend is still alive, that she gets immediate help for her use of these drugs.  She needs medical attention and spiritual renewal in Jesus Christ.  If your friend died accidentally from the use of medications for some reason, accidents are always understood by God and He knows what is in the person’s heart.   So, it is not our place to judge.  Since God sees and knows all things, He understands what your friend went through.  He will deal with her mercifully and full of love.  Hell is a place for God-haters, those who have chosen to go there by their entire lives.  Heaven is there for those who have loved God in this life and who want to be with their Creator.  Your friend is now in the Hands of God.  God knows what really happened that day when your friend overdosed on drugs.  If she is alive and well, she can change and she will need the help and support of friends to do so.  The overdose was her “wake-up” call to shed the illegal use of drugs.  If she died, she did not die alone but had His Presence there.  Your friend is free at last in Christ Jesus.  – CatholicView Staff

 
”I live with my girlfriend and was told I could not
have communion.  Can I marry her in the Church?” 
- Anthony

CatholicView Staff:

I am currently living with a non Catholic Christian woman (Baptist).   I go to mass every week but was recently told that I could not have my confession heard or receive holy communion at mass.  Is this true?   Am I allowed to marry her in a Catholic Church? - Anthony

Anthony:

Yes, you are ENCOURAGED to marry in the Church.  If there are any impediments to your marriage in the Church, this can be dealt with by the priest in your parish.  Until your marriage is blessed and recognized as a sacramental marriage in the Church, then you cannot participate in the sacramental life of the Church.  So, get on over to your parish priest and get married!  Congratulations on your upcoming Church wedding!  May the Lord fill your both with love never ending! – CatholicView Staff

”My friend tells me he will go to heaven even if he sins. 
Is this true? – Dawn

CatholicView Staff:

I have a friend I have been praying for over a year now.  He claims to be Catholic.He was married in the church and is now divorced.   I, on the other hand, am Southern Baptist and know nothing about the Catholic Church. Other than working with friends who are Catholic helping the poor.  I do not want to offend anyone so I am asking you.  This man tells me he will go to heaven even if he meets women on the Internet and has them leave their homes and children to sleep with him.  He told me he was working with the children in his church that were poor, or weekends at a Catholic Camp.  He also told me he was sick, so I called to ask how he was doing.  His 18-year-old son told me he hasn’t been in a church in a year unless he takes one of the sleep over women to a wedding or a wake.  I was shocked.  I can’t believe this man when he tells me he will see me in heaven.  Have I missed something here?  Please inform me of the truth.  I pray daily for this person and the son he is teaching.  This is ok?  I pray daily for this man, his son, and those women he is using.  Thank you.  God bless you. - Dawn

Dawn:

Faith in Jesus Christ demands that I faithfully follow the commandments of the Lord.  What you describe is a man mired in sin, addicted to sin, and needs to be saved by Jesus Christ.  He can claim to be Catholic and a Christian, but his actions betray that he is not a true believer.  He needs to be saved by Jesus.  He is in denial that he is living in sin and not in Christ Jesus.   You are correct by praying for him and praying that Jesus Christ changes his sinful life.  We both will pray that he truly accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. – CatholicView Staff

 
”If I pray with a penitent heart directly to God,
will He forgive me?” - Amy

CatholicView Staff:

If a Catholic prays directly to God for forgiveness of sins in private, with a truly penitent heart, does God forgive those sins immediately? Or is there no forgiveness until the sacrament of confession with a priest? - Amy

Amy:

