JUNE 2009



FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
FATHER AMARO SAUMELL
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF



FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL



“How can I protect my five young children from the outward
practice of my sister’s homosexuality?” Shawna

Father Bill:

We have five young children that we wish to protect from the outward practice of my sister's homosexuality.  We have asked that she come to our home alone and we will not attend family functions that she is at with her partner, but have never said anything negative to our children about her. We are trying to love the sinner without condoning the sin.  My parents think we are being bigots and unchristian-like.  I haven't spoken to my father in months, and this is a cause of great stress for me.  We really feel the need to protect the innocence of our children, and until my father's objection, my sister was all right with our request.  Now that my father has vocalized his disagreement with our decision, the relationship is strained between my sister and I as well.  I am unsure how to move forward, as I don't feel we should subject our children to such behavior, but I always wonder, maybe my father is right? - Shawna

Dear Shawna,

Dilemmas like yours sure are difficult, aren’t they? I certainly don’t envy parents as they struggle to raise children in the complex moral environment of today’s world. I admire your concern for your children, and I admire your willingness to examine more closely this question that affects your whole family.

My answer is going to be somewhat reflective. I’ll be drawing on some of my perceptions about children and some of my experiences with gay people and their relationships.

It seems to me that when children are very young (say between toddler stage and age 8 or 9), they are quite oblivious to the nature of adult relationships. While they understand and are curious about gender and some simple gender-related concepts, matters of sexual intimacy, whether heterosexual or homosexual, are generally beyond their horizon. They may notice that Suzy and Mary (or Bruce and Trevor) are always together, but they are neither influenced nor scandalized by that. In other words, in these younger stages of children’s lives, parents aren’t really protecting them from anything, because the children are not comprehending anything unusual.

From my experience, it is around the fifth grade year—right around age 10—that children begin to understand some of the basic facts of sexual issues. Their understanding is still very incomplete, and it is strongly influenced by what they hear in school and see on TV. I’ve noticed that they use the word “gay”, for example, for almost anything that they feel uneasy about or as kind of a general put-down. “Gay” becomes a synonym for “weird”. They know it has something to do with same-sex attraction; they know that many in society consider this bad or odd, but they still don’t grasp what it means in terms of intimacy or sexual expression. In other words, by this age, parents can’t really protect their children from knowledge about homosexuality, because children are already becoming aware that there is such a thing, even if their awareness is very incomplete.

So what am I saying here? I think it’s more important to prepare children—in age-appropriate ways, of course—for understanding the Church’s teachings about homosexuality than it is to protect them from people who are involved in same-sex relationships. I’m also saying that I don’t think that your sister and her partner are a danger to your children. The greater danger may be that your children grow into young adulthood and resent the fact that you excluded their aunt—and maybe their grandfather—from their lives.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not approving of your sister’s same-sex relationship. Then again, neither do I approve of divorced Catholics remarrying without an annulment. I don’t approve of couples living together before marriage. I don’t approve of loveless marriages. Each of these relationships sadly gives evidence of the presence of sin. Yet none of them is without hope, nor should any of them give us permission to judge hatefully or harshly the people involved. In our weakness, we all need the grace of God.

Over the years I’ve met quite a few gay men and women. Some of them are involved in same-sex relationships. I’ve found that most of them are very good and decent people, except for the flaw of whom they love. Some of them are feisty and in-your-face about their homosexuality, but most of them just quietly live their lives pretty much like the vast majority of heterosexuals do.

Unfortunately, Jesus didn’t give us a lot of information about how to deal with homosexuality. In fact, he seemed a lot more concerned about sins of injustice and religious hypocrisy than he did with sins of the flesh. St. Paul was a bit more explicit about such matters, and it’s true that there may be times when excluding sinners from our midst is the appropriate response. Would this be true in the case of your sister and her partner? I guess only you can answer that.

Let me conclude with this: Do you love your sister? Do you want your children to love her? Finally, how much of your family relationships are you willing to sacrifice in order to protect your children from something from which they ultimately cannot be protected? They will grow up; all children do. They will lose their innocence; we all did. – Father Bill

“My Mormon neighbors keep asking my daughter over
for prayer. Should I allow this?” - Jill

Father Bill:

Our Mormon neighbors were very persistent in asking our 9-year-old daughter over for prayer. We politely declined each time.  Since then, they have had family prayer twice that I am aware of while my daughter was there.   Once, the elders were there and told stories to the kids. The girls have been wanting a sleep over and I finally agreed.   Their  children aren't allowed to sleep over here.  They are such a nice family, the girls are very sweet, polite, but I don't want my daughter influenced at such a young impressionable age.  She has noticed (or has been told) how they do a lot of things together as a family, and she is invited to go for evening walks with them and play ball etc.  Our neighbors have not brought up their faith with us at all. But they seem to be working on our daughter.   Please advise me how to handle this, I appreciate any advice you can give us.  Thank you.   – Jill

Dear Jill,

It appears that you have some really nice neighbors. What a blessing that is! Most of the Mormons I’ve known over the years (and the truth is that I haven’t known all that many) are very nice people. I’m not a great fan of their proselytizing, but I admire the courage and dedication with which their young people undertake their mission. I often wish that our Catholic young people were as fervent and committed as the Mormon youth.