God forgives simply by asking, and when asked, forgiveness is immediate.  Forgiveness is the gift of living in the present and not in the past.  Forgiveness also implies reconciliation, the bringing together of broken parts and hearts.  Sometimes, reconciliation cannot be accomplished by ourselves in this life.  So, Jesus Christ promises that such healing reconciliation will happen in heaven where there will be no more tears or sadness, only light and love (see and read in the New Testament,  Revelation 21:4).  The sacrament of Penance (of which confession is a component) is a special gift given to the Church by Jesus Christ.  In the Gospel of John, Chapter 20, Verse 21: Jesus said to them, 'Peace be with you.  As the Father has sent me, so I send you.'  And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit.  Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them and whose sins you retain are retained.."  Jesus Himself gave us the gift of confession.  The purpose of confession is not only for the forgiveness of sin, but for the reconciliation of the sinner to the Church, the body of believers.  When I sin, I not only hurt my relationship with God but I hurt my relationship with others and with the body of believers, the Church.  So, when I sin, I ask forgiveness from God and He gives it instantly and with generosity.  But I must also ask forgiveness of others and the Church so that my healing can be complete and holistic.   Remember that forgiveness and reconciliation go hand-in-hand.    I must heal the broken relationships caused by my sin.  Confession is the way to seek forgiveness from the Church and to be reconciled to the Church.  The priest in confession represents the Church, the body of all believers.  The priest does not represent Jesus as such, though the Church is the body of Christ on earth.   Saint Paul writes that the Church is the body of Christ in the first letter to the Corinthians (I Corinthians, Chapter 12, Verses 26-27):  "If one part suffers, all parts suffer with it.  If one part is honored, all parts share its joy.  Now you are the body of Christ and individually parts of it."  So, if the priest, representing the Church, the body of Christ, forgives you, then you are reconciled to the Church and to Christ Himself.  That is the beautiful gift of confession (the Sacrament of Penance).  The sacrament of Penance reconciles the sinner to the Church and to Christ.   My sin is not just between God and me.  If that were so, no one would be hurt by my actions.  On the contrary, my sin hurts my relationship with God and others around me.  My sinful actions hurt others as well.  That's why I go to confession regularly myself as a priest.  I am painfully aware that my sinful actions, no matter how "small" in my eyes, always hurts someone and myself.  Confession is a way to be held accountable to God and the Church for my actions and to take responsibility for them.  And by taking personal responsibility for my actions and not making pitiable excuses for my sinful actions, I become reconciled to God and Church and I rise from the ashes of my sin to become the person that God wants me to be. – CatholicView Staff

 
”Why did God make people with mental issues?”
- Kelsey
 

CatholicView Staff:

Why did God make people with mental issues? I don't understand this because that can't be explained by man's sin, and it's unfair. Is it God's will to try and treat mental issues with medicine? The neurotransmitters in my brain are messed up and that has caused me much pain in life. Is that part of God's plan? I could do so much more for His people if I weren't ill. - CatholicView Staff

Kelsey:

Some things cannot be explained and I cannot truly explain why you struggle with mental illness.  I do know that mental illness is a burden that is heavy to bear.  Mental illness is the result of many things that is out of our personal control.  Some life events and situations just happen.   There is no explanation.  But God does have a plan for you and He does love you and understands you and knows the burden you carry.  Now, He didn't want you to be sick nor is it part of His plan for you, but He does work with your illness for the greater good.  Your part is to work with what you have.  Instead of being angry with life, be thankful for the blessings you have.  Life is not fair.  I know that to be true.  But instead of focusing on the negative, start paying attention to the good around you.  And be willing to be a support to those who are also carrying and living with the burden of mental illness.  Your positive attitude and your faith in God will enable you to see your part in God's plan for all of us.  Your illness will glorify God and bring you salvation.  Do not despair.  You are loved by God.  I pray for your healing and peace.  – CatholicView Staff 

”I am post-op transsexual M2F.   Is it a
sin to correct a birth defect?” - TinTin

CatholicView Staff:

I am post-op transsexual M2F.   I've always loved the Lord but stopped going to church and continued praying in private after I was traumatized when I was younger.   During confession, the priest told me "your sins will not be forgiven unless you cut your hair" etc.   Father, I sincerely want to go back to receiving the sacraments, mass and all but I'm scared!   Hard to understand I know, but this is who I am since toddler hood/pre-school.  I had the surgery years ago.  Can I receive communion after confession or only if I become male again etc. which I don't think I can do.   God knows I love him and I'm a good person but this one issue.   Father, please enlighten me.  I have been searching but I get contradicting answers like before.  I want to confess again but I'm scared.   Can you please help me, father, get over this hump in going back to the church?   Can I confess on the phone?  Is it a sin to correct a birth defect, what if you are a hermaphrodite?  Thank you! - Tintin

Tintin:

Sexual and gender identity issues are so difficult to understand and accept because most people do not personally have these conflicts.   But there are those who have these gender conflicts (that are beyond one's control) and you were one of them.   The reason why such gender identity issues are hard to deal with for you is because your inner self tells you one thing and your outside physical body tells you another.  There are many reasons why such gender confusion exists but it is complicated to explain in this forum.  Because of original sin and its insidious effects, nature became imbalance and broken.  Such "brokenness" shows itself in many areas of human life experience.  Because of hormonal and genetic structures in certain people, someone may be born physically as one gender (male/female) and have the inner self of the opposite sex.  The medical profession has tried to “fix” this contradiction by making the body correspond to the inner gender identity.   What has happened to you has caused a great deal of emotional, spiritual, and mental pain.  You probably did not have the support structures that were needed when you began to understand the conflict within you.   But you did find the answer for you and I am happy that you can live as the female that you are.  No one can judge you.  No one can say anything to condemn you because very few have “walked in your shoes.”  The Church can only accept that you have taken a course of action that brings you inner peace.   There is no sin to correct a birth defect.  As for you, you seek to be back as an active Catholic.  The first step is to go to confession and speak frankly about your experiences.  After that, you are reconciled with the Church and you can get back to active participation in the sacraments.  It is interesting that the medical profession has asked parents of hermaphrodites (a person born with the sexual organs of both male and female genders) to make a gender choice for the person.  Later, the person can make a choice to have the surgeries necessary to live as either a male or female, or chose to do nothing at all and live in peace with both male and female parts.    Once again, surgery to correct such birth defects are not sinful but should be made with great deliberation and conversation with God.  Come back to the Church!  You are wanted and loved by God and therefore you have your place within the worshiping community of believers in Jesus Christ.  By the way, there is no need to explain your situation to anyone (other than your confessor) unless you want to.  Be who you are and rejoice in God’s many blessings.  As a note to our readers, transsexual/transgender issues are radically different from sexual orientation issues such as heterosexuality (opposite sex attraction) and homosexuality (same-sex attraction).   May I suggest that you bring your letter and our answer to confession with you as a way to get the conversation started.  The priest can read both letter and answer and that should be a great way to begin your discussion about your spiritual life in Jesus.   In response to one of your questions, can a person "confess" over the phone, the answer is no.  The sacrament of Penance (confession) must always be celebrated in person.  But do not be afraid.  God is with you.  God knows what you have gone through and He loves you unconditionally.  – CatholicView Staff

”Should I bring my Catholic 7 year old son to a viewing
of a deceased family member?” - Linda

CatholicView Staff:

Should I bring my 7 year old son, who is Catholic, to a viewing of a deceased family member, or is that too young? - Linda

Linda:

There is nothing wrong or inappropriate to bringing your seven year old son to a viewing of a deceased family member.  Death is part of the human life cycle and is not to be denied or hidden.  Death is a reality that must be dealt with as soon as possible.  Your son is seven years old and understands and sees all things and has many questions.  It is time to talk about death and our Christian faith in the risen Lord Jesus.  It is time to talk about the true meaning of Easter.  It is time to talk about heaven and talk about not being fearful about such things.  I remember when I first went to a deceased family member service.   I was about 5 years old and a cousin died from an automobile accident.  My parents had to explain why I wouldn't see my cousin again.  They explained death as best as they could to a five year old.  It also helped that I already had an experience with understanding death when my pet goldfish died when I was younger.   So, when I went to the funeral service and viewing of the body, I was prepared and it did not affect me negatively.  I was sad because I would not see my cousin again, but I was secure in knowing that Jesus had my cousin in his arms.  So, bringing your seven year old son to a "wake service" demands preparation and I am sure that you can do that well.  Ask the Lord to guide you, talk with your son, and attend the services.  Sadly, he will experience the deaths of others in his life and how you prepare him now will determine how he reacts later in life. 