What you describe seems like a situation that is just ripe for some great neighborly sharing. Of course, I realize that some families are more private than others, and that’s o.k. I realize, too, that what sometimes seems like a good opportunity for sharing can proceed beyond the comfort level and that this needs to be watched carefully. As we all know, there are certain rules and protocols that are generally understood and tacitly accepted between good neighbors. Such understandings preserve appropriate boundaries and facilitate good, healthy friendships. Neighbors who are pushy or who don’t respect boundaries would need to be confronted.

Since we can all learn a lot from people of other religious traditions, my advice to you is pretty simple: make sure that you are praying as a family. Make sure that you are doing things together as a family. Invite your neighbor’s children to join you in prayer and for other family activities to the extent that you are able. Finally, make sure that your neighbors know that you will not be trying to convert their children and that you will expect the same from them. If all this is workable and mutually agreed upon by all concerned, I think your daughter will have wonderful friends and you will have wonderful neighbors. – Father Bill

 


”My priest says all  religions are equal.  Is he right? -  David

Father Bill:

Our priest says that Islam is a good religion and that all religions are equal...Christianity is nothing special. I now won't go to Church or take Communion from him because all his sacramental actions are invalid. Am I wrong? – David

Dear David:

There are really two major points to your question. You are wrong about one of them, and the other needs some delving into.

No matter what your priest may say about other religions, his sacramental actions are still valid. There is no relationship between a priest’s personal opinions or moral conduct and the validity of his sacramental actions. If you choose not to receive Communion from him, that’s your choice, but his Masses are valid. If you don’t agree with his opinions, you’re certainly free to join another parish should you wish to do so.

As to the more difficult part of your question, it boils down to this: Are all religions equal?

I sure don’t think so, and obviously you don’t either. I believe that Christianity is something special, and obviously you do too. In agreeing that Christianity is something special, we are not denying that many other religions also honor God and help lead their adherents to holiness.

As Christians, we believe that there is but one God. Muslims believe in the same God that we do. So do Jews.   Buddhists and Hindi and other major religions are significantly different from the three great monotheistic religions, but they still have insights into human relationships and our relationship to the world and the Creator that can be truly inspiring.

Christian belief differs from the two other great monotheistic religions in some important ways. We believe that the one God has revealed himself as a Trinity of love: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, one God, three divine Persons. We believe that the Second Person of this Blessed Trinity, the Son, took on our human nature, becoming one of us so that by Jesus’ obedience to the will of God humanity might be saved from the fundamental (or original) sin of disobedience to God’s will. We believe that upon his return to the Father, Jesus did not abandon us. He established a Church that, through the power and inspiration of the Holy Spirit, would guide humanity on the way of truth and the path to ultimate unity with God.

As Catholics, we believe that the Church, which Jesus established, subsists in its wholeness in the Catholic Church. This doesn’t mean that that Catholic Church is perfect, but it does mean that what the Church teaches officially as true is indeed the truth. It also implies that there is a good measure of truth in other Christian churches.

I think it’s safe to say that God is bigger than any one religion, and there is probably a lot of truth in the John Godfrey Saxe poem about the blind men and the elephant (Google that). All the more reason, I think, for why God gave us the gift of the Catholic Church.  He wants us to know Him and the truths that will lead us to Him. That is the fundamental mission of the Church, and that’s why all religions are not equal, even though most contain much that is true and good. – Father Bill

FATHER AMARO SAUMELL



“I have a fear of contamination as a result of anxiety
disorder.  Is doing laundry on Sunday a mortal sin?” Cecile

Dear Father Amaro: 

I have an anxiety disorder.   Part of this disorder is fear of contamination.  Is doing laundry on Sunday a mortal sin?  If the task was not completed on the day before and on Sunday I had to finish it because of my fear?   Should I go to confession Father?   Have I committed a mortal sin?  Thank you and God bless you.   Thank you for being here.  – Cecile

Dear Cecile:

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering from an anxiety disorder that involves a fear of contamination.

One of the things that I remind my parishioners every Sunday after mass is that this day is a day of rest.   It should be used to solidify the smallest, but not least significant form of church called the family. I myself make sure that I have everything done by Saturday night so I do not fall into that trap. (I was actually caught by one of my parishioners years ago and it has stuck with me.)

If you have a psychiatric or psychological disorder, it means that your will could be impeded and that you are not responsible for your actions and are doing everything medically, psychologically, morally, and spiritually to honor Sunday as a day of rest.   If you are sincerely unable to control your fears of contamination on this Holy Day, our loving God understands this and it is not a mortal sin.   The fact that you want to do the right thing shows that you are truly concerned.  Just make sure that you try to do the very best you can and give God the honor He deserves.   God bless, Father Amaro

“My husband’s ex-wife has mental issues and so we cannot
get an annulment.  What options do I have?” - Becky

Father Amaro:

My husband is 67 years old and I am 56.  We have been very happily married for 4 years.  He and his ex are not Catholic and were not married in the Catholic Church.  I am Catholic and am free to remarry.  He graciously agreed to go through the process of seeking an annulment.  His ex has psychiatric problems and her psychologist stated it would be a mistake to have her involvement in this and now 4 yrs after the process began we are no closer to getting the annulment.  Since I am the Catholic, what options do I have? – Becky  

Dear Becky:

If as a Catholic, you were married civilly, you are not married.   A civil arrangement is not recognized as a sacrament of the Church.   It is invalid and the Catholic Church does not honor this union  The Church considers this an adulterous relationship. Until you get these matters straightened out, you cannot enjoy the Sacraments of the Church. 

Having said the above, it could be that your husband’s first marriage was never valid either, possibly because of this mental illness and the incapacity for his wife to form a sacramental bond.  If the first wife has psychiatric problems, this would be a medical condition or a psychological disorder and if your husband can present proof that his ex-wife is indeed psychologically incompetent, I would see no danger in proceeding with the annulment.   Should he cannot present proof that a pre-existing condition was present before the marriage, the bonds of that marriage cannot be proclaimed. Other grounds must be sought and annulment proceedings may not guarantee an annulment. Your parish priest can guide your husband through questions and documents that are needed and how to proceed.

Once you see your parish priest, he will ask for all information that is needed and then work everything out with the Canon Lawyer.  At that time he will also determine where you stand in regards to the Church Sacraments.  God bless you and grant you the courage to move forward and make things right with God and Church.  Hope this helps.   Father Amaro.

“Why am I in grave sin for being a Mason?” - Peter

Father Amaro:

I attend church regularly, love God, love my family and friends, and do a significant amount of charity work dedicated to the betterment of children. I am also home teaching my children and niece CCD this summer. I am also a Mason. Why am I in a grave state of sin? – Peter

Dear Peter,

You are to be commended for your love of God, your faithful church attendance each Sunday, and the charity work that Christ has asked us all to do for others.   However the Catholic Church does state that being a Mason is a grave sin.

To answer your question, I think the best way to clarify this is to actually post the document concerning being a Mason.  This will explain what the Church teaches on this important and serious matter.  

Declaration on Masonic Associations (Quaesitum est)

English Translation of a Latin Document from the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith November 26, 1983.  It has been asked whether there has been any change in the Church's decision in regard to Masonic associations since the new Code of Canon Law does not mention them expressly, unlike the previous code.  This sacred congregation is in a position to reply that this circumstance is due to an editorial criterion which was followed also in the case of other associations likewise unmentioned inasmuch as they are contained in wider categories.

Therefore, the Church's negative judgment in regard to Masonic associations remains unchanged since their principles have always been considered irreconcilable with the doctrine of the Church and, therefore, membership in them remains forbidden. The faithful, who enroll in Masonic associations are in a state of grave sin and may not receive Holy Communion.

It is not within the competence of local ecclesiastical authorities to give a judgment on the nature of Masonic associations which would imply a derogation from what has been decided above, and this in line with the declaration of this sacred congregation issued Feb. 17,1981. [1]

In an audience granted to the undersigned cardinal prefect, the Supreme Pontiff John Paul II approved and ordered the publication of this declaration, which had been decided in an ordinary meeting of this sacred congregation.

Rome, from the Office of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Nov. 26, 1983
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Prefect
Father Jerome Hamer, O.P. Titular Archbishop of Lorium, Secretary
1. Cf. AAS 73 (1981) pp. 240-241.

There you have it.  God bless you, Father Amaro

“Did God forsake Jesus at the cross?” - Benedict

Dear Father Amaro:

I would like to ask if God forsook Jesus when He lay dying on the Cross. When Jesus cried out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?", was it because he was really forsaken, or was it because his human nature led him to think that God had forsaken him? I don't think God would forsake his only son!

A friend of mine said:  God did forsake Jesus on the cross as He (Jesus) was full of our sins, that's why there was darkness for 3 hours.  Is this true?  Thank you for your time! – Benedict

Dear Benedict,

If your child needed surgery and you had to walk away so that the surgeon could do his job, the child in you might cry out, "Why have you forsaken me." Yet, you would still walk away for his or her own good. You would "forsake" so that the proper reparation of surgery could be accomplished. It would just about tear your heart out to do it, as it must have for God, to see His only Son suffering the pangs of death and degradation.  Yet the reparation, repair, and redemption would be bringing your child to full health as it was when Jesus, in His moment of humanity, cried out to the Father “Why have You forsaken me?” yet knowing and willingly bringing the gift of salvation to us by dying.   And so it was with God, the Father, Who sacrificed His only Son for us and “walked away” in order for reparation and repair for our souls.

Jesus, when He came to earth, took on a human nature because he had a vital mission to accomplish.  In His supreme love for us, He made a way for us to share in His eternity.  It was the power of His Divinity that brought redemption through his human nature to rise again in victory over sin, thus bringing salvation to all who accept it.  In human terms, God, Who loves us, sent His Son to die for us, and had to "forsake" the human Jesus so that the fullness of the resurrection could redeem our sins.   With those words, “Why have You forsaken Me?”, Jesus, in His earthly form, reached out in that moment of humanity for His Father to help Him. 