”What evidence do you have for the existence of
your particular God” - Andres

CatholicView Staff:

What evidence do you have for the existence of your particular God (as opposed to the thousands of other gods)? - Andres

Andres:

Faith is not provable as such.  As a person cannot prove or even scientifically show evidence that human love is real, so faith in God cannot be scientifically quantified.  Faith is the human act of accepting the unknown and being changed by it.  As Christians, though, the evidence that you speak of is in this historical fact that cannot be denied:  Jesus Christ died on Good Friday, April, 30 AD, and rose from the dead three days later on what we call Easter.  No other main religious leader can claim that nor has any major "religion founder" has dared to claim resurrection.  Jesus rose from the dead and that is the evidence that makes me believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior of the universe.  As Christians, we believe in only one God, one Power, one Creator that is beyond our human understanding.  There are no other gods, no minor or major gods, no other mystical powers, only one God, one Intelligence, one Life.  The universe has an energy, harmony, and life that we call God.  It is interesting that physics and science is trying to discover and find the elusive one theory of everything.  Christians and other monotheistic religions see that the theory of everything in God Itself.  The concept of one God explains everything.  - CatholicView Staff

”I am afraid to confess my sin.  What do I say?” - Delia
 

CatholicView Staff:

I am a 59-year-old divorced woman. I am a very devout Catholic, Eucharistic Minister, Lector, etc. Occasionally (about once or twice a year) I feel the need to gratify myself sexually (it seems to relieve stress). Is this a sin? I'm embarrassed to confess it. What do I say?

Dear Delia:

Please refer to the following article:

http://www.catholicvu.com/newpage197htm.htm

Pray honestly to God and ask Him to forgive you in private.   Please, in order to re-instate and reconcile yourself to the church, your church family, and to entitle you to all the church sacraments, I would strongly suggest that you go to the Sacrament of Confession at another parish where you will feel more comfortable.  God will give you the words as to what you will say.  May the Lord give you the strength to move forward in your faith.  God bless you.   - CatholicView Staff

”Should I tell my best friend's husband that she
had an affair?” - Catherine 
 

CatholicView Staff:

My best friend and her husband got married in the Catholic Church. She recently started having an affair with another man behind her husband's back. Now she is pregnant and there is a possibility that the child is not her husband's child. Besides confession, is she obligated to tell her husband about her affair? Regardless of the pregnancy, would she be obligated to confess her grievous sin to her husband? What are my obligations as her best friend? Should I as a Catholic tell her husband if she refuses? - Catherine

Dear Catherine:

Thank you for writing to CatholicView.  I am sorry that your friend is in such turmoil.  CatholicView can understand that your need to do the right thing by your friend, however, such a revelation to the husband will not endear you to either your best friend or her husband.  I would suggest that you talk honestly to your friend rather than being the one who could potentially destroy her marriage.  Give her your views.  She has confided in you before and trusts you, so try to stress the urgency that she must be honest with her husband and pray that he will forgive her for her adulterous acts and the possible outcome of them.  She has broken the bonds of her marriage and this must be mended.  To live an ongoing guilty life is going to destroy your friend’s peace of mind and possibly her marriage.   If you can, have her go to a priest (it does not matter where) and talk forthright and honestly about this situation.  She must ask for advice on how to approach this major problem.   This is a time where truth must overcome fear for it not only involves her and her husband, it will affect the young life she is bringing into the world, and possibly the man with whom she had the affair.

As a good friend, you want to help them, but it is not your place to do so, and in the coming months it could destroy your friendship at a time when she will need you to support and comfort her.   Instead pray strongly about your friend’s marriage, asking the Lord to give you wisdom and insight.  The main thing is that you will be there for her, no matter the outcome, but she must seek help from a priest who can suggest a plan of action and/or talk to both your friend and her husband.  Continue to pray for her.  God bless you. – CatholicView Staff 


”I love the Lord but I worry.  What should I do?”
- Frank

CatholicView Staff:

 I hope this does not bother you but I grew up Catholic but I do not follow the Catholic faith.  I’m more Presbyterian.  I just do not believe in the birth control thing.   But yes, I believe in Jesus.  Can I ask you why if I believe and pray and try to live a good clean life do I still feel as if I’m still not doing good enough?  I ask Jesus to send me a sign.  That if there is anything He wants me to do that I would do.  Yet I still don't see anything change.  I know my heart is good.  I worry about everyone. I wish no harm on anyone except maybe Bin Laden.  I pray to God to help me live a good life.  What am I doing wrong?  Why am I still afraid of dying?  Jesus said "I am the light and the way".  Well, I believe that.  People say if you accept Jesus in your heart as your Lord and Savior and repent then you will be saved.   I truly believe that God loved man so much that He knew we all sinned.  And the only way to clear that path to Him was through Jesus.  Think about the kind of love God has for us.  He allowed His only Son to die for us. He allowed Him to be mocked and spit on.   I can imagine Him watching this when it took place. And with one mighty swat He could have stopped it. But He did not.  But yet I worry.  Why do I worry?  Do you have any suggestions that can help me to stop worrying so I can live a normal life and enjoy my little time on earth? – Frank

Dear Frank:

Thank you for writing to us.  You are certainly right in all that you say about our Savior Jesus Christ. You sound like a true believer.  I think it is time for you to accept all the things God has promised to you.   You must not be afraid for God is right there with you through all things of this life.  He is the one Who wakes you each morning and He is the one Who breathes life into you.   He will not leave you stranded.  But to worry means that you are not using your faith, you are not strengthening that faith but tearing it down with doubts.  We are all afraid of the things that beset us, but the difference is that we have Jesus and our heavenly Father, Almighty God.   Jesus tells us in Mathew 28:20 “.. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

And so, do not be afraid, Matthew.  Do not worry.   You, like all of us, are just passing through this imperfect time.  Pray daily, continue to read your bible.  God knows your heart and He will not leave your stranded.  He will encourage and strengthen your faith, if you let Him.  He loves you.  Be an example to all people.  Continue to show your love to your fellowmen.    I will pray for you. – CatholicView Staff

”I want to return to the Church.  Can this be done? - Jim

Jim:

Yes, you can return to the Catholic Church.  There will be information that must be given to your parish priest concerning your non-Catholic marriage and divorce.  And he will want to talk to you about issues to determine your wife’s status on birth control as well as possibly having your marriage validated in the church.  This can be done without fanfare if you desire it.

Please talk to your parish priest.  He will be able to straighten everything out for you to return.  Welcome back!  God bless you. – CatholicView Staff

”I indulge in the mortal sin of lust.  Is there hope for me?”
- John

CatholicView Staff:


Dear Father, I am 55 years old and have been choosing to repeat the same old sin over and over and over again.  I go to confession, try to stay on track, but always keep falling in the same old trap.  I hate the sin, especially when I fall into it AGAIN.  I know now that I must have allowed myself to have become a slave to this sin, which by the way came to me at the age of 5, but feel as if there is no hope for me as a Christian because of having partaking in it for so long.  It is the mortal sin of Lust.  Is there hope for me?  John

Dear John:

There is always hope for all of us.  Have you talked honestly with your priest about this issue?  Perhaps he can suggest the professional help that you seem to need. 

Try praying each time such thoughts enter your head. When temptation comes, offer a prayer asking God for His deliverance.  With His help, and with time,  you will find that you will resist more and more as you move closer to the Lord.  I strongly suggest you sit down in person and talk to your priest.  Do not be afraid or ashamed; he is there to help you.  I will pray for you.  – CatholicView Staff 

”I am drawn towards ob-gyn.  How can I refuse to
distribute birth control?”  - Sarah

 
CatholicView Staff:

As a medical student, I find myself drawn to ob-gyn. How can I retain my Catholic values while going into this controversial field? I fear that being "preachy" or refusing to distribute birth control will deter women from seeking valuable care.- Sarah

Dear Sarah:

We have a very good search engine at CatholicView.  You will find it located on the opening page ( catholicview.org ) and listed near the bottom of the listing to the right.  Type in “birth control” in the window and you will get several answers that might contain the information you seek.  For your convenience, I am including one of the answers found there on this subject written by Father Matthew Kowalski to one of our visitors:

Dear Father Matthew: 

I am a third-year medical student, and I plan to go into obstetrics and gynecology.  One of the main issues that obgyns face is that of birth control -- many of my patients are going to want to take birth control pills, have tubal ligations, use intrauterine devices, and other means of preventing pregnancies.  It would almost be preposterous for a practicing ob-gyn to deny these things to his group of patients, most of whom will probably NOT be Catholic.  But as I am a practicing Catholic, I don't believe in artificial birth control.  Would it be wrong of me to prescribe birth control to my non-Catholic patients?  I can't see having a successful practice without offering this therapy -- it is so commonplace.   Thanks for your time.  - Miriam

Miriam:

Not being a doctor or medical student, I cannot judge your chances for "having a successful practice without offering this therapy".  But I suspect there are a fair number of doctors, even in ob/gyn, who do not offer artificial birth control and still manage to make out a not-so-poor living.  I suggest you do a web search on "natural family planning" or contact the Couple-to-couple league.  I am sure they can put you in touch with Catholic doctors who like you, don't believe in artificial birth control. They could tell you more about your chances for success.

I can only tell you the ethical side of things.  If someone starts living not in accord with their beliefs, either their life or their beliefs will eventually change. I could possibly imagine a doctor who prescribes medications he is morally opposed to using, and who states his beliefs to the patients before prescribing them. Or a doctor who teaches about both natural and artificial means, then leaves the choice up to the patient. But I cannot imagine a doctor in good conscience who would simply remain silent about strongly held moral beliefs. I know there are many doctors that do not approve of artificial contraception, (and not only Catholics!) and they can tell you much more than I can how they deal with this issue. I would trust their judgment. I urge you to search some out!  God Bless, Fr. Matthew

Hope this helps. – CatholicView Staff

”I was Catholic but began to practice Witchcraft. 
How can I return to the Church? - Amy

 

CatholicView Staff:

What advice would you give to a former Catholic who began to practice witchcraft but now wants to return to the Church?  There is a lot more to consider here besides going to confession, how does one dispose of any occult supplies they accumulated for spell casting, etc.?  It is really a complete change of life.  Some guidance please?

Dear Amy:

I praise God for your deliverance from witchcraft.  God is well pleased with you.  You already know that you must seek the sacrament of repentance that will reunite you with the Church family, and the use of all Sacraments.  In the meantime, pray hard, asking God to strengthen your resolve and keep your focus on Jesus Christ.

As to the occult supplies, you do not want to encourage anyone to follow this practice by making them available to others.  You must either burn them or bury them.  God will help you to do this by giving you courage and fortitude.  Do not be afraid. 

We welcome you back to the Church of the living God Who will never desert or leave you stranded.   I am praying for you. – CatholicView Staff

”My fiance and I were not brought up in a church. 
We have two children.  Can we get married
in a Church?” -Ashley

Catholic Staff

My fiance and I have two children together, and neither one of us were brought up in a church.   We wish to get married and bring our children up in a church.  Who can we talk to and is it unlikely that a church will marry us?  Ashley

Ashley:

This is a very simple matter that can be taken care of immediately.  The Catholic Church will welcome you and your husband and be delighted to have your children be members also.  This is what a Church does.    Talk to a parish priest in your area.  He will be able to get you started as members of the Catholic Church.   You will probably be asked to take some RCIA lessons (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) to get you started.  The priest will also arrange a private or public marriage for you.

We look forward to having you as part of our Church family.  God bless you always.  Welcome!  Let’s get started!  – CatholicView Staff

”My husband and I got a civil divorce and he remarried
civilly.  Can we still be intimate?” – Janice

CatholicView:

My husband and I have a civil divorce after a 30 year marriage with children.  We are still considered married even though he civilly married someone else.  Since he is still my husband and his other marriage is adulterous, can he have marital relations with me because I am still considered his wife? Would it be a sin if we are still considered married in the eyes of God? – Janice

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