Remember the story of Adam and Eve?  They committed the "original sin".  From them, we inherited our sinful nature.  Because God does not allow sin in His perfect heaven, He sent His only Son to redeem our sins.  Jesus' earthly sacrifice became a victory of eternity for us.  God, through His unending love for us all, allowed His Son to pay in full for our sin.  Whoever believes, will receive eternal life and the price for the remittance of sin has been paid.  We can grasp our human nature in Christ and find eventual and eternal healing. - God bless, Father Amaro

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

“My pastor supports same sex marriage, women priests, says
abortion is upsetting to discuss, and uses “Mother”
instead of God.  Should I stay at this Church? - Amy

Dear CatholicView Staff:

I am struggling with whether to remain at my parish church. The pastor disbanded the respect life committee because abortion is too upsetting for people to hear about, he said we could pray the Our Father using "Mother" instead because it means the same thing, he said the Catholic church would be evil without compassion. He has added his own words to the liturgy and during the consecration. He supports women priests and same sex marriage. Is it my duty to stay and pray for him or find another church? I worry about what my children are learning from him, and I feel that his views are not in line with Church teachings. Please help us. My family and I feel alone and lost. Many parishioners have left, but we are not sure what to do.  Sincerely, Amy

Dear Amy:

I am so sorry that you are facing such turmoil in your parish church.   Your pastor’s views are contrary to the teachings of the Catholic Church and most of all contrary to what God wants us to follow.  Sadly I must suggest you find another church to attend.  Church should be a place where there is peace and truth.  It is our spiritual base.  No priest has the right to change what God has given to us all.

I suggest you write a letter to your archdiocese and explain exactly what is happening, or if you can, call and speak to the Vicar of Clergy who is in charge of the priests in your area.  Outline everything before you call.  State simply the actions and teachings of this priest to the Vicar.  If you can, have other parishioners write in or call also. 

Please do not allow your children to be taught by this priest.  And yes, do pray for him but do not subject yourself or your children to his irrational teachings.  Find another church where you will feel free to worship God as He intended.  But the Archdiocese should be notified.   

May the Lord give you the courage to find a new church base.  May He bless you with His almighty strength.  – CatholicView Staff

“I still feel shame and grief even though I confessed my
sins.  Is this normal? - Andrea

CatholicView Staff:

When I was a young woman, I committed sexual sins. I repented and confessed those sins, but some of the bad effects and pain have remained. It's been many years, but I haven't completely gotten over the shame and grief. I find it difficult to open up and trust others. Is this normal and to be expected? - Andrea

Dear Andrea:

I am sorry to hear that even though you have confessed your sin you still feel a sense of shame, remorse and pain.  But yes, it is normal for some people to feel this way, for although you have been forgiven, you might feel the weight of your past actions.  You must let these old sins act as “teachers” in your life instead of allowing them to imprison you forever. Remember, Satan does not like that you are freed from your sins, and will keep you in bondage so that you become weakened, feel undeserving, and worthless.  God does not want that for you. 

Keep praying to God, asking Him to give you peace in your mind and in your soul.  Ask Him to remove the shame and the remorse and give you the strength to accept His gift of forgiveness.   When God forgives a truly repentant person, it is complete and forgotten forever.  Any vestiges of sin should be a reminder to avoid future sin.  Let your feelings act as a “stop sign” to make you watchful..  Recognize this and continue to pray, always keeping in mind that you have put your sins at the foot of the cross and Jesus Christ has paid for those sins with His blood and cleansed them forever.  His sacrifice has set you free.  You are no longer in the chains of sin but stand brand new.  Receive his mercy and let His gift of forgiveness wash away the shame, the hurt, and the remorse from your memory.  Appreciate the goodness and love Christ has for you. Do not reject His forgiveness by tormenting yourself with guilt and shame.  Show that you accept by forgiving yourself, moving forward in His service.  May the Lord continue to bless you and give you His peace.  – CatholicView Staff

“My family constantly asks me for money.  Am I in
the wrong by refusing to give?” - Denise

CatholicView

I love my family dearly but, they are always asking for money and taking advantage of my good nature. I don't mind helping but, they are becoming more demanding and more frequent in their neediness due to poor financial habits/planning. By refusing to help(except in emergencies) am I in the wrong?

Dear Denise:                

To genuinely help your family when they are in dire straits is a wonderful Christian attribute.    If a family member becomes dependent on you to give them money, you might be enabling them to continue to ask without learning to stand on their own two feet.    If, as you state, they are seriously in dire straits with a family to feed then you must help as much as you are able to.  But if you suspect that they are using you because you are generous and kind, then you may have to make the decision to offer less and less, and finally stop.  Or if you can, you can simply stop giving money that you may need for yourself.   If you continue to indulge them, you are not allowing your family members to grow and learn and be self-reliant.

Each of us must try to be responsible for ourselves.  To continue to depend on your generosity over a period of time is wrong.  To stop giving handouts because you are kind will make them respect you.  Make sure their plea is a valid one.  If it is, you have the obligation to help as much as you can.  In either case, your generosity will not go unnoticed by God and you will be blessed greatly for your kindness .  – CatholicView Staff  

“I am getting a divorce but I am dating a close friend.  She is getting
an annulment.  I may need one.  Can we receive communion and can
we go public?” - Angelo

CatholicView Staff:

In the interest of space I will be factual. I am 50 years old. I have been married since 1996. I was not married in the Church. I received no pre-marital classes. My marriage was a struggle from the very start and should never have happened. In 2001 my marriage was "blessed" not convalidated. No record exists of the "blessing".  In November 2008 I filed for divorce. My wife has never been attracted to me sexually, emotionally or spiritually. She stopped sleeping with me in 2000. We have one daughter age 8. I have a close friend in the exact same circumstance except she was married in the Church. We are very much in love and want to marry and have more children. We share a deep spiritual love. We are deeply religious and our Catholic Faith is a big part of our relationship. She needs n annulment and I may need one, possibly a lack of form.  Our divorces were filed at the same time and should be finalized shortly.  May we receive the Sacraments?   Can we have a relationship?  What does the Church allow?  Can we be public?

Dear Angelo:

I am so sorry to learn of your unhappiness in your marriage as well as the unhappiness of your close friend.  The Church thinks of you and your lady friend as still married to your respective partners because you have not yet received your civil divorce and neither of you have received annulments from the Church. 

You cannot receive the Sacraments until you have had your marriages dissolved.  And until this happens, you cannot go public with your relationship because neither of you is free to do so.   You both are still married to other people.

Keep in mind, civil divorce does not end a marriage in the eyes of God or of the Church.  Secular governments do not have any authority to dissolve valid marriages.  Catholics couples that are divorcing but have not yet remarried should consult their confessors or a parish priest as to whether they may receive Holy Communion. In certain circumstances they may be allowed to do so.

Please see your parish priest about exactly what is permitted by the church in your case. – CatholicView Staff

“My Catholic friend is divorced  with no annulment.  Is there a process
for our union to be blessed by the Church?” - James

CatholicView Staff:

My fiancé is Catholic and divorced.  She has 2 children from her previous marriage.  I was raised Baptist and am active in my faith.  She has not received an annulment from the Church for her previous marriage and we are to be married in January (non Catholic service).  Is there a process by which our union may be blessed by the Church? What are the terms of annulment? - James

James:

Thank you for your question.  An annulment is a canonical procedure  where an ecclesial tribunal judge determines whether the bond of matrimony in a particular case was entered into validity.  This your parish priest will determine.  The Church examines in detail a marriage to determine if, right from the start, some essential element was missing in their relationship. If that fact has been established, it means the spouses did not have the kind of marital link that binds them together for life and it becomes a determination that the marriage never existed.

Once your fiancé has received her annulment, which usually takes about a year to receive, and you yourself have no prior marriages or impediments, you both can be married in the Catholic Church after speaking to her parish priest about what has to be done to facilitate this marriage.  

 CatholicView wishes you much happiness in the future.   -   CatholicView Staff

“I believe my friend made a mistake when she went to a
psychic.  How do I convince her it is wrong?”  - James

CatholicView Staff:

A friend of mine went to a "psychic" the other day to ask about her marriage, and I believe she made a mistake.   How do I convince her not to take the "black magic" readers advice? - James

James:

Many people, especially in situations that are uncomfortable or painful would like to know what lies ahead for them.  What your friend may fail to see is that going to psychics, using tarot cards, fortunetellers, witchcraft, Ouija boards, palm readers, etc. are tools of evil.  As Catholic Christians, it is considered sinful to try to foresee the future or to try to control our lives by using sorcery, witchcraft, or black magic because it violates the first commandment “"I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have any gods before me".  Going to a psychic is wrong and God forbids it.

The bible tells us in Leviticus20: 27"A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortune-teller shall be put to death by stoning: they have no one but themselves to blame for their death".

Read Deuteronomy 18:47: “The nations you are about to displace consult sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but the Lord your God forbids you to do such things.” Then again, In Jeremiah 27:9,“Do not listen to your false prophets, fortune-tellers, interpreters of dreams, mediums, and sorcerers.

We must avoid the things that are forbidden to us as Christian Catholics and let the Lord, our God take care of all things concerning the future, for only He knows what lies ahead.  To visit psychics, use Tarot Cards or any other means or sources such as fortune telling is very sinful. This is an abomination to God and I would advise your friend to keep away from such practices.

God bless you in your search for truth for your friend. – CatholicView Staff

“My friends in college challenge my belief.    How
do I handle this?” - Mike

CatholicView Staff:

I am a college student going into my senior year, and have grown up in a very committed Catholic family as 1 of 6 kids. My question deals with what I have been feeling on my heart as I have tried to deepen my faith in college and met people in college who have challenged me to grow in my trust of God.

When I read things that talk about surrendering my life to Jesus, or losing my life so that I may find it, or any of the other ways to describe the Christian message, instead of feeling joy, I usually feel scared and stressed out. What can I do? - Mike

Dear Mike:

What a beautiful spiritual journey you have found in your search for truth.  CatholicView believes you are already deepening your faith by wanting to learn more ways to strengthen that faith.  Do not let others challenge what you believe.  Feel secure that you have all that you, as a Christian Catholic, need to continue on your Christian journey.  I believe you are on the right road.

Through prayer and reading the bible, you are committing yourself to your faith.  All of us have doubts sometimes.  Even Thomas in the bible had doubts.  But as long as you do not act on those doubts or move away from the love of Jesus Christ, pray about all things, then the Lord will make you strong and will open your heart to greater understanding and joy. 

"It is God that worketh in us, both to will and to do of His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13), so learn to believe firmly and do not let others sway you.

Pope Benedict XVI’s new encyclical, “Spe Salvi” we read  "Life in its true sense is not something we have exclusively in or from ourselves, it is a relationship. And life in its totality is a relationship with Him Who is the source of life. If we are in relation with Him Who does not die, Who is life itself and love itself, then we are in life. Then we 'live... Our relationship with God is established through communion with Jesus -- we cannot achieve it alone or from our own resources alone”

Try to live a joyful life, free from others’ opinions, which sometimes leave doubt.  You have within you a wonderful thing called the Holy Spirit, which warns you of anything that is dangerous to a Christian.  If friends come to you speaking of “so called truth” and it makes you doubt your faith and your beliefs, do not heed it for as long as you pray and have a personal relationship with our Lord, you are just fine and God is very pleased with you.   You see, the Lord does not want others to tempt your faith, or put doubt within you.  Know that if you truly believe and pray, Jesus will lead you to truth always, so you do not need to be reminded of who you are.  You are a Christian Catholic.  So go in peace and continue to serve the Lord, doing what you know in your heart is right.  God bless you always.   – CatholicView Staff

“What should a Eucharistic Minister do if the host is accidentally
dropped?” - Patricia

 CatholicView Staff:

What should a Eucharistic Minister do if the host is accidentally dropped during distribution?

Dear Patricia:

Thank you for asking.  The General Instruction of the Roman Missal, (Copyright © 2003, United States Catholic Conference, Inc., Washington, D.C.) states:  280. If a host or any particle should fall, it is to be picked up reverently.

If you drop a consecrated host, you must immediately pick it up.   Once retrieved you may either consume it yourself or hold it in the palm of the hand holding the ciborium then consume it when you return to the sanctuary credence table.  Sometimes if the priest sees this happen, he will take the host and consume it himself immediately. - CatholicView Staff

”Because I have chronic prostatitis, my doctor manually gets test
samples. I am embarrassed.  Should I try another doctor?” - Bob

 
CatholicView Staff:

Six months ago, I was diagnosed with chronic prostatitis.   Each time, I go to my urologist he does the prostate milking to obtain samples, which is very embarrassing. I usually become aroused. Recently during the procedure he held my penis as squeezed it like he was trying to masturbate me to obtain the sample. I was wondering if this procedure is moral from the Catholic point of view. I am not certain if there is any sin involved in this. Should I try another doctor? He also told me that prostate milking is as method of alternative therapy for my condition. I am also taking medications and now I feel a lot less discomfort comparing to the last year. - Bob

Dear Bob:

I am sorry to hear about your chronic illness concerning your prostrate.  You must take care of the bodily temple that God gave you.  Your doctor has decided that the procedure you described was a therapeutic way of keeping you healthy and free from prostrate problems and cancer in the future.  I also understand that you are conflicted about this invasive medical procedure that causes you sexual conflict within your soul.  There is no sin involved with this type of medical procedure since it is an accepted practice in some cases.  I know that such types of procedures bring up sexual tension and temptation.  Be at peace.  God knows what is happening and God loves you and wants you to take care of your body.  When you are conflicted about the sexual tensions that are present when you are in this medical procedure, just say a little prayer to the Lord and simply say. "Lord, I give you everything that I am.   Send your Spirit of healing upon my body.  I trust in You.  Be by my side now in Jesus' Name.  Amen!"  The sexual tension is natural in this situation.  So offer it to the Lord and be at peace.  Be confident in His love for you.  If you feel any kind of moral discomfort, please seek a second opinion from another doctor concerning this procedure.  You mentioned that you are feeling better!  Praise God!  Maybe, this is a sign that this invasive and somewhat embarrassing procedure is working for you. - CatholicView Staff

”How do I start the process of Annulment? - Lory
 

CatholicView Staff:

Who and where do I go to start the process of an annulment?   Thank you for your time
Sincerely, Lory

Dear Lory:

Thank you for writing.  Just go to see your parish priest.  After discussing important details of your marriage,  he will get things started.  Be sure to provide all information such as marriage certificates, where you were married, etc.

Here’s hoping you can get things sorted out.  Many blessings. - CatholicView Staff

 


”What must I do to be baptized in the Roman Catholic Church?”
- Carl

 
CatholicView Staff:

What must I do to be baptized in the Roman Catholic Church? As a baby I was baptized in a Protestant Church. – Carl

Dear Carl:

To become a member of the Catholic Church, please find a Church close to where you live and contact the Parish Office and inform them of your desire to convert.  I am assuming that you have attended mass before and know that you want to be a member.

You will be asked to talk to a priest or deacon, or perhaps to a layperson who is experienced in the conversion process. He will ask you why you wish to become Catholic and in general, talk to you to be sure you are sincere in your desire and are aware of the conditions of being Catholic.

If you continue on in the process, you'll start taking Catholic education classes, also known as RCIA or Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. You will learn the history of the Church, the beliefs and values of the Catholic Church, and the proper order of celebration of Mass. During this stage, many classes have you attending Mass for only part of the time, leaving before communion, as you may not receive Eucharist until you have entered the Church.

Since you have been baptized, the priest will take that under consideration and you may not be required to be re-baptized.  Once this is taken care of, and after you have been accepted into the Church, you go to the Sacrament of Confession and you will receive your first communion.

Welcome to the Catholic Church.  May the Lord strengthen you in your resolve to be part of our Church family.  God bless.  – CatholicView Staff

“If I go to heaven will my little Yorkie be there too?” - Hunter

CatholicView Staff:

Does God love all the little animals that are his creations? Saint Francis of Assisi believed so. I ask because I have a little Yorkshire terrier dog that I love very much. Does God also love my little dog? If God loves my little dog, which he created, why does my little guy not have a soul? If I go to heaven when I die, I would want to be reunited with my Yorkie. He is so sweet and innocent and brings me much happiness.  Hunter

Hunter:

God loves all created animals.  Father Amaro Saumell gave the following answer concerning your question in January 2007:

”No one knows if pets go to heaven or not. If not, you know that you provided “heaven” for his little lifespan. But if there is going to be a new heaven and new earth, who knows? The scriptures don’t address this most likely because it has nothing to do with our salvation.  What does have to do with our salvation is your gentleness that you’ve shown your dog. So, if our reward is great in heaven, there’s surely the possibility.”

Here’s hoping this helps a bit. – CatholicView Staff 

 


“Is a priest so busy he cannot offer Christian
condolences to his parishioner?” - Amos

CatholicView Staff:

My father passed away on the 18th of May '09. When talking with the priest, he did not ever ask for questions or say, “My door is always open”.  Nothing.  My question, Is a priest that busy that he cannot say something like that? – Amos

Dear Amos:

CatholicView is saddened to hear about the loss of your father.   And we are so sorry that you were treated in a manner totally unbecoming a priest.  There is no excuse for being unfeeling and rude to someone who is grieving for a family member. 

Although his behavior was inexcusable, consider that he is a human being with flaws like all of us.    You must forgive him and say a prayer that he learns that he is a representative of Christ and must always act like one.  

Hunter, our prayers are with you during your time of grief.  – CatholicView staff

“Is it a sin to renew your marriage vows?” - Paul

CatholicView Staff:

Is it a sin to renew your marriage vows? I frequently visit a major Catholic apologetics website, and a recent question published there provoked a response from the staff apologist that Catholics don't renew marriage vows. The apologist's point was that we believe marriage vows are lifelong and don't need renewing, and their answer strongly implied that it was wrong to do so, and wanting to do so implied that a couple didn't believe in the permanent nature of a sacramental marriage. We're about to celebrate our 25th and our priest has offered to do a vow renewal service for us. Of course we believe marriage vows are lifelong, but were looking forward to renewing the promises. Why is this wrong? With traditional marriage under attack, I would think the church would welcome a couple's desire to renew their promises and celebrate their long-term commitment to each other.

Dear Paul:

Catholics can and do renew their marriage vows with joy and new promise.  It is a beautiful time of remembering the sacrament of marriage and the success you have made in spite of the hardships every married couple face during the past years.  It is also a voluntary renewal that says you love each other so much that you want to relive your vows once again.  Looking back over the years and a couple see how God has bless their union.   It is indeed a precious and sacred moment in time to be cherished.

Visit this link to see how over 200 couples gathered to renew their vows.  http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=25552 

Congratulations on twenty-five blessed years.  In this day and age where a vow is temporary, the Lord has truly been good to you and sustained the love you have for each other.  May you celebrate your next twenty-five years of marriage with the same newness of spirit and love. – CatholicView Staff 

“Can I get my 3 month old marriage annulled” Samie

CatholicView Staff:

I have been married for three months and my husband has asked me for a divorce. We are both Catholics and live in Ireland. He plans to move to Spain to be with another women. Can I get my marriage annulled and what is the process.

Samie:

I am so sorry that your marriage has ended after such a brief time.  Were you married in the Church?  If you were not, your marriage is not recognized as valid.  Even if you did marry in the Church, the Church will take into consideration that your husband abandoned that marriage after three months time.   But you must speak to a priest about this.  As for getting an annulment, your parish priest will also sort things out for you when you see him.  Just make sure you bring your wedding certificate and all vital information. 

You are doing the correct thing in seeking an annulment.  Your husband has proven, by the short time devoted to the marriage, that he did not enter this sacrament honestly and fairly.

Go and talk to your priest.  Let him explain what has to done in your case.  May God strengthen and give you the courage to move forward with your life. – CatholicView Staff

“I am separated and waiting for my divorce papers. 
Can I take communion?” - Rick

CatholicView Staff:

I have been separated for almost two years, and am waiting on the final divorce. I have recently started having intimate relations with my new mate. Should I not be going to communion? - Rick

Dear Rick:

You are still married in the eyes of the Catholic Church.  You are committing adultery because you are still married to your wife.     You cannot take the Sacrament of Communion until you talk to a priest about an annulment and receive it.  – CatholicView Staff

“What birth control methods does the Church allow?”
- Rosy                       

CatholicView Staff:

I have been reading all the Catholic laws on using fertility methods and do not really understand them. Could you please tell me what the church allows? - Rosy

Rosy:

The Church offers only one method of birth control called Natural Family Planning or NFP.  Contraception is wrong because it’s a deliberate violation of the design God built into the human race, often referred to as "natural law." The natural law purpose of sex is procreation. The pleasure that sexual intercourse provides is an additional blessing from God, intended to offer the possibility of new life while strengthening the bond of intimacy, respect, and love between husband and wife. The loving environment this bond creates is the perfect setting for nurturing children.

But sexual pleasure within marriage becomes unnatural when it is used in a way that deliberately excludes the basic purpose of sex, which is procreation. God’s gift of the sex act, along with its pleasure and intimacy, must not be abused by deliberately frustrating its natural end—procreation.

Natural family planning, or NFP is the only method of birth control approved by the Roman Catholic Church.  It is the avoidance of fertile periods by abstintence.  Call your parish office to find out when classes may be held.  – CatholicView Staff

“Can Priests have friendships with women?” - Peter

CatholicView Staff:

How strongly are priests taught to avoid close friendships with women?  How might I suggest to a female parishioner that her interest in the pastor is actually a crush?

Dear Peter:

Many priests have friend of both sexes.  A friendship is not necessarily a matter of the heart but just a friendship.  A priest needs friends too.  I would suggest that you do not involve yourself in something that is clearly not your business or your problem.  The priest is capable of taking care of this matter himself should he decide to do so. – CatholicView Staff

“If my wife’s health is seriously at stake and her doctor
advises birth control, is this permitted?” - Tim

CatholicView Staff:

Is it OK for my wife and I to use a form of contraception?  I am a life long Catholic, and my wife recently went through RCIA.  We have two young sons already.  We have had 3 very easy conceptions, with one miscarriage.  My wife is a small woman, and both pregnancies have been physically and emotionally demanding for her.  I would like to be able to practice NFP, but we are worried about another pregnancy.  Our two sons are less than a year apart, and our newborn had serious health issues at birth.  We are not ready at all for another child.  I am reluctant to use artificial birth control, because of the churches teachings.  But I am also reluctant to risk another pregnancy.  Thank you for taking the time to read this. - Tim

Dear Tim:

A mother’s health is always a strong consideration and she must always follow her doctor’s advice.

You must talk to your parish priest about the advisability of birth control.  NFP or Natural Family Planning is the method of birth control recommended.   However, in a case where the health of the mother is seriously impaired or at risk, then you must present this information from your doctor to your priest.   May the Lord bless you and your family always.  – CatholicView Staff

“What is the proper way to dispose of an old worn bible?”
- Stephen

CatholicView Staff:

I have had the same Bible for many years, but it's so old that the binding is not holding it together and the pages are falling out.  What is the proper way to dispose of the Bible, if, of course, it is proper at all?  Stephen

Stephen:

Since your bible is old and cannot be given to anyone in this worn state, you can dispose of it by burying it, or burning it.   God bless you.  – CatholicView Staff

“I am getting married and we bought a home.  Would it be okay
to live its garage or shed until we are married?” - Peter

CatholicView Staff:

I thought I would marry my fiancé before closing on a home. Turns out the house was purchased first.  I live in a separate room - no sex in four months. I am willing to live in the garage or shed if needed. Or get an apartment if required.

Would living in the garage or shed be okay for a few months until I am married? - Peter

Dear Peter:

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

I would advise you to avoid the occasion of sin by living away from the house you bought.  The proximity to your fiancé is not something recommended although I am sure your intentions are good. 

Get an apartment for those few months.  May the Lord bless your marriage and may you spend many years of happiness together.  – CatholicView Staff 

“Does baptism cleanse us of original sin?” - Margo

CatholicView Staff:

I've had 12 years of Catholic schooling and have been taught that the sacrament of Baptism cleanses us of original sin.

Recently, my pastor, refused to baptize an unwed mother's sickly infant.

I confronted him directly and asked him why he refused to baptize the infant.  He replied that it is not certain that the sacrament of Baptism cleanses us of original sin.

What? Is this true?  Yours in Christ, Margo

Dear Margo:

Thank you for your sad letter concerning your priest’s refusal to baptize a sickly baby at Church. 

You are correct in that the rite or sacrament of baptism does cleanse us from our original sin.  St. Paul understood baptism as a drowning of sin or a death and rebirth as a new being.  Catholics believe that baptism washes away all sins.

The baby is not at fault for the sins of the mother and is therefore entitled to baptism.  This priest is wrong to refuse baptism to the child.  No matter what circumstances exist for the mother, the child is ALWAYS entitled to receive baptism.  Call your Archdiocese and report this matter to the Vicar of Clergy.  – CatholicView Staff

“Even though I have been forgiven for my sin, will I still go to
hell?” - Jessica

CatholicView Staff:

I participated in sexual activity with a married man when I was 16 about 6 years ago. I knew it was wrong at the time, but was too scared to say no to him; I wish it never happened.  I have gone to confession and have prayed for forgiveness.   I had initially felt relieved after confession, but now still feel sick and sad every time I think of the act for fear of never being forgiven.   Will I go to hell for this sin? - Jessica

Dear Jessica:

You will not go to hell for this particular sin.  If you have confessed to this sin before God and have prayed for that forgiveness, know that if you are sincere and have promised to avoid that sin in the future, you are forgiven.  Absolutely.  And now, Jesus waits for you to take His forgiveness and be at peace.  No sin is too big for our Savior to forgive if we truly promise to avoid that sin in the future.

You are now freed from this particular sin.  Keep praying to God, asking Him to give you peace in your mind and in your soul.  Ask Him to remove all shame and the remorse and give you the strength to accept His gift of forgiveness.  When God forgives a truly repentant person, it is complete and forgotten forever.   Any vestiges of sin should be a reminder to avoid future sin.  Let your feelings act as a “stop sign” to make you watchful.  Recognize this and continue to pray, always keeping in mind that you have put your sins at the foot of the cross and Jesus Christ has paid for those sins with His blood and cleansed them forever.  His sacrifice has set you free.  You are no longer in the chains of this sin but stand brand new and freed.  Receive his mercy and let His gift of forgiveness wash away the shame, the hurt, and the remorse from your memory.  Appreciate the goodness and love Christ has for you. Do not reject His forgiveness by tormenting yourself with guilt and shame.  Show that you accept the Lord's forgiveness by forgiving yourself, and moving forward in His service.  May the Lord continue to bless you and give you His peace.  – CatholicView Staff